Why are emus?
@bigbirdlittlebirdfarm Iris’s trick to being a professional dancer is putting her neck into it 💃 #farm #emus #homestead #birds #funny
Here’s A BUNCH OF TV News
ABC is asking the FCC to cut it out with their nonsense; FCC is unlikely to agree.
Donna Mills is going OnlyFans, AND WHY NOT.
Wait, Deidra Hall has never won a Daytime Emmy? WAIT, DEIDRA HALL HAS ONLY BEEN NOMINATED THREE TIMES?
After running FIFA for ten deeply corrupt years, Gianni Infantino might have finally gone too far, and, genuinely, I love this for him.
The jokes just write themselves. Unfortunately.
Some questions: Genuinely, what level of hell is “RFK Jr. Cooking Show”? Why does a man who admits to contracting BRAIN WORMS from eating questionable food, and is obsessed with eating ROADKILL think HE SHOULD TELL ANYONE ELSE HOW TO EAT?
~takes a deep breath~
On the other hand … to steal a joke from Jon Stewart last week regarding President Flopper bombing at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner: “Normally I‘d say don’t quit your day job but in this case … I will make an exception.”
Donna Martin is ditching Kelly. But Kelly is taking it in the most Kelly way:
“I’m sad that she’s not finishing this out with us. We started this together, and I’m sad about that, if I’m being honest, which, I always am. But I’m also A), really excited for the podcast to come into 9 and 10 because I know we have a lot of great stuff in store… And also B), I’m really happy for her. I’m really excited for her to choose herself.”
Patricia Heaton remains the worst.
And Max Weinberg, Conan’s former drummer? THE WORST.
Cool it with the “Glee Curse” nonsense; it’s gross and insensitive. That said, NO MORE GLEE, RYAN MURPHY.
Cancellations
- Wonder Man has been canceled after one season on Disney+. (Damn. They couldn’t wait until after the Emmys — where Yahya Abdul-Mateen II is nominated for Lead Actor in a Comedy?)
In Development
- Clueless is being adapted into a TV series on Paramount+, and Alicia Silverstone will reprise her role as Cher Horowitz.
- Alan Opts Out is being adapted into a comedy produced by Bill Lawrence and Emily Kapnek at HBO.
- Avedon has been acquired by Netflix.
- A movie about the explorer Ernest Shackleton is in the works at Netflix.
- American Experience on PBS has ordered Lindbergh from Ken Burns, and The Bureau: A Secret History of the FBI.
- Mike Darnell, who worked on reality series The Voice, The Bachelor, American Idol, MasterChef and So You Think You Can Dance, has struck a deal with Netflix to develop reality projects.
Casting News
- Natalie Zea is joining Memory of a Killer on Fox.
- Meghann Fahy will star in The Trial of Louise Woodward at HBO.
- Tony Romo is on leave at CBS Sports after his recent DUI arrest.
Mark Your Calendar
- The Shards debuts on FX on August 5.
- Leanne returns on Netflix on August 27.
- Earle Meets World will premiere on Netflix on September 4.
- Conversations with a Killer: The Charles Manson Tapes will premiere on Netflix on August 12.
- Love After Lockup: Relationship Rehab will return on We TV in October.
- A Beautiful Obsession will premiere on Prime Video on August 19.
R.I.P.
Angela Wales Kirgo, Longtime executive director of the Writers Guild Foundation
WATCH THIS
FRIDAY
Adults: A one-off special before the series returns for its second season next month, shows how the gang met. Premiere. FXX & Hulu
Fightland: A disgraced formerly incarcerated boxer returns to London to hunt down the crime syndicate he blames for destroying his life in this new series. Series premiere. Starz
Sharkzilla Takes New York: Radioactive sharks. I’m not kidding. 8 p.m., Discovery
SATURDAY
The Drama: A couple’s wedding plans go off the rails when a secret disrupts their happiness in this drama starring Zendaya and Robert Pattinson. Cable premiere. (Streams on HBO Max on Friday, the 31st) HBO
Killer Clown: A woman whose mother was murdered by a clown becomes the target of a copycat killer in this new Lifetime movie. Kudos to the Lifetime writers once again. 7 p.m., Lifetime
Untitled Home Invasion Romance: Jason Biggs stars as an actor who stages a home invasion in an attempt to save his marriage and yeah, this is just a collection of red flags. Girl, run. Premiere. Hulu
Great White Highway: Canada is attacked by Great Whites. Or, more accurately, there’s one Great White attack and all of Canada freaks out. 7 p.m., Discovery
SUNDAY
Lioness: Season three premiere. Paramount+
The Librarians: The Next Chapter: Season two premiere. 8 p.m., TNT
The Little Girl Who Didn’t Exist: Lifetime’s description: “When Mel tries to meet the parents of her daughter’s new playmate Sara, she finds that everyone claims the child doesn’t exist. But as evidence mounts that Sara is real, Mel becomes convinced that someone is hiding the girl to conceal a dark secret.” It is time once again to remind you of the most amazing (and yet somehow boring) Lifetime movie of all time: Invisible Child, in which Rita Wilson is a mother who believes she has a child named Maggie that no one else can see, but everyone around her, including her husband Victor Garber, just play along with it. Best. Lifetime. Movie. Ever. 7 p.m., Discovery
| FRI. | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 |
| ABC | Celebrity Jeopardy! (repeat) |
20/20 |
| CBS | Sheriff Country (repeat) |
Fire Country (repeat) |
Boston Blue (repeat) |
| CW | Penn & Teller: Fool Us (repeat) |
Totally Funny Animals (new) |
News/Local |
| FOX | MasterChef (repeat) |
Nation’s Dumbest (repeat) |
Local |
| NBC | America’s Got Talent (repeat) |
Dateline |
—
| SAT. | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 | 10:00 | 10:30 | 11:00 | 11:30 |
| ABC | The Rookie (repeat) |
The Rookie (repeat) |
The Rookie (repeat) |
News/Local |
| CBS | Harlan Coben’s Final Twist (repeat) |
48 Hours | 48 Hours | News/Local |
| FOX | MLB Baseball (live) |
News/Local |
| NBC | American Ninja Warrior (repeat) |
Dateline | News/ Local |
Saturday Night Live (repeat) |
—
| SUN. | 6:00 | 6:30 | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 |
| ABC | America’s Funniest Home Videos (new) |
Cocktail |
| CBS | 60 Minutes | Big Brother (new) |
Tracker (repeat) |
Marshals (repeat) |
| The CW | Police 24/7 (new) |
Just Go With It | Local/News |
| FOX | Kitchen Nightmares (repeat) |
The Simpsons (repeat) |
Animal Control (repeat) |
Universal Basic Guys (repeat) |
Grimsburg (repeat) |
Local/News |
| NBC | MLB Baseball (live) |