President Delusional would rather you never know how bad it really is

It’s Friday. Yay? Who cares? What does it matter anyway?

Andrew Cotter meets virtually with his employees to discuss their performances:

Let’s start with politics today, because President Fuck Science is having quite the 24 hours. Yesterday, at his not-campaign rally in Pennsylvania, President Saying the Quiet Part Out Loud was, for once, honest about he feels about testing:

Or, if you’d rather have it delivered more hilariously:

Some people are pointing out how dumb this is, but I think he’s actually being remarkably forthcoming: President Head in the Sand would rather no one be tested than implement a broad coordinated system of testing and contact tracing, because if there were no tests, none of us would ever know just how terrible this virus is. LOGIC! He would legitimately prefer to keep you, me, your parents, our grandparents, our entire country in the complete dark about REALITY than do the hard work of confronting the truth. After all, science and the truth are proving to be very inconvenient for him, and so he’d rather it just all go away now. And the maddening thing about this denialist messaging is that his hardcore followers and believers are going to hear it, absorb it, and refuse to be tested or treat the virus with the seriousness it deserves when or if it touches their very lives.

But leaving that bonkers part of the equation aside, these comments by President Incompetent are a revealing glimpse into exactly what went wrong in this country and why it is not unreasonable to lay the deaths of tens of thousands of our fellow Americans directly on the doorstep of the White House. From the moment this virus became a pandemic, President Denial believed that if he just exerted his will strong enough, if he just ignored it hard enough, it would just go away, magically, sometime in April. The testing, which revealed how widespread the virus actually was, belied this insane fantasy, and thus, in his broken brain, the testing was the problem, not the lack of a competent, aggressive, and federally coordinated response to the virus. Reality literally went to war with President Delusional’s fantasy world and as a result, we are now closing in on 90,000 Americans — roughly 300 9/11s, or 22,5000 Benghazis, for the Republicans in the audience — dead.

Anyway, today he had a press conference which was forced outside in the Rose Garden for social distancing purposes, and it’s being drowned out by a bunch of truckers blaring their horns to protest low shipping rates. He’s claiming it’s a demonstration of “love for Trump,” because he’s a lying lunatic.

NBC acquired the Canadian medical drama, Transplants, suggesting they, like Fox and The CW, will be seeking out programs that have already been produced to fill their fall schedule. NBCUniversal is owned by Comcast, which also owns the U.K. broadcaster, Sky, so I’ll be curious if they acquire any content from them, too, or if they will stick to Canadian productions or series that they have already produced for Peacock. Stay tuned.

Facebook will be streaming a graduation ceremony this afternoon at 1/2 p.m., CST/EST. This is the event where Oprah will be delivering the commencement. Tomorrow’s primetime broadcast will be the one where President Obama delivers the commencement.

The RuPaul’s Drag Race finale will be shot virtually.

Grey’s Anatomy will not be doing the planned last four episodes of this past season.

Smithsonian Channel is doing a documentary about life in lockdown.

ITV will be making a series about the animals at the London Zoo during lockdown.

Safety coordinators will probably be the new reality for most TV and film productions.

Or not! Do what you want, says Oklahoma. They’re just offering mild suggestions over there.

Kumiko Okae, actress and voiceover actress, has died from the virus.

Matt Damon’s daughter was diagnosed with COVID-19.

The Frozen Broadway show has closed permanently.

The Source By Wolfgang Puck, the celebrity chef’s D.C. restaurant, is also closing for good.

Restaurants are adding COVID-19 surcharges to help cover costs, and God bless them, I’m more than happy to pay. Meanwhile, something you should know before you order through GrubHub: they have a shit policy wherein if you, the customer, call a restaurant, GrubHub could be charging the restaurant a service fee. The deal is, GrubHub creates phone numbers for the restaurants with whom they have contracts and they flood the internet with these phone numbers. And if you happen to call that number — even if GrubHub doesn’t make the delivery — they will charge the restaurant a fee, which could be as high as $7 or $8. A CALL. I, for one, will no longer be using GrubHub or any of its other delivery services, and will be doing what I can to find any restaurant’s real phone numbers before placing any orders. So shitty, GrubHub. Truly shitty.

The Los Angeles County Fair has been canceled for the first time since World War II.

Good News:

The cast of Once Upon a Time is having a reunion to raise money for charity, and you could join it.

Julio Torres is hosting a virtual comedy show to raise money for undocumented workers. It will stream this evening.

Michelle Obama and the When We All Vote organization are hosting a virtual prom on MTV right now.

Bette Midler will match donations to the Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS’ COVID-19 Emergency Assistance Fund up to $100,000.

Pedro Pascal joined the cast of Community for their table read.

The last Blockbuster in the world, the one in Bend, Oregon, is — somehow — doing just fine despite all of this.

All Other TV News

How to Get Away with Murder ended last night after a six-season run, and it managed to answer a bunch of lingering questions in a very plot-heavy 40 minutes. Here, the showrunner discusses tying up those loose ends and a potential spinoff, if you’re interested. And here, Viola Davis discusses why she took on the role of the complicated Annalise Keating. Whatever you might think of the show, her character was certainly groundbreaking in how it portrayed African-American women of a certain age: Davis was a goddamned revelation.

Bret Weston Wallis is definitely one of my favorite ridiculous Riverdale names because I’m a big nerd, but this list overlooks Donna Sweett — a tribute to author Donna Tartt, whose book The Secret History not only inspired last season’s prep school murder mystery plot, but all of How to Get Away with Murder, too. Anyway, there are a lot of hilarious names on Riverdale, is the point.

Interesting: Black Mirror has been kicked out of the Emmys’ Movie category and will be forced to compete in Drama. Why haven’t the Emmys created an Anthology category yet? Shows like Black Mirror and American Horror Story shouldn’t be judged against traditional narrative dramas, or limited series as they are self-contained stories in each episode. It’s time to give them their own category.

The United Kingdom government will not be looking into the media behavior leading up to the suicide of Love Island host Caroline Flack.

Renewals

Cancellations

In Development

this is 2020 barbara walters cheri oteri andy cohen anderson cooper new year's eve

  • Clouds, a biopic about teenage singer-songwriter Zach Sobiech, is coming to Disney+.
  • Britbox has picked up the largest collection of Agatha Christie projects, including movies and TV series.
  • The Lost Boys has not been picked up as a series at The CW — but it isn’t dead yet.
  • Close Up, a mystery drama, is not moving forward at Freeform.

Casting News

  • Darren Barnet will guest star on Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Mark Your Calendar

  • Somebody Feed Phil will return on Netflix on May 29.
  • White Lines premieres on Netflix today:

Peacock announced which shows will debut with their official launch on July 15:

  • Brave New World
  • The Capture
  • Intelligence
  • Psych 2: Lassie Come Home
  • In Deep with Ryan Lochte
  • Lost Speedways
  • Curious George
  • Dreamworks Cleopatra in Space
  • Dreamworks Where’s Waldo?

WATCH THIS

FRIDAY

The Great: Elle Fanning and Nicolas Hoult star in this reimagining of the Catherine the Great story from the creator of The Favourite. Series premiere. Hulu

The Last Narc: Amazon gets its own cartel series, a la Netflix’s Narcos. Series premiere. Amazon

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power: Final season. Netflix

The Blacklist: The season finale contains an animated surprise. 7 p.m., NBC

The Greatest #StayAtHome Videos: Cedric the Entertainer hosts a collection of viral moments created during our collective lockdown. 7 p.m., CBS

7 Days on the Front Line: A look at one of the hardest hit hospitals in the world: Montefiore Medical Center in the Bronx, New York. 8 p.m., CBS

Shark Tank: Season finale. 7 p.m., CBS

SATURDAY

Graduate Together: America Honors the High School Class of 2020: All four major networks will simulcast this graduation ceremony for all of our high school seniors who have been robbed of their own commencement ceremonies. President Obama will deliver the commencement (and I’m already weepy just thinking about it). 7 p.m., ABC, CBS, Fox, NBC

Joker: The Joker has a backstory. 7 p.m., HBO

Prince of Darkness: Satan’s been hanging out in a basement this whole time! (I haven’t seen this movie in years, but I remember it being very spooky.) 9 p.m., Starz Retroplex

SUNDAY

Snowpiercer: Daveed Diggs and Jennifer Connelly star in this TV adaptation of the brilliant Bong Joon-ho film. Series premiere. 8 p.m., TNT

American Idol: A winner is chosen. Season finale. 7 p.m., ABC

Taylor Swift City of Lover Concert: Taylor Swift performs in Paris in this one-hour special. 9 p.m., ABC

America’s Funniest Home Videos: A special “at-home” edition, but isn’t AFV always from home? 6 p.m., ABC

Hightown: A National Marine Fisheries officer is caught in a mystery when a body washes ashore. Series premiere. 7 p.m., Starz

Beverly Hills Dog Show: There is a joke about dog plastic surgery in here somewhere, but I can’t find it. 7 p.m., NBC

Batwoman: Season finale. 7 p.m., The CW

The Simpsons: Santa’s Little Helper bites Marge in the season finale. 7 p.m., Fox

Duncanville: Duncan runs for class president. Season finale. 7:30 p.m., Fox

Bob’s Burgers: Louise gives mischief lessons. Season finale. 8 p.m., Fox

Family Guy: The Principal moves in with the Griffins in the season finale. 8:30 p.m., Fox

Supergirl: Season finale. 8 p.m., The CW

The Last Dance: It’s the finale of the Michael Jordan and the Bulls documentary. I wonder how it wins? Do you think they win? 9 p.m., ESPN

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (Friday): Dwayne Johnson, Daveed Diggs, the Head and the Heart
  • Watch What Happens Live (Sunday): Gizelle Bryant, Kim Zolciak-Biermann

FRI. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Shark Tank
(new)
20/20
CBS The Greatest #StayAtHome Videos
(new)
Bravery and Hope: 7 Days on the Front Line
(new)
Blue Bloods
(repeat)
CW Masters of Illusion
(repeat)
Masters of Illusion
(repeat)
Masters of Illusion
(repeat)
Local
FOX Friday Night Smackdown Local
NBC The Blacklist
(new)
Dateline


SAT. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30 10:00 10:30 11:00 11:30
ABC Graduate Together: America Honors the High School Class of 2020 American Idol
(repeat)
News/Local
CBS Graduate Together: America Honors the High School Class of 2020 48 Hours 48 Hours News/Local
FOX Graduate Together: America Honors the High School Class of 2020 Celebrity Watch Party
(repeat)
News/Local
NBC Graduate Together: America Honors the High School Class of 2020 Dateline Saturday Night Live
(repeat)
News/
Local
Saturday Night Live
(repeat)


SUN. 6:00 6:30 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC America’s Funniest Home Videos
(new)
American Idol
(new)
Taylor Swift City of Lover Concert
(new)
CBS 60 Minutes Mission Impossible Man With a Plan
(repeat)
The CW Local Batwoman
(new)
Supergirl
(new)
Local
FOX The Simp-sons
(repeat)
Bob’s Burgers
(repeat)
The Simp-sons
(new)
Duncan-ville
(new)
Bob’s Burgers
(new)
Family Guy
(new)
Local/News
NBC Little Big Shots
(repeat)
Beverly Hills Dog Show
(new)
The Wall
(repeat)
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