President Clementine McFartface just publicly celebrated a violent attack on a journalist to absolutely no one’s surprise

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I want to tell you two stories.

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Watch Kellyanne Conway flout federal ethics law on live TV!

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The Rio Olympics: Crossing the finish line

Look, we’re all adults here. I can be honest with you, right? So here’s the thing: I didn’t watch the Olympics live on Friday because OH MY GOD I AM SO SICK OF THE OLYMPICS ALREADY SOMEONE FETCH ME A FROZEN MARGARITA IMMEDIATELY. Continue reading “The Rio Olympics: Crossing the finish line”

The Rio Olympics: Running Out of Interest

Is it just me or are these Olympic Games more sport than spectacle? Yes, there’s been drama and excitement and whatever the fuck is happening with Ryan Lochte, but where are all the video packages about how Allyson Felix loves basket weaving? Or how Katie Ledecky eats 5,000 pounds of spaghetti a week? Where is Mary Carillo making sand art? Continue reading “The Rio Olympics: Running Out of Interest”

The Rio Olympics: And then Ryan Lochte happened.

Oh, we will get to gold-medalist in douche-baggery Ryan Lochte’s shenanigans in a moment, trust. But first! After ELEVEN (11!) long days and nights of Olympic coverage, NBC finally unlocked the closet door they had shoved her behind and allowed Mary Carillo to do what she does best: a tangentially-related cultural tape piece! MARY CARILLO IS FREE! PRAISE TO THE HIGH RIO OLYMPIC MASCOT VINICIUS, OUR PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED AT LONG LAST!

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The Rio Olympics: In which I call bullshit on some bullshit

DAY 10: NO MARY CARILLO.

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