It the best of the times, it was the most boring of times. Last night’s Olympic coverage was a mixed bag, at best. There were a few thrilling moments in the pool, but then, good God, did we spend a lot of time watching track and field HEATS. Not even semifinals! Semi-semi finals. Do you even care about that? Will you even remember? Even the athletes looked bored!
Continue reading “The Rio Olympics: A Dog In Heats”
Sorry for missing the last few days of blogging, y’all. I’ve just been so busy booting up Grindr and hunting down dates with journalists. (Just kidding! Journalists can’t afford dates!) Look, people, the first rule of Grindr is we don’t talk about Grindr, specifically whom we see on Grindr. The second rule is NO STRAIGHTIES ALLOWED. I don’t show up at your fantasy football party and tell everyone which Facts of Life actress you’re all jerking off to together, or whatever the fuck you people do there. Leave our sexy, horny Olympic hotties to get theirs.
It’s Day Five of the Olympic events, and Day Three of me of me blogging Olympic events.
Continue reading “The Rio Olympics: Who knew there even was this much beach volleyball?”
Despite what the TV guides and NBC themselves promised, there would only be two sports in last night’s coverage: women’s gymnastics team finals and a whole bunch of swimming. Like men’s gymnastics team finals the night before, women’s 10m synchronized platform diving would not have its moment of primetime glory, despite being included in all of the listings. Continue reading “The Rio Olympics: Golds for everyone, surprises for none”
Hey, let’s check or TV listings to see which events we’ll be covering in primetime tonight (last night), shall we?
A bunch of swimming, some men’s synchronized diving, women’s beach volleyball and men’s team gymnastics finals? Cool! I am very excited about men’s gymnastics team finals! I sure hope we get to see all of that event! Can’t wait to see me some men’s gymnastics! Continue reading “The Rio Olympics: Oh, you wanted to see men’s team gymnastics? TOO BAD. SO SAD.”
Wow! I can’t believe we’re here!
Embed from Getty Images
Not just here, in Rio, a city founded by giant steampunk spider monsters (according to the opening ceremonies interpretive dance medley), but also HERE on Foolish Watcher, a spiffy new television destination. Also founded by giant steampunk spider monsters. True facts!
Continue reading “The Rio Olympics: Gymnasts Hit the Floor”
Just as a reminder about how this works: Bobby and I don’t actually care all that much about all of the Olympics, just the parts of the Olympics that NBC tells us to care about by airing them during the precious prime time hours. We’re just here for the sob stories and the pretty athletes and the pre-taped packages about Brazilian bikini waxes and caipirinhas.
Quinn Rooney : Getty
That’s Ms. Nastia, if you’re nasty. |
So hopefully, you’ve already been reading our snarky look at the Olympic games. Bobby Hankinson and Therese Odell have turned their sharp, reality-TV-addicted criticisms to the Beijing spectacle. But now, an Olympic first, they come together to share with you their gut reactions to the games!
After the jump, check out some of what they had to say while watching. Just be warned, they’ve got very little knowledge about sports and lots of (possibly inappropriate) ill-informed opinions. Also, they’re vehemently against the Chinese women’s gymnastics team winning any medals.
Continue reading “Olympics: Bobby/Therese transcript Thursday!”
Women’s cycling. This lasts all of about 2 minutes and Kristin Armstrong from U!S!A! wins the gold. And no she’s not related to Lance. DUH. But! She and Lance are both triathletes! So there’s that!
And then we learn that the Women’s Beach Volleyball team REALLY REALLY want to win. NO, REALLY. They’ll shank you if you get in their way.
Question: would Women’s Beach Volleyball get so much primetime play if they weren’t wearing this? Related: Is it sexist?
Continue reading “Olympics: Wishing they’d start the gymnastics just a smidge earlier.”
