‘The Real Housewives of New York City’: Giving credit where (producing) credit is due.

The Real Housewives of New York
Reunion, Part 3
September 14, 2016

We begin the third and final part of the reunion with a montage about Sonja and how all those other bitches excluded her time and time again this season for no good reason. Oh, does Sonja drink too much and does she sometimes forget to put on underwear and does she try to claim that she’s a burlesque performer and does she maybe sleep with 23-year-olds?

YOU KNOW WHAT? GOOD FOR HER. Continue reading “‘The Real Housewives of New York City’: Giving credit where (producing) credit is due.”

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‘The Real Housewives of New York City’: Run the Jules

The Real Housewives of New York
Reunion, Part 2
September 7, 2016

We begin the second half of the reunion with an update on Bethenny’s health: the surgery she should have gotten in the first place went well and she’s perfectly great you guys, no more gushing blood from her lady parts and passing out in Bed Bath and Beyonds, it’s all good.  Continue reading “‘The Real Housewives of New York City’: Run the Jules”

‘The Real Housewives of New York City’: Close your legs to married men

The Real Housewives of New York
Reunion, Part 1
August 31, 2016

It’s reunion time again, darlings: that magical end of any Real Housewives‘ season, where after pouring pre-show champagne down their gullets, Andy Cohen herds all the ladies into a room full of couches and well-Vaselined cameras, and begins the ritual Picking at the Scabs. Make sure you’ve got extra security, a clear path from which to dramatically stomp from the couch, some tequila, and put Dorinda’s birthday cake away, and let’s get started.  Continue reading “‘The Real Housewives of New York City’: Close your legs to married men”

‘The Real Housewives of New York City’: Pandora’s piñata

The Real Housewives of New York
“Say it Ain’t So”
August 24, 2016

And so it is we’ve come to the end of another season of The Real Housewives of New York City. We are all a little older, a little wiser, and a little more humiliated thanks to some bald dirt bag who has a fixation on reality television stars of a certain age.

Continue reading “‘The Real Housewives of New York City’: Pandora’s piñata”

‘The Real Housewives of New York City’: C’est la vie

The Real Housewives of New York
“Tomfoolery”
August 17, 2016

Last we left the ladies, everyone had finally arrived in Miami and Bethenny had just shared with Ramona and Princess Carole the fact that she was sitting on some incriminating information on Fiance Tom: namely a series of photos of him performing an extensive oral exam upon a former Playmate at a hotel bar the night before his engagement party to The Countess. Continue reading “‘The Real Housewives of New York City’: C’est la vie”

‘The Real Housewives of New York’ smell like grapefruit

The Real Housewives of New York

Full disclosure: the move from Tubular to Foolish Watcher took place after I had come back from a two-week trip but before the time suck that is the Summer Olympics happened and one of a few things that didn’t quite get packed up were the two episodes of The Real Housewives of New York that I missed while I was lying on a beach, drinking silly cocktails, trying to forget that Sonja Morgan’s vaginoplasty ever happened. Because there are only two more new episodes before an endless round of reunion screaming commences, I decided to just summarize the two episodes I happened to miss, and recap the most recent episode.

Please forgive, and I promise that if someone texts me pictures of your fiance making out with a former Playmate, I will forward them to you directly instead of just talking about it on camera for all the world to hear.  Continue reading “‘The Real Housewives of New York’ smell like grapefruit”

‘The Real Housewives of New York City’: Further engagements

The Real Housewives of New York City
“All Bets Are Off”
July 13, 2016

Continue reading “‘The Real Housewives of New York City’: Further engagements”