The Bachelor
January 16, 2016
Continue reading “‘The Bachelor’: All aboard the Vomit Comet”
Tag: nick viall
‘The Bachelor’: Booby trap
The Bachelor
January 9, 2016
‘The Bachelor:’ This Asshole Again.
The Bachelor
January 2, 2016
Welcome back to another season of America’s notion of a “romantic” reality show, The Bachelor. This season, for reasons that can only be explained by “2016,” we will be following the amorous exploits of perennial Bachelorette loser, Nick Viall.
The trailer for the new season of ‘The 100’ gives us a fun preview of Trump’s America.
Let’s meet the 30 new ‘Bachelor’ contestants and point and laugh.
So Chicago native Nick Viall, this jackhat, is back for a third — fourth if you count Bachelor in Paradise — stab at reality show love as the titular Bachelor beginning on January 2nd. ABC just released photos and bios of the thirty – 30!!! – women who actually want date, maybe even marry, this mumble box for reasons that are absolutely baffling to me.
The most interesting thing about the contestants is that despite their mutual love for dolphins, Olivia Pope and The Little Mermaid, this is without question the most diverse cast in the history of this show. I don’t want to get myself into trouble because it’s difficult to tell from a still photo and race is a social construct and yadda yadda yadda, but it appears that around a third of these women are people of color. Who cares about who wins The Bachelor this season; the bigger question is is there a chance we will have our first black Bachelorette next summer? Maybe! Fingers crossed!
Click below to meet your new cast.
Continue reading “Let’s meet the 30 new ‘Bachelor’ contestants and point and laugh.”
‘Bachelor in Paradise’: Sweatily ever after
Bachelor in Paradise
September 5, 2016
Finally, amigos. Finally. It’s time to fumigate the Palapa de Rejection for Zika and social diseases, and so our rejects must pair up and vete. And not a moment too soon for my liver and my sense of dignity.
Continue reading “‘Bachelor in Paradise’: Sweatily ever after”
‘Bachelor in Paradise’: Things fall apart
Bachelor in Paradise
August 29, 2016
Before we get started on this recap that felt like it took me 96 hours to write, because maybe it did, I passed out somewhere in the middle and I can’t be entirely sure, we have to address the big news out of infuriatingly-so-called “Bachelor Nation” this week: Nick Viall is going to be the Bachelor for next season: The Bachelor: Some Folks Never Learn. Continue reading “‘Bachelor in Paradise’: Things fall apart”
Hail the demogorgon, ‘Stranger Things’ has been renewed
The Netflix Gods have heard our prayers and finally renewed Stranger Things for a second season, PRAISE BE! Continue reading “Hail the demogorgon, ‘Stranger Things’ has been renewed”
‘Bachelor in Paradise’: Please do not take romantic advice from murder parrots.
Bachelor in Paradise
August 15, 2016
Last we left him, Boner had been unceremoniously dumped by Carly. Driven to insanity desperation, he drafted a fake date card for himself and Token Single Mom, who up to this point had been attached to Josh by the tonsils following their date. This is not a plan! This is madness! Continue reading “‘Bachelor in Paradise’: Please do not take romantic advice from murder parrots.”
‘Bachelor in Paradise’: Single white dummies
Bachelor in Paradise
August 8, 2016
Bachelor in Paradise ended its first episode with a big cliffhanger: would “Hurricane Chad” just take his lunch meats and go, or would he attack the robe-wearing, mimosa-drinking Chris Harrison on his way out? DRAMA!
Continue reading “‘Bachelor in Paradise’: Single white dummies”