‘Game of Thrones’: The troops, the troops, the troops are on fire. We don’t need no water, let the motherfuckers burn. Burn, motherfuckers! Burn!

“Game of Thrones
“The Spoils of War”
August 6, 2017

DRACARYS, MOFOS!

Continue reading “‘Game of Thrones’: The troops, the troops, the troops are on fire. We don’t need no water, let the motherfuckers burn. Burn, motherfuckers! Burn!”

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‘Game of Thrones’: Poison is a woman’s weapon

Game of Thrones
“The Queen’s Justice”
July 30, 2017

In this very chatty episode, Jon and Daenerys finally meet and build up a lot of sexual tension and NEED TO JUST KISS ALREADY; Bran comes home and like every teenager that spends some time away from his family for the first time, thinks he knows everything; Sea Pacey becomes our new favorite character; everyone just flies around the entire continent like they’ve got Elon Musk’s hyperloop installed on Westeros and the writers failed to mention it to us; and The Queen of Thorns is given the greatest death scene that officially ends all death scenes. There should be no more death scenes for anyone ever. EAT IT, BITCHES.

Continue reading “‘Game of Thrones’: Poison is a woman’s weapon”

‘Game of Thrones’: A wolf in sheep’s clothing

Game of Thrones
“Dragonstone”
July 16, 2017

Dragons, giant ice zombies, mass murder, bedpan montages, the Hound calling people “cunts,” Ed Sheeran, Lil’ Lady Badass telling dumb men what’s what, Brimund … IT’S ALL HERE! GAME OF THRONES IS BACK, Y’ALL! BE EXCITED!

Continue reading “‘Game of Thrones’: A wolf in sheep’s clothing”

‘Game of Thrones’: The feminine mystique

Game of Thrones
“The Winds of Winter”
June 26, 2016

The season finale was filled with everything we expected: R+L = J; the North uniting; Arya giving Walder Frey exactly what he deserved; Sam going to the Citadel; Cersei having a final showdown with the Faith Militant; Tommen fulfilling Cersei’s prophecy; Daenerys on her way to Westeros to take it back once and for all; and winter has FINALLY come, amirite, Ned Stark? And something I don’t think anyone predicted — Cersei taking the Iron Throne for herself. Girl, I need one of those black leather dresses.
Continue reading “‘Game of Thrones’: The feminine mystique”

‘Game of Thrones:’ Face/Off

Game of Thrones
“No One”
June 12, 2016

And as fast as The Hound could massacre a group of bandits with nothing but an axe and a bone to pick, two popular fan theories are now dead. R.I.P. Fan Theories. It was fun while it lasted.
Continue reading “‘Game of Thrones:’ Face/Off”

‘Game of Thrones’: Through a glass darkly

Game of Thrones
“The Red Woman”
April 24, 2016

So, I guess I’m going to recap Game of Thrones, y’all? This isn’t an easy decision for me. I love this series, and have read all the books, but I’m no supernerd when it comes to the Known World of A Song of Ice and Fire. It’s part of the reason that I avoided recapping this series until now: we’ve finally come to a place where the series has outpaced the books, and I can’t be harangued for getting something wrong from the text, or misremembering something. Another reason, I love the series so much, I want to do it justice and bring something interesting to the loud conversation already taking place about it, but worry that I will disappoint. And the other reason I avoided it was that my dear friend and former Tubular colleague, Andrew Dansby, has a history with the book series, and I was hoping against hope that he would take up his blogging duties once more. Alas, like Sansa, I’m beginning to realize that there is no white knight out there to save me, and I’m just going to have to take care of myself.

Valar morghulis. Continue reading “‘Game of Thrones’: Through a glass darkly”