“This is the Part Where You Run”
“Some People Just Want to Watch the World Burn”
November 1, 2018
I didn’t want to like Legacies. I mean, I loved me some The Vampire Diaries back in the day, until the cure and the doppelgängers and the heretics and the hey hey made it too tedious to watch. I didn’t want to like Legacies, because it may or may not have displaced Wayward Sisters from a time slot and an order to series.
Which is ironic, because Supernatural’s first stab at a spin-off, “Bloodlines,” felt like it would have been right at home in the TVD universe.
I didn’t want to like Legacies, but dammit here we are.
“When we’re young, we’re taught the distinction between a hero and a villain. Good and evil. A savior and a lost cause. But what if the only real difference is who’s telling the story?”
The saviors and lost causes of this story are all students at the Salvatore School for Super Attractive Monsters:
“Tribrid” Hope Mikaelson, the witch daughter of Original vampire Klaus and Alpha werewolf Haley. Her father and uncle sacrificed themselves to save her from being consumed by dark magic. Her first crush became an accessory to her mother’s murder. She has abandonment and trust issues that would give Dean Winchester pause.
Townie human boy Landon Kirby is the love interest. He has floppy hair that protects his mind from vampire compulsion.
Werewolf Rafael is Landon’s foster brother and the plot device that brings Hope and Landon into each other’s orbits.
Twins Lizzie and Josie Saltzman are also witches, the daughters of school co-founder and headmaster Alaric Saltzman, his late wife Jo, and mystical surrogate Caroline Forbes. Who is also a vampire and The Vampire Diaries’ finest character (don’t at me).
Team Caroline for life, yo.
Lizzie also serves enough Caroline snarky realness and vulnerability to keep me watching just for her.
The school and the attractive monsters it shelters are placed in jeopardy of exposure after Landon steals a 12th century knife of unknown supernatural origin and runs off. Hope is vexed—VEXED—by this betrayal and ropes Josie into helping her cast a dark magic spell to find him.
The spell shows Landon on a bus headed south on Rt. 29. But it also seems to make the knife burn red hot, burst into flame, and incinerate the bus’s interior and all the passengers. Hope and Alaric learn of the horrible burning and loss of life from Mystic Falls Sheriff Matt Donovan.
Oh, Matty Blue Blue. You’re so beautifully human.
Landon’s body isn’t on the bus, so Alaric, Hope, and Rafael set off in search of him. They start in the woods near the highway and soon come upon a woman they believe to be a bus survivor. She is silent and disoriented and clearly a magical being that was trapped in the knife.
That’s just obvious. That’s science.
Alaric sends the kids along while he tends to the woman. She gets grabby with his phone and watch. When he tries to get them back, she unhinges her jaw and unleashes a gout of flame at him. Trapped in the knife and a pyromancer.
Hope and Rafe find Landon in the root cellar of an old cabin. He swears he doesn’t remember taking the knife, doesn’t have it, and didn’t burn up the bus, the end. A fire-breathing woman did it. He says the woman tried to take the knife from him and burned everything in her path.
Hope is certain it’s just more of his lies. Rafe is just as sure that Landon is telling the truth. If he says that there’s a fire-breathing woman running through the woods …
“There’s a fire-breathing woman running through the woods.”
Thanks for settling that argument, Ric!
The pyromancer is standing outside the cabin when the four come up for air. She looks pointedly at Landon and holds out her hand in the universal sign for, “GIMME.” He’s like, why, whatever could she want? Certainly not the knife I most certainly don’t have. She sprays them with fire as they retreat back into the cellar.
Alaric needs a cell phone and Landon tells him to take his pick. There’s a pile of cell phones, jewelry, and watches sitting on top of a barrel and oh, SNAP!
She’s not a pyromancer. She’s a dragon.
A fact confirmed when she transforms into a full-on winged nightmare. Hope sends the boys off to safety and uses the death spell she just happens to have in her back pocket to force the dragon to turn back into its human form.
Hope stands over the injured dragon demanding to know where she comes from, why she wants the knife, and what makes it special. The dragon can’t speak. She can only reach out longingly and implore with her eyes. When she spins up the incinerator, Ric grabs the knife from Hope and stabs the dragon in the soft spot under her chin.
Which is sad, because the dragon and her knife are the most interesting things in this episode.
Alaric is vexed—VEXED—when he finds the fallen page containing the death spell. Hope couldn’t have known she would need it, so why did she have it? Look, man, let’s just say this girl really has issues with people lying to her.
Alaric says that Hope’s hatred and need for vengeance is her father’s legacy. It can’t be her. He won’t allow it. He makes Hope bury the dragon alone while she thinks about her life and her choices.
Back at the school, the attractive monsters are losing the annual flag football game against the Mystic Falls public school kids. The townie kids are cartoonishly awful. Why are they so mean? Who hurt them?
Josie and Lizzie remind their teammates that they’re supposed to lose. It’s how they divert attention and remain under the radar. At least until one of the terrible children calls Josie a loser and Lizzie punches her in the face and shouts, “Not now, Dana!!”
And that’s all it took to get me to watch this silly, silly show.
That night, librarian Dorian finds Alaric standing at the school gates. He wonders if the headmaster is thinking of making a break for it. Alaric says he noticed the gate wasn’t locking. What he saw today has scared him. He’s worried about what might want to get in. Safe behind the gates, he says he allowed himself to forget the world is full of nasty surprises.
He wonders how he’s supposed to protect his students—his daughters—from creatures that aren’t supposed to exist?
Behind him, the gargoyle keeping watch over the gate opens its eyes.
Legacies airs Thursdays at 9/8 p.m. on The CW.