Legacies
We’re Being Punked, Pedro
November 8, 2018
“How am I supposed to protect them from stuff that’s not supposed to exist?”
The attractive monsters from the ill-fated flag football brawl are being punished with a day of community service. Alaric forces Hope to join them. SHE KNOWS WHY. Picking up trash in the town square seems a light sentence for attempted murder by dark magic.
Continue reading “‘Legacies’: We’re being punked, Pedro”
Supernatural
“Mint Condition”
November 1, 2018
THEN: We’ve got slicing and dicing, scream queens and killing machines … and racist ghost trucks. Never forget.
NOW
Dean is in his room, living his best surrounded by empties and snacks wrappers sprawled out on his bed eating cold pizza horror movie marathon life. He’s been holed up for a week. Cas is busy with Jack. Kaia Ren is in the wind. They have no clue where Michael is, and—not that he’s complaining—the house is full of strangers.
I would hide, too.
Supernatural
“The Scar”
October 25, 2018
THEN: “I only go to one place– the Bad Place. It’s just… blood and death and monsters.”
NOW
Dean is back, back in the safety of his family and the Bunker, but struggles to overcome a horror that still confronts him. Like a nightmare, it’s always just there. Watching …
Sam’s Grief Beard.
Legacies
“This is the Part Where You Run”
“Some People Just Want to Watch the World Burn”
November 1, 2018
I didn’t want to like Legacies. I mean, I loved me some The Vampire Diaries back in the day, until the cure and the doppelgängers and the heretics and the hey hey made it too tedious to watch. I didn’t want to like Legacies, because it may or may not have displaced Wayward Sisters from a time slot and an order to series.
Which is ironic, because Supernatural’s first stab at a spin-off, “Bloodlines,” felt like it would have been right at home in the TVD universe.
I didn’t want to like Legacies, but dammit here we are.
Supernatural
“Gods and Monsters”
October 18, 2018
THEN: “We had a deal!”
NOW
“Who goes to Duluth in October?”
Michael, apparently. At least that’s the intel that Sister Jo/Anael provides. Angels aren’t known for their veracity – no offense, Cas – so Sam does his due diligence. He discovers a police report of a pile of bodies found in Duluth, all with neck wounds and their eyes BURNED OUT OF THEIR FOOL SKULLS.
Cas breathlessly says, “So, Michael!”
Supernatural
“Stranger in a Strange Land”
October 11, 2018
THE ROAD SO FAR
Jack the nephilim emerged fully grown from his mother’s exploding vagina. Asmodeus was a thing and then he wasn’t. Donatello came back and was killed for no good reason. Missouri came back and was killed FOR NO GOOD GODDAMNED REASON. The Empty was a thing and then it wasn’t. Billie came back. Cas came back. Kevin came back and was killed for no good reason. Ketch came back and lived for no good reason. The Wayward Sisters were briefly, gloriously a thing and then they weren’t. Rowena came back. Sister Jo was a thing and then she wasn’t. Scoobynatural was a thing and it was magnificent. Gabriel came back and was killed for no good reason. Heaven closing up shop was a thing and then it wasn’t. Charlie was a thing and then she wasn’t. Sam was killed and then came back. Dean said yes. Crouching tiger, flying squirrel was a thing and will never be spoken of again. Lucifer finally, finally died.
“Thanks for the suit.”
Continue reading “‘Supernatural’: Because that’s what we do”
Supernatural
“Devil’s Bargain”
February 8, 2018
THEN
Wait, did Cas just kill Lucifer?
NOW
No, no he did not. Because despite being stabbed in the heart, Lucifer somehow survived? And still had enough juice to wing himself from Hell’s Winter White House in Massachusetts to a small town in Missouri? Where he steals the grace of, and then rips the heart from, a perfectly lovely cupid? Who wears a nice suit and a cunning peach overcoat and is not a naked, huggie, man-baby?
Supernatural
“Various & Sundry Villains”
February 1, 2018
THEN
“I hate witches. They’re always spewing their bodily fluids everywhere…It’s creepy, y’know, it’s downright unsanitary!”
NOW
Cas and Lucifer spend the episode cooling their heels in warded cells and jawing at each other. It’s mostly filler but for the part when Cas tells Lucifer that his son is a good, kind, and thoughtful boy who doesn’t look anything like his father.
Continue reading “‘Supernatural’: I can’t be helpless again”
Supernatural
“Breakdown”
January 25, 2018
THEN
“What the cuss?!? A vampire??”
NOW
Oshkosh, Nebraska. A car pulls in to Mann-burned out Y-’s Truck Stop Cafe to fill up. The driver’s credit card is declined at the pump, so the young woman goes inside to pay. The room stills and all eyes turn to her when she walks in. The energy is not friendly. The cashier is downright slimy. After gassing up and declining a gaunt Manson looking dude’s offer to wash her windows, the woman drives away.
Some distance down the road she pulls over with a flat tire. I would drive on the rims before I stopped on a dark murder road. I HAVE driven on the rims rather than stopping on a dark murder road. She tries to flag down a passing semi, but the truck roars past.
Supernatural
“Wayward Sisters”
January 18, 2018
“Something bad’s coming.”
Something badass, you mean. Let’s just take a moment to enjoy, shall we?
Five seconds of THEN and I’m already in my feels.