‘Ted Lasso,’ ‘The Shards,’ ‘The Last House’ and everything else you don’t want to miss on TV this week

MONDAY

Futurama: 14th season premiere. Hulu

The Great American Baking Show: Celebrity Summer: Four celebrities put their baking skills to the test in an all-new season. Season premiere. Roku

Judy Justice: Fourth season premiere. Prime Video

TUESDAY

Betrayal: More shitty husbands doing shitty things. Season premiere. Hulu

Wizards Beyond Waverly Place: The four-episode series finale. 7 p.m., Disney Channel, Disney+

WEDNESDAY

Ted Lasso: Ted is back in the U.K., and now it’s the ladies’ turn on the field. Season four premiere. Apple TV

The Shards: Richard Gere’s son and Cindy Crawford’s daughter star in this Ryan Murphy adaptation of a Bret Easton Ellis novel and all of that is perfect and terrible and this will also be terrible. But great. BUT TERRIBLE. Series premiere. FX

Sterling Point: A 17-year-old inherits an island in Canada where she makes new friends and uncovers family secrets, and I just don’t understand why I never inherit islands. Series premiere.  Prime Video

The Challenge: Cutthroat: So, there was some controversy in which Paramount took down this trailer from YouTube last week, and the contestants were freaking out that the show wasn’t going to air? But as of this writing on Saturday, the trailer appears to still be up, and I assume it will still premiere today. Season premiere. Paramount+

One Hundred Years of Solitude: Part two premiere. Netflix

Big Chicken: A Fast Food Conspiracy: It’s like Super Size Me, except that he only eats fried chicken for a month. Premiere. Netflix

Let’s Marry Harry: I’m not sure why anyone would want to marry this ding-dong, but sure. Series premiere. Netflix

How to Catch a Dirtbag: Social media star “Tizzy Ent” uses the rowd-sourcing powers of the internet to track down racists, misogynists, and other assholes to receive the public shaming they deserve, and now they’ve given him a whole TV show. Good. Series premiere. 9 p.m., Discovery Channel

THURSDAY

My Life with the Walter Boys: Season three premiere. Netflix

Monsters of God: A look into the weirdos involved in the underworld of exotic reptile smuggling. Premiere. 8 p.m., HBO

NFL Preseason Football: It begins. Panthers vs. Cardinals. 7 p.m., NBC

FRIDAY

The Last House: A mysterious force traps families in their homes for an indeterminate amount of time and then things get weird. (Are we ready for the pandemic metaphors yet, guys?) Premiere. Netflix

Anna Pigeon: A city slicker turns park ranger after the tragic death of her husband in this new drama series. Series premiere. 9 p.m., USA

Alley Cats: In this new animated comedy from Ricky Gervais, feral cats run amok. Series premiere. Netflix

Power Book III: Raising Kanan: Series finale. 7 p.m., Starz

SATURDAY

The Strangers: Chapter 2: Maya once again is harassed by these jackasses, in a sequel that took 18 years to make for some reason. Cable premiere. 7 p.m., HBO

The Blob: When this movie came out in 1958, it stood as a metaphor for Western societies’ fear of the unstoppable spread of Communism; others read it as a critique of post-war consumerism and materialism. Some enterprising filmmaker should remake it today re: MAGA. 7 p.m., TCM

SUNDAY

House of the Dragon: Season three finale. 8 p.m., HBO

Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip: Roaring 20th: These women have been bitching it up for TWENTY YEARS NOW. Keep it up, ladies. It never gets old. Season premiere. 8 p.m., Bravo

The Chosen in the Wild with Bear Grylls: Bear makes Jesus eat bugs and stuff. Series premiere. Prime Video

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