Month: August 2016

The Rio Olympics: Gold, Girls and Grindr

by Bobby Hankinson, posted in Uncategorized

Sorry for missing the last few days of blogging, y’all. I’ve just been so busy booting up Grindr and hunting down dates with journalists. (Just kidding! Journalists can’t afford dates!) Look, people, the first rule of Grindr is we don’t talk about Grindr, specifically whom we see on Grindr. The second rule is NO STRAIGHTIES ALLOWED. I don’t show up at your fantasy football party and tell everyone which Facts of Life actress you’re all jerking off to together, or whatever the fuck you people do there. Leave our sexy, horny Olympic hotties to get theirs.

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The Rio Olympics: Who knew there even was this much beach volleyball?

by Therese Odell, posted in Uncategorized

It’s Day Five of the Olympic events, and Day Three of me of me blogging Olympic events.
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The Rio Olympics: Golds for everyone, surprises for none

by Therese Odell, posted in Uncategorized

Despite what the TV guides and NBC themselves promised, there would only be two sports in last night’s coverage: women’s gymnastics team finals and a whole bunch of swimming. Like men’s gymnastics team finals the night before, women’s 10m synchronized platform diving would not have its moment of primetime glory, despite being included in all of the listings. Continue reading “The Rio Olympics: Golds for everyone, surprises for none” →

The Rio Olympics: Oh, you wanted to see men’s team gymnastics? TOO BAD. SO SAD.

by Therese Odell, posted in Uncategorized

Hey, let’s check or TV listings to see which events we’ll be covering in primetime tonight (last night), shall we?

men's gymnatics

A bunch of swimming, some men’s synchronized diving, women’s beach volleyball and men’s team gymnastics finals? Cool! I am very excited about men’s gymnastics team finals! I sure hope we get to see all of that event! Can’t wait to see me some men’s gymnastics!  Continue reading “The Rio Olympics: Oh, you wanted to see men’s team gymnastics? TOO BAD. SO SAD.” →

‘Bachelor in Paradise’: Hunker down

by Therese Odell, posted in bachelor in paradise, bachelor in paradise: season 3

Bachelor in Paradise
August 2, 2016

Now that Bachelor Ben has “found love” with some stewardess, whatever her name was, Lori? Lulu? Loni? Who cares? and Jojo the Unicorn is “engaged” to some NFL player’s less talented younger brother, it’s time to throw a decontamination tent over the Bachelor McMansion and take the rejects down to Mexico to get drunk and exchange bodily fluids.

Three hours a week of this, you guys. And that’s not counting a fourth hour of “After Paradise” nonsense that I am definitely not watching. You can’t make me.

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The Rio Olympics: Gymnasts Hit the Floor

by Bobby Hankinson, posted in Uncategorized

Wow! I can’t believe we’re here!

Embed from Getty Images
Not just here, in Rio, a city founded by giant steampunk spider monsters (according to the opening ceremonies interpretive dance medley), but also HERE on Foolish Watcher, a spiffy new television destination. Also founded by giant steampunk spider monsters. True facts!
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The Rio Olympics: In which emotional abuse proves to be an effective coaching method and a vault apparatus just proves to be abusive

by Therese Odell, posted in Uncategorized

Just as a reminder about how this works: Bobby and I don’t actually care all that much about all of the Olympics, just the parts of the Olympics that NBC tells us to care about by airing them during the precious prime time hours. We’re just here for the sob stories and the pretty athletes and the pre-taped packages about Brazilian bikini waxes and caipirinhas.

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The 2016 Rio Olympics: Welcome to the literal shitshow!

by Therese Odell, posted in Uncategorized

Believe it or not, it’s been two years since Russia hosted the Disaster Olympics with its broken hotels and stray dogs and people killing stray dogs and trucked-in snow and protests and the worry of terrorists and terrifying giant crying robot bears, which means that it’s time for a whole new round of Olympic Games in a brand new completely unprepared location: Rio de Janeiro.

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‘The Bachelorette’ chooses the guy who is definitely going to break her heart

by Therese Odell, posted in the bachelorette: season 12

The Bachelorette
August 1, 2016

Continue reading “‘The Bachelorette’ chooses the guy who is definitely going to break her heart” →