UPDATE on the UPDATE: THE ‘GAME OF THRONES’ TRAILER IS HERE OMG and I have a few thoughts. So let’s see if they’ll post this time.

YOU GUYS. I wrote a whole post about this trailer an hour ago, then left my house for a while and when I came back, I discovered that NOTHING I HAD WRITTEN WAS ON THE ACTUAL POST.

ME RIGHT NOW:

YOU ARE OFFICIALLY ON MY ARYA LIST, WORDPRESS.

I GUESS LET’S TRY THIS AGAIN.

The first thing that strikes me about the trailer is how much of it seems to involve The Battle of Winterfell — a cataclysmic fight between the White Walkers and the living (at least the living who are not aligned with Cersei) —  which is one of the very few elements of the season that the creators and HBO have been willing to discuss ahead of the premiere. In fact, just yesterday Entertainment Weekly ran a lengthy piece about the battle, claiming that it is “expected to be the longest consecutive battle sequence ever committed to film,” that “brings the largest number of GoT major characters together since the show’s debut episode in 2011.” The sequence took 11 weeks to film. 11 WEEKS, Y’ALL. 

Also joining this battle appears to be Jaime. Last we saw Jaime, he was leaving his pregnant sister/girlfriend Cersei, finally having had enough of her bullshit. In the trailer, we hear him explaining to someone that he made a promise to fight on the side of the living, and that he plans to uphold that promise.

So, if Jaime is up in the North with Team Jon, who’s this guy?

Excellent question! So, remember how when Jon and Daenerys and Cersei had their big conference in the dragon pit and Euron was all, “OH NO I’M A’SKEERED OF THE ZOMBIES AND AM GOING TO RUN AWAY NOW, BYE!” Yeah, Cersei later explained that he didn’t actually run away, but went to Essos to collect the Golden Company, a mercenary army of some 20,000 men. They are headed by one Harry Strickland, and here, they are presumably on their way to Cersei to help her fight whomever is left over after the Battle of Winterfell.

In good news, Tormund, Dondarrion and Edd survived the Wall collapsing on them.

In less good news, Arya seems … stressed.

As for Cersei, she’s feeling herself. GO AHEAD AND ENJOY THAT WINE WHILE YOU CAN, HUNTY, THE GOOD TIMES AIN’T GONNA LAST FOREVER:

As for the rest of the trailer, dragons fly around, Jon broods, and people look tense. You know, the Game of Thrones usual.

Characters we definitely see: Arya, Daenerys, Jon, Cersei, Jaime, Tyrion, Sansa, Bran, Brienne of Tarth, Davos Seaworth, Jorah, Qyburn, Tormund, Edd, Dondarrion, Grey Worm, Missandei, Samwell Tarly, Podrick Payne, Gendry, Varys, and The Hound.

Characters we do not see: Melisandre, Euron, Theon and Yara Greyjoy, the Mountain, and LADY GODDAMNED MORMONT.

One last note about the trailer: it appears to mostly (maybe entirely) be made up of scenes from the first half of the season. The running times of all six episodes (ONLY SIX EPISODES) made their way onto the internet last month, and POSSIBLE SPOILER: it led many to believe the Battle of Winterfell will probably take place in the third episode of the season. (The first two episodes are 60 minutes in length, the third episode clocks in at 80 minutes. This combined with the fact that the creators are so willing to talk about the Battle suggests that it does not serve as the conclusion of the series.) Also, ACTUAL SPOILER, SCROLL OVER TO READ: in the trailer, King’s Landing is unscathed when there have been set photos that suggest it will not remain that way which seems to point to the events in this trailer are taking place in the first three episodes. Which means, nothing in this trailer reveals anything about who finally wins the Iron Throne. For that we have to wait a couple more painful months.

Game of Thrones’ final 6-episode season will premiere on HBO on April 14, thank the old gods and the new.

 

 

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