DAY 10: NO MARY CARILLO.
Much like Usain Bolt’s 100m sprint, tonight’s primetime Olympic coverage got off to a rough start, but came to a satisfying end.
It the best of the times, it was the most boring of times. Last night’s Olympic coverage was a mixed bag, at best. There were a few thrilling moments in the pool, but then, good God, did we spend a lot of time watching track and field HEATS. Not even semifinals! Semi-semi finals. Do you even care about that? Will you even remember? Even the athletes looked bored!
Sorry for missing the last few days of blogging, y’all. I’ve just been so busy booting up Grindr and hunting down dates with journalists. (Just kidding! Journalists can’t afford dates!) Look, people, the first rule of Grindr is we don’t talk about Grindr, specifically whom we see on Grindr. The second rule is NO STRAIGHTIES ALLOWED. I don’t show up at your fantasy football party and tell everyone which Facts of Life actress you’re all jerking off to together, or whatever the fuck you people do there. Leave our sexy, horny Olympic hotties to get theirs.
It’s Day Five of the Olympic events, and Day Three of me of me blogging Olympic events.
Continue reading “The Rio Olympics: Who knew there even was this much beach volleyball?”
Despite what the TV guides and NBC themselves promised, there would only be two sports in last night’s coverage: women’s gymnastics team finals and a whole bunch of swimming. Like men’s gymnastics team finals the night before, women’s 10m synchronized platform diving would not have its moment of primetime glory, despite being included in all of the listings. Continue reading “The Rio Olympics: Golds for everyone, surprises for none”
Hey, let’s check or TV listings to see which events we’ll be covering in primetime tonight (last night), shall we?
A bunch of swimming, some men’s synchronized diving, women’s beach volleyball and men’s team gymnastics finals? Cool! I am very excited about men’s gymnastics team finals! I sure hope we get to see all of that event! Can’t wait to see me some men’s gymnastics! Continue reading “The Rio Olympics: Oh, you wanted to see men’s team gymnastics? TOO BAD. SO SAD.”