Olympics: Bobby/Therese transcript Thursday!

nastia.jpeg

Quinn Rooney : Getty

That’s Ms. Nastia, if you’re nasty.

So hopefully, you’ve already been reading our snarky look at the Olympic games. Bobby Hankinson and Therese Odell have turned their sharp, reality-TV-addicted criticisms to the Beijing spectacle. But now, an Olympic first, they come together to share with you their gut reactions to the games!

After the jump, check out some of what they had to say while watching. Just be warned, they’ve got very little knowledge about sports and lots of (possibly inappropriate) ill-informed opinions. Also, they’re vehemently against the Chinese women’s gymnastics team winning any medals.


Men’s Volleyball: U.S. vs. Bulgaria

Bobby Hankinson: is it appropriate to throw around the term “kill” during this match considering what happened to the coach?

Therese Odell: RIGHT? I was just about to ask if this was the team

Therese Odell: I had thought nothing could be more boring than beach volleyball. I was wrong.

Bobby Hankinson: DID THEY JUST SAY ‘SHANK PASS’?!!!

Therese Odell: SHANK SHANK SHANK Maybe they read Tubular

Bobby Hankinson: this is terribly, terribly in appropriate considering the COACH WAS ATTACKED BY A KNIFE-WIELDING CRAZY

Bobby Hankinson: “Well, Bob, Bulgaria is playing a particularly stabby game this evening.”

Therese Odell: What an amazing foreign tourist attack block! The Bulgarians are so passionate, it’s like they want to kill the American team’s family. With a knife. That was the announcer… not me.

Bobby Hankinson: of course.

Therese Odell: Nice kill out of the back row. FOR REAL?

Bobby Hankinson: SEE?!

Therese Odell: So much murdery language! KILLED THAT TIME SRSLY

Bobby Hankinson: I like the player named “ball.” I wonder if his first name is “volley”

Bobby Hankinson: So much tush patting!

Bobby Hankinson: DId you see that double-tush pat? the US team gets the gold in tush-patting

Therese Odell: When does this stop? Ever? SO DONE WITH THE VOLLEYBALL

Bobby Hankinson: I AGREE.

Therese Odell: True story: I kinda hate Mary Lou Retton. But that might put me on the Terrorist List, so don’t tell anyone

Beach volleyball: U.S. vs. Belgium

Bobby Hankinson: yay! it’s over! oh crud, but beach volleyball is next

Therese Odell: What? You don’t enjoy watching barely dressed women cavorting in the sand? So unlike you!

Bobby Hankinson: Right? Unless it’s an America’s Next Top Model shoot on the beach, not. interested.

Therese Odell:Bob’s gotta cut it out with the hair dye.

Bobby Hankinson: ZOMG. no more volleyball. please.

Bobby Hankinson: i want to know more about this kinesiology tape

Therese Odell: right?

Bobby Hankinson: http://www.kinesiotape.ca/whatitdoes.htm

Therese Odell: sounds like quackery to me.

Therese Odell: Are there beaches in Belgium? (Therese shows her considerable lack of geography.)

Bobby Hankinson: hmmm. yes there is

Therese Odell: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Location_Belgium_EU_Europe.png

Therese Odell: but not many

Bobby Hankinson: http://www.worldatlas.com/webimage/countrys/europe/be.htm

Bobby Hankinson: it’s sort of on the north sea

Therese Odell: The Belgians? Don’t fill out their suits as nicely as our girls

Bobby Hankinson: Yeah. We have the volleyball hotties

Bobby Hankinson: Who is doing this soundtrack?

Therese Odell: RIGHT?

Bobby Hankinson: It’s like Xtina, Gwen Stefani … Ryan Adams. who is in charge here?

Therese Odell: Bon Jovi? Really?

Bobby Hankinson: RIGHT? what is the plan? what is the direction?

Therese Odell: BRUCE?

Bobby Hankinson: see? there’s less kills and shanking here

Therese Odell: RIGHT?

Bobby Hankinson: i swear, they did it on purpose with the menz

Therese Odell: YAY The Belgians? Don’t even seem to be trying any more. Sad Belgians. ☹

Bobby Hankinson: they weren’t even supposed to be in. they were the “lucky losers” which i think is like the wildcard

Bobby Hankinson: CYNDI LAUPER?! SERIOUSLY. SAMANTHA RONSON. COOL IT.

Men’s 50m freestyle

Bobby Hankinson: Time for the 50m freestyle

Therese Odell: !!

Bobby Hankinson: or, as they call it, the “splash and dash” … which i always thought meant something else entirely

Therese Odell: What they called my wedding night. ZING!

Men’s 200m backstroke

Bobby Hankinson: Here comes the 200m Backstroke and hottie hottie hot hot Lochte

Therese Odell: YESS

Bobby Hankinson: Peirsol is the least hot swimmer up there.

Therese Odell: Well, I gotta say I prefer him to Phelps (GASP!)

Bobby Hankinson: Phelps has such a hawt body. it’s the butterface.

Therese Odell: WORD

Bobby Hankinson: GO LOCHTE!

Therese Odell: LOCHTE!!!

Bobby Hankinson: HE GETS THE GOLD and that hottie VYATCHANIN gets bronze. Peirsol gets silver. that all seems fair.

Therese Odell: Hottest gold medal ceremony ever? Maybe.

Women’s 200m backstroke

Therese Odell: the Zimbabwe swimmer. I was wondering about her accent

Therese Odell: CRYING. I AM CRYING NOW

Bobby Hankinson: she’s swimming not only for herself, but for Zimbabwe

Therese Odell: CYNIC.

Bobby Hankinson: ZIMBABWE WINS!

Therese Odell: YAY!

Men’s 200m IM

Therese Odell: FANCY GRAPHICS

Bobby Hankinson: WHOA MICHAEL PHELPS’ CROTCH

Bobby Hankinson: legs of a man who’s 6’0″, a torso for a guy that’s 6’8″? that’s crazy

Therese Odell: and hot

Bobby Hankinson: YES

Therese Odell: as long as he doesn’t smile

Bobby Hankinson: EXACTLY

Therese Odell: Is the Canadian named Beavers as some sort of joke?

Therese Odell: LOOK HOW FAR AHEAD HE IS

Bobby Hankinson: GO PHELPS!

Therese Odell: GO PHELPS!!!!

Bobby Hankinson: OMG HE’S KILLING THEM

Therese Odell: YAYAYAYAYAYAY

Bobby Hankinson: YAYAYAYA and lochte got the bronze. good for him, too

Bobby Hankinson: I WANT THAT JOB. massaging michael phelps

Women’s individual all-around

Therese Odell: You know what? Michael Phelps CAN’T do women’s gymnastics!

Therese Odell: WHAT

Therese Odell: A

Therese Odell: GOOD

Therese Odell: POINT!

Therese Odell: way to tie Phelps into gymnastics!

Bobby Hankinson: Also? how come ShawnJohn and Ms. Nastia (If You’re Nasty) are favored in this, but not in the team competition? Are people that hard on Alicia Sacramone?

Therese Odell: Yes.

Therese Odell: Yes they are.

Bobby Hankinson: EASY ON THE GLITTER LITTLE CHINESE GIRL

Therese Odell: 12-year-olds should have a glitter limit

Bobby Hankinson: THEY ARE SO HARD ON THE AMERICANS

Therese Odell: HATE

Bobby Hankinson: nastia was robbed

Bobby Hankinson: CHINESE GIRL FELL! HAH!

Bobby Hankinson: thats terrible, i know

Bobby Hankinson: she’s only like 9 years old

Bobby Hankinson: AWESOME DISMOUNT SHAWNJOHN

Therese Odell: W00T

Bobby Hankinson: WHAT

Therese Odell: LIES

Bobby Hankinson: 15.275 for ShawnJohn’s bars!

Bobby Hankinson: UNBELIEVABLE

Bobby Hankinson: OUTRAGE

Therese Odell: OUT.

Therese Odell: RAGE.

Bobby Hankinson: um, everything looks light on the chinese routines, they all look like “little kids playing on the playground” BECAUSE THEY ARE JUST LITTLE KIDS

Therese Odell: THEY’RE 8

Bobby Hankinson: I’M SO FURIOUS RIGHT NOW

Therese Odell: Nastia? With the MansonLamps?

Therese Odell: LORD

Therese Odell: INTENSE

Therese Odell: NOT

Therese Odell: KIDDING

Therese Odell: Stupid 6-year-old Chinese

Bobby Hankinson: that was riddled with balance checks

Bobby Hankinson: RIDDLED.

Bobby Hankinson: WHAT

Bobby Hankinson: WHAT

Bobby Hankinson: WHAT

Bobby Hankinson: WHAT

Bobby Hankinson: that chinese routine got a what now?

Bobby Hankinson: what was that score?

Bobby Hankinson: i want to make sure i’m not crazy

Bobby Hankinson: what numbers did you see?

Bobby Hankinson: did you faint

Bobby Hankinson: out of surprise and disgust?

Therese Odell: rewinding

Therese Odell: hang on

Therese Odell: 15.425??

Therese Odell: WHAT?

Bobby Hankinson: exactly

Therese Odell: POOR SHAWNJOHN

Bobby Hankinson: YANG IS NOT ALL THAT

Bobby Hankinson: 15.75???? FOR ALL THOSE BALANCE CHECKS?

Bobby Hankinson: STUCK IT

Bobby Hankinson: MS. NASTIA STUCK IT

Bobby Hankinson: GET OFF THE PHONE JUDGE LADY

Bobby Hankinson: GET OFF THE PHONE

Bobby Hankinson: OFF. NOW.

Therese Odell: YOU KNOW THAT WAS GOOD

Therese Odell: NASTIA ALL THE WAY

Bobby Hankinson: Bela just said “SHE CAN DO IT!” re: ShawnJohn. Is that good luck?

Therese Odell: You just know they’ll figure out a way to give it to China in the end…

Bobby Hankinson: boooooo I HATE JANG’S FLOOR ROUTINE

Therese Odell: HAAATE

Therese Odell: I hate those fakey little poses amd smiles

Bobby Hankinson: this woman commentating is FED UP with the super-high chinese scores. AMEN SISTER.

Bobby Hankinson: thats right, Jiang, 14 points

Bobby Hankinson: that’s right. you take it. take those 14 points.

Bobby Hankinson: WHAT YOU GONNA SMILE ABOUT NOW?!

Therese Odell: TAKE IT ALL.

Bobby Hankinson: Dang, Yang was pretty good. 15.0

Therese Odell: COME ON NASTIA

Bobby Hankinson: GO NASTIA!

Bobby Hankinson: not loving how nastia’s dad tells her the only color he accepts is gold. enough out of you Papa Archuleta

Bobby Hankinson: Nastia’s 15.525 seems a little low

Therese Odell: HATE THIS NEW SYSTEM

Bobby Hankinson: me too

Therese Odell: GO ON SHAWNJOHN

Bobby Hankinson: WOOOHOOOOOO!!!!

Therese Odell: SO AMAZING

Bobby Hankinson: crying

Therese Odell: PLANO REPRESENT

Bobby Hankinson: yay! Nastia! congrats ShawnJohn!

Therese Odell: YAY BELA! AWESOME! MORE WATCHING BELA! I want to watch Bela watch all the events!

Bobby Hankinson: right?

Bobby Hankinson: what do these people do when their career peaks at 16?

Therese Odell: Drink and cry

Bobby Hankinson: no, that’s what WE do

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.