‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’: Childish poses

The Real Housewives of New Jersey
“Nama’Stay Away From Me”
October 23, 2016

First of all, episode title, it is “NAMAST’AY away from me,” not “NAMA’STAY away from me.” It’s right there on the shirt!

Second of all, after a couple of interesting episodes in Vermont and one emotional episode, we are right back to this season’s boring holding pattern, so you might want to go make yourself a quick espresso or something, because madonn’. So boring.

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Here’s the ‘Gilmore Girls’ trailer to help get your mind off ‘The Walking Dead’ for a minute.

Continue reading “Here’s the ‘Gilmore Girls’ trailer to help get your mind off ‘The Walking Dead’ for a minute.”

‘The Walking Dead’: Low blows

Fear the Walking Dead
“The Day Will Come When You Won’t Be”
October 23, 2016

Abraham and Glenn.

There. Now you know. Are we done here? Are we good? Can we go home?

UGH. FINE.

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‘Timeless’: The present isn’t perfect

Timeless
“The Assassination of Abraham Lincoln”
October 10, 2016

April 14, 1865

Confederate sympathizer John Wilkes Booth shoots President Abraham Lincoln at Washington, D.C.’s Ford’s Theater during a performance of “Our American Cousin.” Booth times his attack to the delivery of the line, “Don’t know the manners of good society, eh? Well, I guess I know enough to turn you inside out, old gal; you sockdologizing old man-trap!” He hopes to use the audience’s laughter to cover the sound of the gun shot.

After shooting Lincoln, Booth struggles with and stabs Major Henry Rathbone. Booth jumps 12 feet from the box to the stage below where he is generally reported to have cried, “Sic semper tyrannis!” Many in the audience thought it was all a part of the play – until Mary Todd Lincoln started screaming.

Lincoln is carried across the street to the Petersen boarding house where he dies at 7:22 am the next morning. Booth flees the theater and is killed 12 days later at the Garrett farm in Caroline County, VA.

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‘Hawaii Five-0’: Checkmate

Hawaii Five-0
“Hu a’e ke ahi lanakila a Kamaile”
October 14, 2016

Alicia comes to on the floor of ADA Serena Southerland’s home. Her hands are duct taped and there’s a GIANT HONKING KITCHEN KNIFE sticking out of her back.

drum drum drum BUMMER OF A BIRTHMARK, HAL.

Rewind to Serena’s office 18 hours earlier. Moonlight plays the interview close to the chest. Alicia all but jumps up and yells DETECTIVE LAU WAS MURDERED! YOU’RE THE SERIAL KILLER!

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‘Supernatural’: Filling in the blanks

Supernatural
“Mamma Mia”
October 20, 2016

THEN: “Screw. You.”

NOW

Sam is having the sexy times with Lady Cardboard and I just threw up in my mouth a little.

toddlers-and-tiaras_gag

It’s a spell induced hallucination. Another attack on Sam’s mind designed to gather information. You know, if Lady Cardboard does end up being Sam’s love interest, the upside is it will give his Peen of Death a chance to do us all a solid.

The spell begins to wear off. Sam comes to back in the chair in the middle of the cellar.

“So … was it good for you?”

god-i-hate-you-30-rock-tina-fey

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The World Series, ‘Good Girls Revolt,’ a bunch of horror movies, and everything else you don’t want to miss on TV this week.

Continue reading “The World Series, ‘Good Girls Revolt,’ a bunch of horror movies, and everything else you don’t want to miss on TV this week.”

‘The Walking Dead’ jumped right on that whole ‘2016 is the fucking worst’ trend last night.

Continue reading “‘The Walking Dead’ jumped right on that whole ‘2016 is the fucking worst’ trend last night.”

‘Saturday Night Live’: Tom Hanks gits-r-done on ‘Black Jeopardy.’

Saturday Night Live
“Tom Hanks & Lady Gaga”
October 22, 2016

Tom Hanks is a known quantity. The man has, as of last night, hosted Saturday Night Live nine times now, which somehow is not the record. (Alec Baldwin has hosted 16 times — not including his guest appearances; Steve Martin some 15 times; John Goodman 13 times; and, fascinatingly, Buck Henry has hosted 10 times.) So I don’t really have much to say about Hanks as a host other than, you know, he’s good? You don’t get invited back 8 times if you’re not good?

tom hanks shrug i don't know.gif

Continue reading “‘Saturday Night Live’: Tom Hanks gits-r-done on ‘Black Jeopardy.’”

‘The Walking Dead’: Place Your Bets

Last chance! It is literally your last chance to predict who Negan beat to death with his trusty baseball bat, Lucille in the sixth season finale of The Walking Dead. Was it: Rick, Carl, Michonne, Glenn, Daryl, Abraham, Maggie, Sasha, Rosita, Eugene or Aaron? We place our odds on each of the potential victims.

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