HOLY FUCK, did you see snowboarder Red Gerard win Team USA’s first Gold?

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The Rio Olympics: Crossing the finish line

Look, we’re all adults here. I can be honest with you, right? So here’s the thing: I didn’t watch the Olympics live on Friday because OH MY GOD I AM SO SICK OF THE OLYMPICS ALREADY SOMEONE FETCH ME A FROZEN MARGARITA IMMEDIATELY. Continue reading “The Rio Olympics: Crossing the finish line”

The Rio Olympics: And then Ryan Lochte happened.

Oh, we will get to gold-medalist in douche-baggery Ryan Lochte’s shenanigans in a moment, trust. But first! After ELEVEN (11!) long days and nights of Olympic coverage, NBC finally unlocked the closet door they had shoved her behind and allowed Mary Carillo to do what she does best: a tangentially-related cultural tape piece! MARY CARILLO IS FREE! PRAISE TO THE HIGH RIO OLYMPIC MASCOT VINICIUS, OUR PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED AT LONG LAST!

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The Rio Olympics: In which I call bullshit on some bullshit

DAY 10: NO MARY CARILLO.

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