Obviously, the big TV news of the day are the Golden Globe Awards, and the all-black dresses; and the Time’s Up; and the Natalie Portman, Frances McDormand and Barbara Streisand being all, “AND FUCK YOU, TOO”; and, obviously, Oprah launching her 2020 Presidential campaign.
Best Drama: The Handmaid’s Tale
Best Actress, Drama: Elisabeth Moss
Best Actor, Drama: Sterling Brown (who made history as the first Black actor to win this category)
Best Comedy: The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
Best Actress, Comedy: Rachel Brosnahan
Best Actor, Comedy: Aziz Ansari
Best Limited Series: Big Little Lies
Best Actress, Limited Series: Nicole Kidman
Best Actor, Limited Series: Ewan McGregor
Best Supporting Actress, Limited Series: Laura Dern
Best Supporting Actor, Limited Series: Alexander Skarsgård
I would ask why it is that only Limited Series are worthy of Supporting Actor categories if I cared about this meangingless awards ceremony whose winners are chosen by complete randos, but I don’t, so we’ll just leave it at that.
Here is Seth Meyer’s monologue which was sharp, funny and managed to handle Harvey Weinstein with exactly the amount of respect he deserves. (Still, what I would have given to see Tina and Amy handle this mess…)
And Oprah’s big speech which, if he had any self-awareness at all, would have President Dingus stress-eating a mountain of McDonald’s cheeseburgers in his bathrobe right about now. Here is the transcript if you’d rather read it.
(But, not to be a wet blanket, but it will depress the hell out of me about what it says about the state of our country and our collective desire for a cult of personality over actual governance if Oprah decides to run for President. I like Oprah, Oprah is obviously wildly more competent, intelligent and empathetic than what we have in office now and could only do a better job. But, she’s also still the person who gave the world that quack Dr. Oz and pushed that quasi cult “The Secret” bullshit which reassured wealthy people that they got where they are in life because they wanted it more. On the other hand, maybe her “FREESTYLE TACO FIESTAS!” could be the taco trucks on every corner that we were once promised … )
Oh, and way to mess up Frances McDormand’s amazing speech, Golden Globe dummies. Way to go.
The other thing going on in television this and last week are the Television Critics’ Association meetings. The CW, CBS, FX and Showtime held theirs this past weekend and broke a little news (check below for return dates and some trailers in the links):
CBS isn’t admitting it just yet, but season 12 will probably be the final season of The Big Bang Theory.
The new Alan Cumming series, Instinct, will be the first hourlong series on broadcast TV with a gay lead character. Well, look at you, CBS! Oh, and Naveen Andrews is in the cast! Which I did not know until now!
The producers of CBS’ upcoming Living Biblically are all defensive about the show and the potential for offending. And they aren’t going anywhere near homosexuality in the first season. I’ve read the book this series is based on and it will be interesting to see how they pull this off.
Stephen Colbert welcomes a lawsuit over The Colbert Report version of himself. But interestingly, he is relieved to not be doing The Colbert Report in the era of Trump: “He’s such a poorly-informed, self-important idiot, that it would be very hard for me to leapfrog him”
CBS All-Access is now offering a more expensive reduced-ad version. In case you wanted to pay more for CBS and STILL HAVE ADS.
Fans don’t need to worry about Supergirl even though it will be put on hiatus for 9 weeks in Feburary. Or that’s what they want you to think.
The CW’s new dramedy, Life Sentence, is being accused by critics of “making cancer [look] really pretty.” Which, to be fair, is a criticism I’ve never come across about a show before.
FX’s president John Landgraf has long served as the Town Crier about Peak TV, and hey, guess what, there were even more scripted shows last year: 487 up from 455 in 2016.
Do not call the second season of Atlanta season 2: call it Atlanta Robbin‘. From Steven Glover: “Robbin’ season is the time before Christmas in Atlanta where there’s more criminal activity than normal because it’s about to be Christmas time, it’s the end of the year, there are a lot of people with gifts, there’s a lot of robberies going on because people have nice stuff at the time or trying to make money for Christmas or during that end of the year period, kind of like a vibe in Atlanta during that time.” Also, this season is inspired by Tiny Toons. So.
American Horror Story 8 is going to take place in the future, and it won’t be the much-anticipated Coven/Murder House crossover, boo.
Ryan Murphy talked a lot about Pose, and what an emotional experience it was to cast the largest transgender cast on television.
The final season of The Americans will be “satisfying” according to the creators. Which, of course, is what every creator of every show says about every final season.
FX’s new series Trust is the same story as the current movie All the Money in the World (the one where they replaced Kevin Spacey with Christopher Plummer) but they promise it will be different. Somehow.
Meanwhile, everyone at Fox SWEARS it will be “business as usual” if a Fox/Disney merger happens. They don’t sound convinced, however.
Homeland is not officially over after this season which will beg comparisons to current Presidents who might be super-isolated and fighting “the Deep State.” But it might be.
There could be more Twin Peaks, maybe, who knows. Not anytime soon, though.
Stephen Colbert joked that Michael Wolff stole his Fire & Fury material from the upcoming animated series Our Cartoon President.
In non-TCA news
Backstage at the Golden Globes, the creator of The Handmaid’s Tale revealed that it will journey to the colonies.
This is a nice piece in Variety about how Lady Dynamite, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and You’re the Worst, among many others, are telling honest stories about mental health issues. For a show that is as misnathropic as they come, You’re the Worst, in particular, has handled mental illness with accuse sensitivity.
Cable News News
Sad: Trump has delayed his “Fake News Awards” until Wednesday due unaticipated “interest.” Or because the college football championship is on tonight, but whatever.
But a former White House Ethics Czar warns White House employees that they could be breaking the law participating in such nonsense:
Jake Tapper had Stephen Miller on his show yesterday morning and when Miller refused to answer his questions in favor of slobbering over Trump and attacking CNN, Tapper kicked him off the show saying that he was performing for an audience of one and had wasted enough of his viewers’ time. It was amazing. Stephen Miller was escorted off the property by security, no less. The entire interview is below, but it’s the last two minutes where it gets fun:
Of course, Troog and Miller are declaring this a win for their side. OK.
I’m sure you have heard by now about the “Gorilla Channel” fake Trump story? If not, a Twitter user posted the following hilarious story that was supposedly in the Michael Wolff book Fire & Fury:
Anyway, a bunch of dumb media types thought it was for real and then it became a whole thing about whom it said more about: the media for being stupid or Trump for it being entirely plausible.
Anyway, Netflix chimed in:
Speaking of Michael Wolff, even Tucker Carlson and Bill O’Reilly think Trump suing him would be a Bad Idea.
The Assault Report
Here is a collection of all the sexual harassment references from last night’s Golden Globes.
As you might have noticed, almost every woman at the Golden Globes wore black in solidarity with the #MeToo/Time’s Up movement. Notably wearing bright colors was the HFPA president, who explained that in her Indian culture, they wear festive colors to mark a celebration.
Last night, Alley Sheedy tweeted: “James Franco just won. Please never ask me why I left the TV/film business.” And, “Why is a man hosting? Why is James Franco allowed in? Said too much. Nite love ya. #goldenglobes” before deleting the tweets. Sheedy worked with Franco on a play in 2014. 👀
Debra Messing and Eva Longoria told E! to their faces that they suck on gender pay equity during the Golden Globe red carpet last night.
Because Ann Curry is right: none of this bullshit will change until the glass ceiling is finally broken.
The CW hasn’t fired Robert Knepper, but they aren’t promising to keep him around, either.
ESPN has cut ties with Donovan McNabb after sexual harassment allegations.
There is a weird thing going on with Paul Haggis, who has been accused by three women of sexual assualt. It is entirely possible that he is as guilty as anyone. However, it is also important to note that he is a former Scientologist — one whose break with the “church” led to the Lawrence Wright expose, Going Clear, which in turn led to a number of famous Scientologists, including Leah Remini, to leave the organization. Scientology has its own sexual assault problem on its hands with one of its remaining celebrity members, Danny Masterson, so it is not impossible — or even improbable — that they would use their wealth of dirty tricks to try to turn the tables on one of its most notable and dangerous critics. In fact, Scientology has been using videos of Haggis’ dead sister against him in their attempt to destroy him over this issue. This then led to Kirstie Alley lashing out at a journalist (Yashar Ali who broke the Miss America story among others) who questioned Scientology’s ties to the Haggis story.
- Young Sheldon has officially been renewed in the biggest “No duh” of the season.
- The Gong Show has, somehow, been renewed. And guess what: Mike Meyers was host the entire time. GASP! SHOCK! SURPRISE!
- Floribama Shore has been renewed by MTV.
- For the 1,000th time: Good Girls Revolt is really for real canceled.
- This isn’t good news for the show: Dynasty has been moved to Friday nights on The CW. On the one hand: Jane the Virgin and Crazy Ex-Girlfriend are Friday night shows and are unlikely to be cancelled. On the other hand, Jane the Virgin and Crazy Ex-Girlfriend are Friday night shows and are unlikely to be cancelled.
- Flight of the Concords might be returning!!!! Jemaine Clement has confirmed that they are filming an HBO special, and a U.S. What We Do in the Shadows series is in the works.
- After months and months of strum und drang, Mayans MC is officially a go at FX.
- Showtime has bought XY Chelsea, a documentary about Chelsea Manning. They intend to release it theaterically first, before rolling it out on cable and streaming.
- Apple has picked up Home, its first docuseries.
- Don’t worry: Steven Spielberg is still working on a Halo series that I had no idea he was working on.
- Kiernan Shipka is your new Sabrina the Teenage Witch.
- Rosario Dawson will do an arc on Jane the Virgin.
- Anabella Sciorra is joining GLOW.
- Sara Bareilles will be your Mary Magdalene.
- Helena Bonham Carter is all but confirmed to join The Crown as Princess Margaret.
- Jenna Coleman has been cast n BBC drama The Cry.
- Jack Reynor will star in Strange Angel on CBS All Access.
- Navid Negahban will join Legion.
- UGH. Gillian Anderson isn’t returning to American Gods despite being one of the best things about the series. BOO. HISS.
- Ryan Murphy explains that Tatiana Malsany was recast in Pose because she was too young for the role. Fair.
Mark Your Calendar
- Black Lightning will debut on January 16.
- iZombie returns on February 26.
- Life Sentence premieres on March 7.
- The Originals premieres on April 20.
- The 100 returns on April 24.
- Billions returns on March 25.
- I’m Dying Up Here premieres on May 6.
- The Affair returns on June 17.
- Homeland returns on February 11.
- Our Cartoon President will debut on February 11.
- The Fourth Estate will air on May 27.
- Atlanta will return on March 11.
- The Americans returns on March 28.
- Trust will debut on March 25.
- Fargo will (probably) return sometime in 2019.
- Grey’s Anatomy returns on March 22.
- Scandal returns on March 29.
- Quantico returns on April 26.
- The Crossing will debut on April 2.
- For the People debuts on March 13.
- Splitting up Together and Roseanne debut on March 27.
- Alex, Inc. debuts on March 28.
- Bachelor Winter Games will debut on February 13, saints preserve me.
- My Next Guest Needs No Introduction with David Letterman will premiere on January 12 (and President Obama will be his first guest).
- Zombies will air on the Disney Channel on February 16.
- Citizen Rose will debut on E! on January 30.
- The Number on Great-Grandpa’s Arm will air on HBO on January 27.
- Hallmark announced three new movies: Last Scene Alive: An Aurora Teagarden Mystery
Read on January 7; Past Malice: An Emma Fielding Mystery on January 14; Morning Show Mystery: Mortal Mishaps on January 21.
- Supercar Superbuild returns on Smithsonian on January 21.
Jerry Van Dyke, Actor and brother of Dick Van Dyke
Billy Harbach, First Produer of The Tonight Show
The Bachelor: Demolition derby antics. Send help. (Or wine.) 7 p.m., ABC
David Bowie: The Last Five Years: A look into the icon’s final projects, The Next Day, Blackstar and the musical Lazarus. Premiere. 7 p.m., HBO
Late Night: Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Taraji Henson, Michael Che, Sofi Tukker The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Liam Neeson, Michael Wolff, Andra Day & Common The Late Late Show with James Corden: Connie Britton, Bradley Whitford, Jamie Bell, Cirque du Soleil LUZIA Jimmy Kimmel Live: Meryl Streep, Jason Ritter, Blake Shelton The Daily Show: Ashley Graham The Opposition with Jordan Klepper : Ty Segall Watch What Happens Live: S.E. Cupp, Scheana Marie
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