GOD DAMMIT, JIMMY FALLON, GET YOUR HAND OUT OF THERE. Look, I don’t expect you to be a journalist, Jimmy Fallon, you’re a late night talk show host who desperately wants to ingratiate himself to everyone, not a journalist. But don’t go out of your way to humanize this cheeto-dusted walking pile of fascism and narcissism by proving his hair is real or at the very least sewn securely into his scalp. Gross.
GOD DAMMIT, DR. OZ, KEEP THAT CREEPY COMMENT IN THERE. Look, I don’t expect you to be a journalist, Dr. Oz, you’re a snake-oil-hucking quack, not a journalist. But don’t go out of your way to edit your show to make this racist megalomaniac who has no respect for any woman who is not his own progeny (and even then he has trouble, amirite, Tiffany?) look less creepy and incesty. Gross!
The Daily Show joins Late Night with Seth Meyers in going live after the Presidential debates.
Here are the first five minutes of FOX’s Rocky Horror Picture Show:
H’oy boy, this Morgan Spurlock documentary about rats that is going to air on Discovery next month is really not for the faint of heart.
In news that is not interesting to anyone but my teenage son, The Grand Tour, Jeremy Clarkson’s new car series on Amazon, will debut on November 18th.
Amazon’s Hand to God will end after its second season. I swear.
Here are some interesting thoughts on why Netflix canceled Bloodline, and what it might mean for the streaming service moving forward in the future.
Netflix is turning the classic Spike Lee film She’s Gotta Have It into a series, and in other news, Spike Lee needs to learn some basic rules of capitalization.
In other development news:
- John Stamos is producing a cable series that is being described as “Boogie Nights in the soap world,” and I am going to watch the HELL out of it.
- Syfy has ordered three new dramas: The Machine, an AI drama; Haunted, a family paranormal drama; and Happy! based on the graphic novel of the same name.
- Adam Scott is starring in Little Evil, an upcoming Netflix movie that is part Omen, part Problem Child and sounds kinda great?
- Alex Gibney’s documentary Zero Days about terrifyingly destructive computer viruses released into the wild by governments is being turned into a fictionalized thriller series.
- NBC is developing a family comedy from the woman who created Hot in Cleveland.
- FOX bought a civil rights lawyers drama from a producer of Empire and a producer of American Horror Story.
- FYI is spinning off Married at First Sight with Married at First Sight: Second Chances.
WATCH THIS
The Real Housewives of New Jersey: Teresa and family reunions just don’t mix. 7 p.m., Sunday, Bravo
Fear the Walking Dead: Alejandro shows a darker side of himself. OH. YOU DON’T SAY. 8 p.m., Sunday, AMC
High Maintenance: HBO is bringing its webseries about a pot delivery guy and his clients to television. Series premiere. (Sort of, you can watch the webseries on HBO GO now.) 10 p.m., Friday HBO
Fleabag: Welcome to your new British comedy obsession. Friday, Amazon
Arq: It’s a time looping movie from an Orphan Black writer. Netflix
Z Nation: Two hour season premiere. 7 p.m., Syfy
The 2016 Emmy Awards: Prize time! 7 p.m., Sunday, ABC
The Case of: JonBenét Ramsay: 20 years after the murder of the tiny beauty queen, investigators take a new look at the unsolved case. Series premiere. 7:30 p.m., Sunday, CBS
Late Night: Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (Friday): Miley Cyrus The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: (Friday): John Slattery, Oliver Stone, Jon Fisch Watch What Happens Live (Sunday): Melissa Gorga, Bevy Smith
| FRI. | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 |
| ABC | Last Man Standing (repeat) |
Dr. Ken (repeat) |
Shark Tank (repeat) |
20/20 (new) |
| CBS | Big Brother (new) |
Hawaii Five-0 (repeat) |
Blue Bloods (repeat) |
| CW | Masters of Illusion (new) |
Masters of Illusion (repeat) |
Local |
| FOX | MasterChef (repeat) |
Local |
| NBC | American Ninja Warriot (repeat) |
Dateline NBC (new) |
—
| SAT. | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 | 10:00 | 10:30 | 11:00 | 11:30 |
| ABC | College Football: Southern California at Stanford (live) |
News/Local |
| CBS | NCIS: Los Angeles (repeat) |
48 Hours (repeat) |
48 Hours (repeat) |
News/Local |
| FOX | College Football: Ohio State at Oklahoma (live) |
News/Local |
| NBC | College Football: Michigan State at Notre Dame (live) |
News/Local |
—
| SUN. | 6:00 | 6:30 | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 |
| ABC | Countdown to the Emmys (live) |
The 68th Annual Primetime Emmys (live) |
| CBS | NFL (new) |
60 Minutes (new) |
The Case Of: JonBenét Ramsey (new) |
NCIS: Los Angeles (repeat) |
| FOX | Bob’s Burgers (repeat) |
Bob’s Burgers (repeat) |
The Simpsons (repeat) |
The Simpsons (repeat) |
Family Guy (repeat) |
Last Man on Earth (repeat) |
Local/News (new) |
| NBC | Sunday Night Football: Packers at Vikings (live) |