Happy Monday! It’s been a busy weekend in our nation’s capitol, and yet not much happened in the overall impeachment inquiry, so we’ll make this quicklike.
A few bullet points of what happened this weekend:
- That drooling idiot, Rudy Giuliani, he butt-dialed an NBC reporter TWICE and left lengthy voicemails detailing some overseas details, the need to “force” someone to “investigate” something (cough cough) and his need for hundreds of thousands of dollars.
- President Inferiority Complex announced that we have killed ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi this weekend which is unquestionably good news. But then in his announcement, he went and made it weird, thanking Russia before our troops — you know, the guys responsible for the kill; explaining that he didn’t tell the Gang of 8 about it because the Democrats can’t be trusted to keep their traps shut while also divulging highly sensitive information regarding the operation in his announcement; claiming that it was a bigger deal than the Osama Bin Laden kill; and, for some reason, dragging dogs into it. Also, he refused to acknowledge the irony that the very intelligence agencies and networks of allies he demeans on a daily basis are the ones ultimately responsible for this particular win.
- So then, this fucker, thinking that killing this one terrorist, this will be the thing that finally FINALLY! makes the American people love him, he went to last night’s World Series Game (Go ‘Stros!) expecting to be bathed in adoration. Instead, when he and his band of goons were shown on the Jumbotron, they were met with boos and loud chants of “LOCK HIM UP!”
We all won the World Series. https://t.co/Qd7Pi1A7VE
— amber ruffin (@ambermruffin) October 28, 2019
Also, people hung a large “IMPEACH TRUMP” from a balcony and a couple of people held up “VETERANS FOR IMPEACHMENT” signs behind home plate. Listen, D.C., I know we’re playing against you right now, but honestly? After the way you dealt with this asshole? I would have been fine with you winning that game.
- Oh, and former White House Chief of Staff John Kelly said that Mick Mulvaney is a worthless Yes Man who is going to get President IMPEACH ME! impeached. No kidding.
As for today’s news, John Bolton’s deputy in the National Security Council, Charles Kupperman, he was supposed to testify today. Instead, he whined to a court, demanding that a judge tell him if he HAD TO testify or if he could just give Congress the finger instead. This pissed off Adam Schiff who gave a sort press conference saying that they’ll look into holding this fucker in contempt. DO IT. QUIT LETTING THEM PLAY GAMES, SCHIFF.
Meanwhile, Tim Morrison, the National Security Council’s Europe and Eurasia director, has promised to appear this week, if he is subpoenaed. Fire up the subpoena machine, Adam.
Finally, for a little dose of schadenfreude, I urge you to read this Washington Post piece about how anxious Republicans are about this inquiry. “’There’s frustration. It feels to everyone like they’re just digging a hole and making it worse. It just never ends. . . . It’s a total [expletive] show,’ said one Republican strategist who has been advising a number of top senators.” Oh, poor babies! If only there was something Republicans — particularly the Senators in this piece — could do to make it all end …
In Other TV News
Wait, Benioff and Weiss are choosing now to admit THEY HAD NO IDEA WHAT THEY WERE DOING? Oh, to have but a smidge of the unearned confidence of a mediocre white man.
Meanwhile, this is adorable, if only because Momoa could crush them both in his meaty paws. (Also, is it me or does Kit Harington look a little nervous around Momoa/):
Heads up: Apple TV+ launches this Friday. Here’s what you need to know about the subscription and the first shows of the launch. I will just add that the reviews are starting to come in and … eh.
Jennifer Aniston once again dashes your Friends reunion hopes — IT’S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN — but promises “something” else instead. Ooh, what, another Instagram post?
Congratulations to the brilliant Dave Chappelle on being awarded the Mark Twain Prize for Comedy. Now be funny again without punching down, Dave.
Here’s a Vanity Fair piece about Chrissy Teigen and John Legend, our true First Family. (It also happens to have been written by an acquaintance of mine, and I’m pretty proud of her.)
Oh, Jared, honey. We’ve all had our share of rough nights in Austin, but this is not OK.
Jim Crane, the owner of the Houston Astros, has finally FINALLY apologized to Sports Illustrated reporter Stephanie Apstein and retracted their statement that accused her of fabricating her story. TOOK YOU GUYS LONG ENOUGH.
— Stephanie Apstein (@stephapstein) October 27, 2019
Rachel Maddow, being the badass that she is, had Ronan Farrow on her show to talk shit about her bosses, and to let it be known that she and others at NBC News were NOT OK with everything that is going on there. She also revealed that NBC News will void their nondisclosure agreements with former employees who might want to discuss their cases.
I mean, listen. I get that James Bond is supposed to be cool and sexy and funny and MASCULINE, but watching these clips, it’s no wonder why so many men, particularly of a certain generation, conflate rapey behavior with being flirty or believe that when a woman says no, she doesn’t REALLY mean it, you just have to try harder. The Skyfall example pissed me off SO HARD in real time and ruined for me what would have otherwise been a really fun movie. Anyway, feminist killjoy, blah blah blah.
FBI is looking good for renewal at CBS, but despite getting a full season order, Cancel Bear thinks that All Rise will not make it to season two.
Almost Family continues to be Fox’s weakest new performer and will probably not be renewed. It’s not been included on the midseason schedule, so that’s not great.
Bluff City Law is all but canceled at NBC.
Emergence isn’t doing as well as Stumptown, but that doesn’t mean it’s doomed.
- Batwoman and Nancy Drew have both been given full-season episode orders at The CW.
- Stumptown, mixed-ish and The Rookie have all been given full-season orders.
- A House Divided has been renewed for a second season at The Urban Movie Channel.
- Earth To Ned, a Jim Henson Co. comedic puppet series, is being developed for Disney+.
- A documentary about Anthony Bourdain is being developed by CNN for HBO Max.
- Loafy has been ordered at Comedy Central.
- Becoming, a sports documentary series by LeBron James, has been ordered by Disney+.
- Full Bloom, a competition series, is being developed at HBO Max.
- Sitara: Let Girls Dream is coming to Netflix.
- Courteney Cox will guest star as herself on Modern Family.
- Elaine Hendrix is your new Alexis Carrington.
- Poppy Drayton is joining the cast of Charmed on The CW.
- Cory Hardrict will join S.W.A.T. in a recurring role.
- Malcolm Barrett, Patrice Covington, Kimberly Hébert Gregory, Rebecca Naomi Jones, and Sanai Victoria are joining the cast of Genius: Aretha Franklin.
Mark Your Calendar
- Dracula is coming to BBC soon and it looks GOOD.
- The Moodys will air on Fox beginning on December 4.
- The next Democratic debate will be on PBS on December 19.
- Pariah: The Lives and Death of Sonny Liston will air on Showtime on November 15.
- Ex on the Beach: Peak of Love will air on MTV on December 5.
Robert Evans, Legendary producer of the Godfather movies and Chinatown among others
John Conyers, Longest-serving African-Amerian congressman
Josip Elic, Actor known for One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
Lauren Brennan Anglero, Former View employee, assistant to Barbara Walters
Paul Barrere, Little Feat guitarist and contributor to many soundtracks
The Deuce: Big changes come to The Deuce in the series finale. 8 p.m, HBO
Little Miss Sumo: A Japanese woman challenges sumo rules that prohibit women from entering the dohyo. Netflix
A 3 Minute Hug: Families separated by the border have a brief and bittersweet reunion. Netflix
- Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Emma Thompson, Joel Kinnaman, Liam Gallagher
- Late Night with Seth Meyers: Sen. Kamala Harris, Gloria Steinem, Omar Apollo
- The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Queen Latifah, Radhika Jones, Wu-Tang Clan
- The Late Late Show with James Corden: John Lithgow, Louis Tomlinson, Rebecca Ferguson
- Jimmy Kimmel Live: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Luenell, Kesha
- The Daily Show: Beto O’Rourke, Michelle Yeoh
- Conan: Edward Norton
- Lights Out with David Spade: Dean Delray, Kevin Nealon
- Watch What Happens Live: Patti LaBelle, Boy George
|ABC||Dancing with the Stars
|The Good Doctor
|Bob Hearts Abishola
|Bluff City Law