The Real Housewives of New Jersey
“Spa-Cation”
August 28, 2016
To celebrate Teresa cutting off her ankle monitor — but really, in an attempt to force Teresa and Jacqueline to try to work things out — all five ladies head to some spa out in the woods together for the weekend. And if you, like me, were hoping this trip would be interesting, you’re out of luck. It’s not. Oh my God, it’s not.
Continue reading “‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’: Is there a spa treatment for boredom?”
The Real Housewives of New Jersey
“Swimming with Gefilte Fishes”
August 21, 2016
Ugh. Dolores. Does anyone actually care about Dolores? SHOW OF HANDS: Who cares about Dolores? Continue reading “‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’: Famiglia time”
The Real Housewives of New Jersey
“Dinner Interrupted”
August 14, 2016
For an episode billed as A GRANDE FIGHT BETWEEN TERESA AND JACQUELINE, I can not begin to stress how much of this episode is actually devoted to Melissa’s kids being in a dumb fashion show, yous guys. If I had to break it down, this episode was 5% Siggy giving her kids grief, 1% something about Dolores and a gym that I DO NOT CARE ABOUT, 8% Teresa and Jacqueline having a fight and 9,000% Melissa and this dumb kids’ fashion show. Continue reading “‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’: The more things change”
The Real Housewives of New Jersey
“A Life to Envy”
July 31, 2016
Yous guys. I haven’t watched ahead, so I honestly do not know the answer to this, but is this season going to improve? I know I’m waaaaaay behind, but I don’t know that I can take an entire season of the Follettos bitching at each other about Melissa’s dumb boutique, which is pretty much what this entire episode was. Continue reading “‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’: Signore Mom”
The Real Housewives of New Jersey
“Leopard is the New Black”
July 24, 2016
Technically, we begin this episode with the Housewives’ morning routines, but aside from the fact that thanks to her ankle monitor, poor Teresa can’t even go the length of her driveway to make sure the girls make it onto the school bus, nothing interesting is actually revealed. (That said, I’m pretty sure the girls can find their way down to the end of the driveway, so this isn’t exactly a crisis?) Continue reading “‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’: Lady parties are the worst. There, I said it.”
OH, MY AMICI! Where have I been? Why haven’t I been keeping up with my favorite dumb felonious goombahs? I don’t even know!
The truth is, my Meatballs and Folletttos were somehow misplaced during the move from Tubular, and I’m only just now finding them and catching up. And while I might have to abbreviate some of these entries, I swear on my legitimate citizenship and my own — not my twin’s — driver’s license that I will catch up. As Madonna is my witness, I will catch up, yous guys. Continue reading “‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’: New year, new yous”
Here is just a very patient pug, Doug, dressed as all of the characters on Stranger Things. Continue reading “It’s Friday. Spend it watching a video of a pug dressed up as the characters of ‘Stranger Things.’”