Game of Thrones
“The Bells”
May 12, 2019
SCHEMING, BETRAYAL AND ATTEMPTED POISONINGS! REJECTIONS! ROMANTIC REUNIONS! THE LONG-AWAITED CLEAGANEBOWL! MAD QUEENS! DRACARYS! DRACARYS! DRACARYS! DRACARYS! DRACARYS! DRACARYS! DRACARYS! DRACARYS! DRACARYS! AND DID I MENTION DRACARYS!
Continue reading “‘Game of Thrones’: Hell’s Bells”
“Game of Thrones
“The Dragon and the Wolf”
August 27, 2017
Complicated family reunions! Secret weddings! Surprise assassinations! Wight shows! Sibling break-ups! Ice dragons! Aunt on nephew sexytimes! The Wall FINALLY coming down! ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?
“Game of Thrones
“Beyond the Wall”
August 20, 2017
New rules for killing wights! Witty banter! Out-of-control sibling rivalries! Blue-eyed ice dragons! Super-sonic ravens! Fabulous coats! Tons of eye-fucking! And more deus ex machinas than you can shake an ice spear at! Let’s go!
“Game of Thrones
“Eastwatch”
August 13, 2017
Daenerys teaches some Tarlys a lesson in manners; Littlefinger plays the sibling rivalry card; Tyrion comes up with a hare-brained scheme; Gendry is finally done with rowing, only to have to take a few more boat rides; Jon makes a new dragon friend; and Gilly reveals the biggest most hugest non-secret of the show, but no one listens to Gilly. ~womp-womp~
Continue reading “‘Game of Thrones’: How to tame your dragon.”
“Game of Thrones
“The Spoils of War”
August 6, 2017
DRACARYS, MOFOS!
Game of Thrones
“The Queen’s Justice”
July 30, 2017
In this very chatty episode, Jon and Daenerys finally meet and build up a lot of sexual tension and NEED TO JUST KISS ALREADY; Bran comes home and like every teenager that spends some time away from his family for the first time, thinks he knows everything; Sea Pacey becomes our new favorite character; everyone just flies around the entire continent like they’ve got Elon Musk’s hyperloop installed on Westeros and the writers failed to mention it to us; and The Queen of Thorns is given the greatest death scene that officially ends all death scenes. There should be no more death scenes for anyone ever. EAT IT, BITCHES.
Continue reading “‘Game of Thrones’: Poison is a woman’s weapon”
Game of Thrones
“Stormborn”
July 23, 2017
I would do a clever little intro here, but THERE’S NO TIME. LET’S GO.
Game of Thrones
“The Winds of Winter”
June 26, 2016
The season finale was filled with everything we expected: R+L = J; the North uniting; Arya giving Walder Frey exactly what he deserved; Sam going to the Citadel; Cersei having a final showdown with the Faith Militant; Tommen fulfilling Cersei’s prophecy; Daenerys on her way to Westeros to take it back once and for all; and winter has FINALLY come, amirite, Ned Stark? And something I don’t think anyone predicted — Cersei taking the Iron Throne for herself. Girl, I need one of those black leather dresses.
Continue reading “‘Game of Thrones’: The feminine mystique”