Welcome to week 10, friends. How are we all holding up? I for one am hairier and chubbier, but I only have one week left of having to yell at my high schooler to DO HIS SCHOOL WORK, so there’s a light at the end of my personal tunnel.
Speaking of parents and kids, I identify with this father, HARD:
LMFAOOOOOOOO I AM IN TEARS😭😭😭 pic.twitter.com/UWq0kaBIHT
— Teflon Juan, M.S.Ed 🇰🇪 (@realjaycollins) May 16, 2020
This virus has thrown television into complete chaos. The Upfronts should have already happened and we should have known by now what the networks’ fall seasons were going to look like, and which shows had been renewed and canceled. But because the pilot filming season was cut short, the networks aren’t sure how many new shows they will want to invest in. As it stands, there are still 25 scripted network series that have no idea if they are coming back next season, including black-ish, Prodigal Son, Last Man Standing, and my hate-blog friends, Stumptown and Manifest. GOOD LUCK, SHOWS, AND MAY THE ODDS BE EVER IN YOUR FAVOR.
The Bold and the Beautiful have notified cast and crew that they are hoping to begin filming again next month. We’ll see. Also, stay tuned to see what this means for other soap productions.
Meanwhile, U.K. broadcasters have put out some guidelines on how to restart productions. It’s only 15 pages long, so it’s more of a generalized outline than an actual set of detailed procedures.
All of a sudden, foreign TV shows are really popular for some reason. Huh.
The Good Morning America concert series is still on — but the performances will all be held virtually.
Apple TV+ has added a new Mythic Quest episode, set and filmed in the quarantine. It will stream on May 22.
Adult Swim has set a Class of 2020 Commencement Speaker series that will stream on YouTube and on the Adult Swim app. Eric Andre, Maria Bamford, Xavier, Renegade Angel, JB Smoove, Killer Mike, Jena Friedman, and Carl Brutananadilewski have been set as speakers.
ViacomCBS has announced a number of self-filmed series for Pride Month.
Saturday Night Live has released another quarantine digital video and … it’s fine. But that didn’t stop Warming Glow from writing WAY too many words about it. This lockdown needs to end soon because people are losing their damn minds.
Exhibit B: Actor David Ury has been entertaining himself during the quarantine by doing dramatic readings of classic TV theme songs, and they are as creepy as they are funny:
60 Minutes interviewed Dr. Rick Bright, the whistleblower who testified before Congress last week that the administration did a piss-poor job early in the crisis and we will be fucked if we open too early.
ICYMI: Watch our @60Minutes interview with whistleblower Rick Bright here https://t.co/IzdDcHSI9q
— Norah O'Donnell 🇺🇸 (@NorahODonnell) May 17, 2020
As you can imagine, President ThinSkin took this completely in stride and absolutely did not call for Norah O’Donnell to be fired over it:
.@60Minutes & third place anchor, @NorahODonnell, are doing everything in their power to demean our Country, much to the benefit of the Radical Left Democrats. Tonight they put on yet another Fake “Whistleblower”, a disgruntled employee who supports Dems, fabricates stories, &…
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 18, 2020
….This whole Whistleblower racket needs to be looked at very closely, it is causing great injustice & harm. I hope you are listening @SenSusanCollins I also hope that Shari Redstone will take a look at her poorly performing gang. She knows how to make things right!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 18, 2020
To be fair to President Baby Feelings, he had a rough weekend, what with a real President addressing our nation’s youth in a thoughtful and empathetic manner during a nationwide commencement address that made us all remember what it was like to have competent leadership:
And all that our Projector-in-Chief can do is tweet that President Obama is corrupt and incompetent.
Well, that and tweet out a weird video with his head superimposed on President Bill Pullman’s body during the big Independence Day speech, to which Bill Pullman was like, “Nah, dude.” But yes, definitely tell me more about how incompetent President Obama was.
PRETENDING U KNOW WHAT YOUR DOING?? CANT BELIEVE U WOULD INSULT OUR CLASSIC FILM THIS WAY! BUT HEY! TYPICAL POS BEHAVIOR! U NEVER HAD THE LEADERSHIP OR COURAGE TO DO THIS ROLE! NEVER! 😡👎🏾👎🏾 https://t.co/OBjdRftYSx
— Vivica A. Fox (@MsVivicaFox) May 17, 2020
Oh, and one of his large adult sons went on TV claiming that this virus is all a plot to keep President Daddy Will Love Me One Day from having his dumb
riots rallies. It’s an interesting theory that doesn’t explain all those dead people in Italy, Spain, Iran, the United Kingdom, China, and France, but sure. It’s all a Democratic plot, you big-gummed genius.
The House of Representatives will allow proxy voting for the first time in history.
Top Chef‘s Tom Colicchio has some thoughts on how — or if — the restaurant industry will recover from this, as well as all the systemic things we need to change.
Shakespeare’s Globe Theatre is in danger of closing forever.
The NFL has given teams the green light to reopen facilities.
Disney Springs is opening on May 20. More stores and restaurants will open on the 27th.
Graceland will reopen this week.
Apple is planning on reopening stores in some 25 states.
However, nightclubs don’t plan on reopening until maybe sometime next year.
And this Maryland restaurant has come up with a unique and hilarious way to enforce social distancing.
The Forever Purge, the fifth Purge film, has been pulled from its July theatrical release date. Last Night in Soho has been pulled from its September opening.
This kid — who had been perfectly healthy before — experienced the terrifying inflammatory condition afflicting children and teens and everyone who wants to reopen the economy or send kids back to school should be required to read this first.
Questlove’s Potluck will air on Food Network on May 28.
All Other TV News
Here’s more on the new Star Trek series that was announced last week: it takes place before Kirk becomes captain of the Enterprise, it will feature Spock, and will be more episodic rather than serialized.
Have you been watching The Last Dance? (It’s so good — I don’t care if it doesn’t use the best documentary practices, it tells the story well.) If you have, please enjoy this perfect tweet from DiGiorno Pizza:
Delivery pizza. Go figure.
— DiGiorno (@DiGiorno) May 18, 2020
Who would like a signed Supernatural script?
OH NO HANNAH BROWN WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
And speaking of Bachelor/Bachelorette contestants: Chris Soules and Victoria Fuller are seeing each other, and you guys, I don’t know who is making the worse decision here.
Joe Giudice wants to do Celebrity Boxing. Yep, that’s on-brand.
Lilly Wachowski for President:
Fuck both of you
— Lilly Wachowski (@lilly_wachowski) May 17, 2020
- Good Girls has been renewed for a fourth season at NBC.
- Breeders has been renewed for a second season at FX. (Yay!)
- The Reagans, a four-part documentary, has been ordered at Showtime.
- The Nest has been picked up at Acorn.
- Wise Entertainment has signed a deal with Amazon.
- Michael Edelstein has signed a first-look deal with Miramax.
- Timothy Olyphant will join the cast of The Mandalorian.
Mark Your Calendar
- Da 5 Bloods will debut on Netflix on June 12.
- The Umbrella Academy will return on Netflix on July 31.
- The Politician will return on Netflix on June 19.
- George Lopez: We’ll Do It For Half will stream on Netflix on June 30.
- Trackers will debut on Cinemax on June 5.
- Sell This House will premiere on FYI on May 18.
- Amazon will stream seven critically-acclaimed Indian films beginning May 29.
Fred Willard, The great comedian and actor
There was no man sweeter or funnier. We were so lucky to know Fred Willard and will miss his many visits https://t.co/joHM39o8k4
— Jimmy Kimmel (@jimmykimmel) May 16, 2020
How lucky that we all got to enjoy Fred Willard’s gifts. He is with his missed Mary now. Thanks for the deep belly laughs Mr. Willard. Best in Show (7/11) Movie CLIP – Judging the Hounds (2000) HD https://t.co/wPrbk9VjWI via @YouTube
— Jamie Lee Curtis (@jamieleecurtis) May 16, 2020
Just learned of Fred Willard's passing. Just about the funniest human ever to walk the planet. An amazing talent, in telekinetic contact with the very wellspring of comedy.
— Harry Shearer (@theharryshearer) May 16, 2020
Lynn Shelton, Director of indie films and TV shows, including Mad Men, Little Fires Everywhere and GLOW, and Marc Maron’s collaborator and romantic partner.
Marc Maron gave a statement to The Hollywood Reporter:
“I loved her very much as I know many of you did as well,” he wrote. “It’s devastating. I am leveled, heartbroken and in complete shock and don’t really know how to move forward in this moment.”
Maron called Shelton a “beautiful, kind, loving, charismatic artist,” adding that “her spirit was pure joy.” He went on to say, “She made me happy. I made her happy. We were happy. I made her laugh all the time. We laughed a lot. We were starting a life together. I really can’t believe what is happening. This is a horrendous sad loss.”
We lost our dear friend Lynn Shelton. We made so many things together. I wish we had made more. Her boundless creative energy and infectious spirit were unrivaled. She made me better. We butted heads, made up, laughed, pushed each other. Like family. What a deep loss. pic.twitter.com/LcowmbGqum
— Mark Duplass (@MarkDuplass) May 16, 2020
I’m so devastated to hear about Lynn Shelton’s passing yesterday. I’m in complete shock that this vibrant, talented, and soulful filmmaker is no longer with us. Lynn was so passionate about our show, Little Fires Everywhere. pic.twitter.com/E8s4dozfDO
— Reese Witherspoon (@ReeseW) May 16, 2020
Lynn Shelton was such an inspiration as a filmmaker and as a person. I finally got to work with her when she directed a bunch of episodes of @love and she was as brilliant as we hoped and everyone adored her. This is so sad. My condolences to her family and her loved ones. https://t.co/iBo4ysAGKx
— Judd Apatow (@JuddApatow) May 16, 2020
Phyllis George, Co-host of The NFL Today and one of the first women to cover professional football nationally, former Miss Texas and Miss America
Ken Osmond, The actor who played Eddie Haskell on Leave it to Beaver
Frank Bielec, One of Trading Spaces‘ original designers
Geno Silva, Scarface and Mulholland Drive actor
Michel Piccoli, French actor
Astrid Kirchherr, Photographer who helped give the Beatles their signature look
The Voice: It’s the final performances before a winner is chosen. Enjoy it now, because who knows when we’ll have live singing competitions again. Legit not kidding 7 p.m., The CW
St. Louis Superman: A rapper ad activist wins a seat in Missouri’s House of Representatives in this new documentary that is being simulcast on MTV’s stations. 8 p.m., MTV, MTV2, VH1
The Bachelor Presents: Listen to Your Heart: OK, I have to admit I have no idea what is going on with this show, and I had to go onto Wikipedia to see if I can figure it out. There appear to be eliminations, so is there a winner? Or is it like Bachelor in Paradise where there are potentially multiple winners? You know what? I don’t care. 7 p.m., ABC
- Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Cole Sprouse, Billy Corgan
- Late Night with Seth Meyers: Nick Kroll, Gov. Gretchen Whitmer
- The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Kumail Nanjiani, Andra Day, Elmo
- The Late Late Show with James Corden: Terry Crews, Old Dominion
- Jimmy Kimmel Live: Sarah Paulson, Gorillaz
- The Daily Show: The Daily Social Distancing Show
- Watch What Happens Live: Ellie Kemper, Daniel Radcliffe
|ABC||The Bachelor Presents: Listen to Your Heart
|The Baker and the Beauty
|Bob Hearts Abishola
|CW||Penn & Teller: Try This At Home
|Roswell, New Mexico
|FOX||The Masked Singer
|The Masked Singer