The Real Housewives of New Jersey
Reunion, Part 2
November 13, 2016
Hey, check out part one of the reunion special over here if you missed it.
Continue reading “‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey: Reunion’: In which murder clowns get involved”
Category: real housewives of new jersey: season 7
‘Real Housewives of New Jersey: Reunion’: Oh, right, there was a reunion I never wrote about. Sorry.
The Real Housewives of New Jersey
Reunion, Part 1
November 6, 2016
I don’t know what happened. I don’t know why it took me until this new season of The Real Housewives of New Jersey debuted for me to recap the reunion special that aired almost a year ago. I don’t really have an excuse but laziness and distraction.
I will point out that part one of the reunion special aired three days before the Presidential Election, and I was busy fantasizing about having our first female President, trying to imagine what excuse Mitch McConnell was going to come up with to explain why she wouldn’t be allowed to fill the Supreme Court vacancy and bracing myself for Trump TV and its broadcasts full of rants about how Hillary Clinton stole the election. You’ll notice that the date of the second reunion was five days after the Presidential Election. I’m not sure I was out of bed yet.
But all of that is (mostly) behind us now, and the new season of The Real Housewives of New Jersey debuted last night, so what better time to revisit last season’s reunion and remind ourselves where we left off with these stugats?
‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’: One-on-none
The Real Housewives of New Jersey
“And Then There Were Four”
October 30, 2016
After 16 weeks we’ve finally come to the end of the Most Boring Season of The Real Housewives of New Jersey Ever. Not a single table was thrown, nor weave pulled, even Mortadella was on her best behavior. But we did get some riveting stuff about kitchen counters and driver’s licenses, right? UGH. Go ahead and take off your Louboutins, we have one last episode to run through.
Continue reading “‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’: One-on-none”
‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’: Childish poses
The Real Housewives of New Jersey
“Nama’Stay Away From Me”
October 23, 2016
First of all, episode title, it is “NAMAST’AY away from me,” not “NAMA’STAY away from me.” It’s right there on the shirt!
Second of all, after a couple of interesting episodes in Vermont and one emotional episode, we are right back to this season’s boring holding pattern, so you might want to go make yourself a quick espresso or something, because madonn’. So boring.
Continue reading “‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’: Childish poses”
‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’: Arrivederci, Meatball
The Real Housewives of New Jersey
“The Importance of Being Family”
October 16, 2016
It’s time for Meatball to go to meatball prison for committing meatball fraud, and I am not going to cry because Meatball brought this upon himself by being a dumb meatball. I’M NOT GOING TO CRY, DAMMIT.
Continue reading “‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’: Arrivederci, Meatball”
‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’: Checking attendance
The Real Housewives of New Jersey
“Picking Sides”
October 9, 2016
Like me catching up with this season, and a violence-free Posche fashion show, they said it couldn’t be done. Shows what they know.
Continue reading “‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’: Checking attendance”
‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’: Teresa v. Jacqueline: Round ∞
The Real Housewives of New Jersey
“The Other C Word”
October 2, 2016
It was always going to come to this. It was always going to happen this way. You can’t fight fate.
Continue reading “‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’: Teresa v. Jacqueline: Round ∞”
‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’: Take a lap
The Real Housewives of New Jersey
“Rage on My Ass”
September 25, 2016
We begin this episode exactly where we left the last: with Teresa telling her cugini that she doesn’t want to have a relationship with them, but, confusingly, that her “door is always open.” Continue reading “‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’: Take a lap”
‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’: All happy famiglie are the same
The Real Housewives of New Jersey
“Cut the Cancer Out”
September 18, 2016
And the most depressing season of The Real Housewives of New Jersey keeps chugging along.
Continue reading “‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’: All happy famiglie are the same”
‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’: Famiglia reunion
The Real Housewives of New Jersey
“Driving Miss Siggy”
September 11, 2016
We begin with Siggy’s son coming home after passing his driver’s test, and immediately demanding a car. As the mother of a 15-year-old who is counting down the days until his 16th birthday, I feel your pain, Siggy. I feel it.
Later, Siggy, Siggy’s Ex-Husband, Siggy’s Ex-Husband’s New Wife, Siggy’s Ex-Husband’s New Son and Son all go to Delmonico’s to celebrate Son’s 17th birthday. There, Son bitches about his mother being too affectionate with him and Siggy cries thinking about him when he was a baby. I FEEL YOUR PAIN, SIGGY. I FEELÂ IT.
Continue reading “‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’: Famiglia reunion”