We’re Being Punked, Pedro
November 8, 2018
“How am I supposed to protect them from stuff that’s not supposed to exist?”
The attractive monsters from the ill-fated flag football brawl are being punished with a day of community service. Alaric forces Hope to join them. SHE KNOWS WHY. Picking up trash in the town square seems a light sentence for attempted murder by dark magic.
Hope is vexed—VEXED—that it also sidelines her from magic knife research-fu.
Lizzie bails on graffiti cleaning after she gets a face full of milkshake from one of the terrible townie children. I kind of want vampire Kaleb to eat all of them. She stomps back to school in a cloud of indignation and umbrage. None of this would have happened if her father spent more time with her and less time keeping secrets with Hope!
Alaric sends her off to the garden to help the primary students. And by “help”, I mean “tell a 7-year-old that people only disappoint”. Pedro is like, cool cool, that statue is moving and I think it wants to murder us.
Has that gargoyle always been on the grounds? Did the knife just wake it up? And if it’s always been there … why? Did Boone put it there as a goof?
Anyhoo, the gargoyle pursues Lizzie and Pedro as they flee into the main building. She skids to a stop just inside the hall and takes Pedro’s hand to siphon enough magic for a spell. I’m glad SOMEONE finally remembered that the twins don’t have magic of their own.
Lizzie sends Pedro off to find Alaric and gets off a containment spell before she’s attacked. Her father finds her alive but totally immobilized with three gashes in her belly and a nasty case of greyscale.
Hope and Josie work together picking up trash. Josie vents her own feelings about the amount of time her dad spends with Hope, culminating in Hope accidentally staking herself through the foot with the trash sticker thingie. The girls laugh and bond over it until Josie’s “twin pain” alerts her that something is very wrong with Lizzie.
They arrive back at school to learn gargoyles are real and one of them has taken the knife from Ric—who is strangely still alive. He has a theory about that. One that he puts to the test by throwing himself in front of Hope when the gargoyle attacks. It freezes with the knife just inches from Ric’s chest.
Well, if his daughters were feeling insecure about their relationship with him before, this is not going to help.
The moment stretches out … and then Josie clubs the gargoyle from behind with a mace, following the instructions in a medieval French text to, “Hit it hard. Repeat as needed.”
Whack whack pummel whack. Hope grabs Josie’s hand and together they cast a spell that shatters the gargoyle into gravel.
Later, Ric explains to Hope that gargoyles are protectors who guard humanity and fight evil on their behalf. This one guarded a small French village that revered a powerful relic—the knife. A knife that has the power to save the world … or end all life as we know it. Alaric’s Gaulish translation is a little iffy.
Out in the woods, Rafe and Landon are living rough, eating whatever they can catch.
Landon has the brilliant idea to monetize Rafe’s super special werewolf powers by putting them on public display.
It is, in fact, a terrible idea.
Rafe chows down on a sack of burgers while Landon counts their pile of cash. One of the bills has a note scrawled on it in red Sharpie, “RUN, WOLF OR DIE”. Landon doesn’t show this note to Rafe until after they are attacked, drugged, and chained to trees.
This kid is the worst.
Fortunately for them, they have a guardian angel—Jeremy Gilbert. Yay! Jeremy!
Hey, remember when Elena’s little brother got super jacked in Season 5 of TVD? Good times. Now he works for Alaric sometimes, tracking new werewolves and making sure they stay out of trouble and aren’t killed by hunters when their friends don’t show them the note warning them of danger. Because their friends are the worst.
But Landon was there for Rafe after his girlfriend Cassie died, and that means something to the boy. It means everything. So if Rafe is going back to school, so is Landon.
Legacies airs Thursday at 9/8 p.m. on The CW.