President Brain Worms just said that George Floyd is having a good day today because the jobs numbers were better than expected.

So back in mid-March, this guy went out to a cabin in the woods for a 75-day silent retreat:

 

GO BACK. JUST TURN AROUND AND GO BACK TO THAT CABIN, MY MAN.

Because things, they aren’t better. It’s Breonna Taylor’s 27th birthday — or would have been if she hadn’t been killed by the police in her own home. Cops are still beating the shit out of protestors and, apparently, old men (warning, this video is really hard to watch):

 

 

 

… there are mysterious unmarked military men in Washington D.C. who refuse to identify themselves …

 

… and this fucking moron who is currently occupying the White House just said this:

 

 

As you all well know, I am rarely left speechless by this man. But y’all, I have no words.

George Floyd is not having a good day, actually, because he is dead, a victim of systemic racism. Here are photos from his funeral. I am not going to post about the celebrities who attended because it’s not about them.

Every night this week, Late Night with Seth Meyers has handed over the opening of the show to Amber Ruffin who has been sharing her experiences with the cops. It’s worth your time:

 

OWN Spotlight: Where Do We Go From Here? will be hosted by Oprah Winfrey and be broadcast on OWN and all of Discovery’s networks on June 9 and 10.

Riverdale‘s creator and producer has responded to Vanessa Morgan calling out the show’s lack of diversity.

 

Saturday co-host and CBS News correspondent Michelle Miller did a piece on CBS This Morning about how her life has been impacted by racism.

 

Does this go with the protest news or does it go with the virus news and WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON, 2020? Anyway, The ATX Festival, which begins today, has canceled their panels on Scrubs, Justified, Cougar Town, One Day at a Time, Channel Changers and Torchlighters with the hope to reschedule them later in the summer. From what I can tell, this is out of sensitivity for what is happening right now.

I’m old enough to remember when Laura Ingraham told LeBron James to shut up and dribble. Gee, I wonder what the difference is? Mr. James would like to know, too.

Meghan McCain compared New York City to a warzone and was dragged by a Full Frontal writer for it in one of my very favoritest tweets of this whole mess:

 

But the REAL punchline is that McCain has been in Virginia THIS WHOLE TIME.

Abby Lee Miller was accused by a Dance Moms mom of being a racist asshole towards her and her daughter — shocking, I know — and now Miller is sorry you found out.

 

Buffalo Bills quarterback Jake Fromm suggested in a text that became public that guns should be made so expensive that “only elite white people can get them.” He’s sorry now that people found out.

The LA Galaxy and player Tea Katai have parted ways after Katai’s wife posted a bunch of racist shit on Instagram.

Oh no:

 

Oh no:

 

 

OH NO:

Krist-Novoselic-Trump

One of Reddit’s co-founders, Mr. Serena Williams, just gave up his seat on Reddit’s board, instructed the company to fill it with a black candidate and then donated $1 million Colin Kaepernick’s Know Your Rights Camp.

Bad Robot and The Katie McGrath & JJ Abrams Family Foundation have pledged $10 million to anti-racism organizations.

Hey, Disney, here’s an idea:

 

The editor of Variety is taking a little time off after getting into a heated back-and-forth with a former employee on Twitter about whether the company was doing enough to encourage and support diversity in the newsroom.

Y’all. I know The Help makes you feel better, but there are better things to watch on Netflix right now like The 13th, Selma, and When They See Us. In fact, The Criterion Collection has lifted its paywall on many movies and documentaries by black filmmakers, so go enjoy!

Speaking of Selma, David Oyelowo alleges that the Academy snubbed the film after the cast wore “I Can’t Breathe” t-shirts to the movie’s premiere.

Epix has pushed back the release date of their Charles Manson documentary because MAYBE RIGHT NOW ISN’T THE TIME.

Terry Crews has publicly apologized to Gabrielle Union in light of the George Floyd protests:

 

 

 

John Mulaney was at the White House Horse in a Hospital protest:

 

Newspapers have to do better.

But Time Magazine gets it. And so does LEGO. And it only took the threat that black people might buy guns for Walmart to remove them from store floors. Huh.

 

(h/t Josh! Thanks!)

Going Viral:

Oh my God, this fucking moron also forced the press pool to sit closer together during today’s press conference because “it looks better.”

The Disney virtual upfronts actually happened on May 27, but the embargo was only lifted today, so here are Jimmy Kimmel’s jokes about the pandemic, the Olympics, Disney, TikTok, Quibi, Peacock, advertising and linear TV.

“The good news is that after everything that’s happened, we’re still here, new platforms come and go, but television is here to stay whether you watch it or not. Forget about what these other guys are doing, just remember what TV doesn’t do.

TV doesn’t buffer, TV doesn’t freeze up, TV doesn’t constantly suggest what other shows you should watch, TV doesn’t ask you for a password you can’t remember or if you accept cookies, or start playing the next episode before you have time to say that you don’t want to watch another episode, and before you know it, the sun is coming up and you’ve just finished a season of Riverdale. TV will also never keep a list of all of the porn you’ve ever watched. Because we’re old school. We might be dinosaurs, but you know what, dinosaurs roamed the earth for 160M years.”

Meanwhile, ABC Entertainment President Karey Burke finds the silver lining in the pandemic: virtual writers’ rooms! I mean, OK.

True Life Presents: First-Time First Responders will air on MTV on June 9.

 

Con of Thrones has been postponed until 2021, and will move to Orlando.

All Other TV News

We all know a Harry Potter TV series on HBO Max is just a matter of time. The Verge has some ideas about what one could look like.

Speaking of HBO Max, guess what the most popular title to stream is? Nope. Guess again. Not that either. I’ll give you one more guess.

Meanwhile, HBO Max still isn’t available on Roku. Here’s why that’s a problem for them.

Joe Giudice is going to box some ex of Jennifer Lopez. 2020 just keeps on keeping on.

Renewals

  • We’re Here has been renewed for a second season at HBO, thank the TV Gods because it is one of the few things that has lifted me up through ALL OF THIS.

Cancellations

In Development

  • Law & Order: Hate Crimes, which was ordered way back in 2018, will probably be streamed on Peacock rather than aired on NBC out of a concern over language. This is probably for the best, honestly. Keep it real. Make it real. Let people hear the truth instead of (literally) white-washing it.
  • When The Dust Settles and the documentary Through Greenland hosted by Nikolaj Coster-Waldau have been bought by streaming service, Topic.

Mark Your Calendar

  • Untucked will return after RuPauls’ Drag Race All Stars beginning tonight.
  • Dating Around (which is an actually very charming dating reality show unlike SOME I COULD NAME) returns on Netflix on June 12.

 

WATCH THIS

FRIDAY

RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars: More Drag Race, yes, please. It’s about the only thing getting me through these dark days, I’m not even kidding. Season premiere. 7 p.m., VH1

13 Reasons Why: The fourth and final season of the controversial teen drama. Netflix

Dear …: In which famous people read letters from people whose lives they changed because what famous people need are ego boosts. Series premiere. Apple TV+

We Are Freestyle Love Supreme: A documentary about Lin-Manuel Miranda’s hip-hop group from the early 2000s. Hulu In solidarity with the protests, this has been postponed. 🖤

Queer Eye: If you want something to cry about other than the news, these guys have you covered. Season premiere. Netflix

Trackers: A political crime thriller set in the shadowy underworld of South Africa. Series premiere. 9 p.m., Cinemax

Betty: All-girl skate! Season premiere. 10 p.m., HBO

SATURDAY

Ad Astra: Brad Pitt goes to space. 7 p.m., HBO

Dear Class 2020: Man, what a time to be graduating. YouTube

Yvonne Orji: Momma, I Made It!: The co-star of Insecure has her first stand-up special. 9 p.m., HBO

SUNDAY

30 for 30: Be Water: An intimate look at the life of the incomparable Bruce Lee. 8 p.m., ESPN

Hollywood Game Night: Season premiere. 6 p.m., NBC

I May Destroy You: Michaela Coel wrote, produced, directed and stars in this new series that explores the murky morass that is sexual consent, liberation, and exploration. Series premiere. 9:30 p.m., HBO

Late Night:

  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: (Friday): Rep. Karen Bass, Judd Apatow

 

FRI. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Shark Tank
(repeat)
20/20
CBS MacGyver
(repeat)
Magnum P.I.
(repeat)
Blue Bloods
(repeat)
CW Masters of Illusion
(new)
Masters of Illusion
(repeat)
Whose Line Is It Anyway?
(repeat)
Whose Line Is It Anyway?
(repeat)
Local
FOX Friday Night Smackdown Local
NBC World of Dance
(repeat)
The Blacklist
(repeat)
Dateline

SAT. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30 10:00 10:30 11:00 11:30
ABC The Last Dance
(repeat)
The Last Dance
(repeat)
The Rookie
(repeat)
News/Local
CBS Bull
(repeat)
NCIS: Los Angeles
(repeat)
48 Hours News/Local
FOX PBA Bowling LEGO Masters
(repeat)
News/Local
NBC Indy Car Racing Saturday Night Live
(repeat)
News/
Local
Saturday Night Live
(repeat)

SUN. 6:00 6:30 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC America’s Funniest Home Videos
(new)
Celebrity Family Feud
(new)
Press Your Luck
(new)
Match Game
(new)
CBS 60 Minutes
(new)
Grease Sing-a-long
The CW Local Stargirl
(repeat)
Supergirl
(repeat)
Local
FOX Last Man Standing
(repeat)
Duncan-ville
(repeat)
The Simp-sons
(repeat)
Bless the Harts
(repeat)
Bob’s Burgers
(repeat)
Family Guy
(repeat)
Local/News
NBC Hollywood Game Night
(new)
The Titan Games
(repeat)
America’s Got Talent
(repeat)

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