The ‘Stranger Things’ trailer is here and the kids are most definitely not alright.

Continue reading “The ‘Stranger Things’ trailer is here and the kids are most definitely not alright.”

Have you watched ‘The Haunting of Hill House’ yet? Great! Let’s talk about it. No? Go watch ‘The Haunting of Hill House.’

Continue reading “Have you watched ‘The Haunting of Hill House’ yet? Great! Let’s talk about it. No? Go watch ‘The Haunting of Hill House.’”

In the least surprising news of the day, Melania Trump is a gender traitor

Continue reading “In the least surprising news of the day, Melania Trump is a gender traitor”

Let’s talk about ‘Game of Thrones’ and ‘The Walking Dead’ right after we talk about this fascist fucking policy of separating families that the GOP is currently engaged in

Continue reading “Let’s talk about ‘Game of Thrones’ and ‘The Walking Dead’ right after we talk about this fascist fucking policy of separating families that the GOP is currently engaged in”

‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’: Arrivederci, Meatball

The Real Housewives of New Jersey
“The Importance of Being Family”
October 16, 2016

It’s time for Meatball to go to meatball prison for committing meatball fraud, and I am not going to cry because Meatball brought this upon himself by being a dumb meatball. I’M NOT GOING TO CRY, DAMMIT.

Continue reading “‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’: Arrivederci, Meatball”

‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’: Take a lap

The Real Housewives of New Jersey
“Rage on My Ass”
September 25, 2016

We begin this episode exactly where we left the last: with Teresa telling her cugini that she doesn’t want to have a relationship with them, but, confusingly, that her “door is always open.”  Continue reading “‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’: Take a lap”

‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’: Famiglia time

The Real Housewives of New Jersey
“Swimming with Gefilte Fishes”
August 21, 2016

Ugh. Dolores. Does anyone actually care about Dolores? SHOW OF HANDS: Who cares about Dolores? Continue reading “‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’: Famiglia time”

‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’: The more things change

The Real Housewives of New Jersey
“Dinner Interrupted”
August 14, 2016

For an episode billed as A GRANDE FIGHT BETWEEN TERESA AND JACQUELINE, I can not begin to stress how much of this episode is actually devoted to Melissa’s kids being in a dumb fashion show, yous guys. If I had to break it down, this episode was 5% Siggy giving her kids grief, 1% something about Dolores and a gym that I DO NOT CARE ABOUT, 8% Teresa and Jacqueline having a fight and 9,000% Melissa and this dumb kids’ fashion show.  Continue reading “‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’: The more things change”

‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’: Signore Mom

The Real Housewives of New Jersey
“A Life to Envy”
July 31, 2016

Yous guys. I haven’t watched ahead, so I honestly do not know the answer to this, but is this season going to improve? I know I’m waaaaaay behind, but I don’t know that I can take an entire season of the Follettos bitching at each other about Melissa’s dumb boutique, which is pretty much what this entire episode was. Continue reading “‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’: Signore Mom”

‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’: New year, new yous

OH, MY AMICI! Where have I been? Why haven’t I been keeping up with my favorite dumb felonious goombahs? I don’t even know!

The truth is, my Meatballs and Folletttos were somehow misplaced during the move from Tubular, and I’m only just now finding them and catching up. And while I might have to abbreviate some of these entries, I swear on my legitimate citizenship and my own — not my twin’s — driver’s license that I will catch up. As Madonna is my witness, I will catch up, yous guys.  Continue reading “‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’: New year, new yous”