Last night the Houston Astros won their first World Series after 55 years (or 56, depending on how you count it). For those of you who don’t live in Houston, it’s hard to express just what this team has meant to this city, even before Hurricane Harvey hit us 9 weeks ago. The Astros are not just a metaphor for our resiliency in the face of overwhelming odds — they also represent our city’s diversity, our scrappiness, and our determination.
And for a long time, they lost.
The Astros had come by the cruel nickname “Lastros” honestly — for most of its history, the Astros were never a “great” team. Hell, even when we made it to the World Series the last time (for the first time), we managed to put in a lackluster performance and had our asses handed to us in 4 tidy games.
But after years of spending money in all the wrong places, the Astros began to build from the ground up, developing young talent and giving improbable heroes like the 5’6″ José Altuve a chance when no one else would (note: there is no way he is as tall as 5’6″). Altuve started officially as an Astro in 2011, a season when we won a whopping 56 games and lost 106. It would be that way for a while — Altuve played two more seasons that had 100+ loses. But the Astros patiently grew their talent and starting in 2015, they gave lifelong fans like myself a shred of hope that we might be able to shake Lastros once and for all.
And this year, after beating the Red Sox, the Yankees, and the highest paid team in baseball, the Dodgers, we did. They did.
I struggle to express what last night’s win meant for a city that has suffered so much in recent months. This morning, I found myself shocked at having to explain #HoustonStrong to some stranger on the internet who wondered what our “trama” [sic] was. It seems that some people have already forgotten the unprecedented storm that flooded thousands upon thousands of people in the fourth largest city in the country just two months ago. And to be fair, a lot has happened in between then and now: Hurricane Irma, Hurricane Maria, the Mexico City earthquake, the shooting in Las Vegas, the fires in California, the terrorist attack in New York City, Harvey Weinstein, the NFL, Mueller, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump.
But to those of us here in Houston, living in rental homes, living with moldy sheetrock, living with insurance hassles and the loss of personal treasures and memories, living with questions about our finances, living with post-traumatic stress every time it rains, living with the loss of security that our homes are a safe place for our families, living with the loss of loved ones … for us here in Houston, Hurricane Harvey is still a very real wound, one that won’t entirely heal anytime soon. But our Astros, they helped us focus on something else in these last two months, something good, something exciting, something hopeful.
I’m not a sportsball writer. I don’t know all the terminology or stats. All I know is how I feel, and I feel a lot right now. Before the first pitch was thrown last night, I was already in tears, partially out of worry that the Astros would lose and a city’s heart would be broken — the Dodgers were, after all, a formidable, sometimes a shockingly unstoppable opponent. But mostly my tears were out of gratitude for how much the Astros gave us this year, this year when we needed so much. Even if we lost last night, I was ready to be thankful for everything.
But we didn’t lose last night. We won. And when we won, the tears — the big fat ugly tears — they came from a place of pure joy of a fan who has waited her entire life for that moment.
Thank you, Astros. It was worth the wait.
Alright, actual TV news
Because my New Year’s hangover won’t be bad enough, ABC has decided to pile on the pain by debuting The Bachelor on January 1st. Genuinely, what is this bullshit? How on earth can the people at ABC think this is a good idea? For one thing, the 1st is still a holiday and people will not have returned to their regular schedules and everyday life, but also, too, isn’t the 1st a big day for college football? ALSO, TOO, I’m not going to have the recap up on the next day, I can just tell you that right now. THIS IS STUPID, ABC, AND YOU’RE STUPID.
Anyway. The Assassination of Gianni Versace will premiere on FX on January 17. You know, a reasonable date.
TV Guide takes a wild stab at when Westworld will return on HBO. I still think that I’ll get around to recapping that batshit show one day, but considering I never got around to finishing the first season of American Gods, it seems unlikely.
And in non-scheduling news, this Stranger Things easter egg runs deep. (And this is spoiler free, by the way.)
Cable News Rundown
Fox News pulled some nonsense on Jake Tapper yesterday, tweeting that he said the phrase “Allahu Akbar” was “beautiful” when in reality what he said was, “The Arabic chant ‘Allahu Akbar,’ God is great, sometimes is said under the most beautiful of circumstances. And too often, we hear it being said in moments like this.”
Jake Tapper didn’t take it well:
It was so bad that even crazy ass right-wing Joe Walsh called bullshit on it.
And Jason Chaffetz, a Fox contributor, apologized to Tapper:
But guess who doubled down? Did you guess Sean Hannity? Because Sean Hannity doubled down on this lie:
I think what I’ve seen from some people in other networks that bothers me is I think they view the fact that the president has sometimes gone over the line in his criticism of the media as an excuse for them to go over the line in terms of pushing back. And it seems to me that it isn’t important that we push back or we fight back, I think in fact that it’s a huge mistake, it puts us, makes us players in the game.
We’re not players in the game, we’re umpires calling balls and strikes…And I think if anything it emphasizes, you know it only reinforces the fact, that we need to tend to our knitting, do our reporting, be as straight as honest as accurate as we can be, and you don’t need to exaggerate, I mean there’s enough to report on this president you don’t need to offer opinions or put your thumb on the scale, just tell what’s going on, people can make up their own minds.
Joe Scarborough was poking at Sean Hannity on Morning Joe this morning, suggesting that Hannity could prove to be the stumbling block for Rupert Murdoch’s plan to buy Sky News.
Oh, Jeremy Piven, the floodgates are opening.
And another woman has come forward to accuse Dustin Hoffman of being a creep.
Andy Dick has been fired from a second movie, and the only thing surprising about this story is that he was employed on a second movie.
Harvey Weinstein and Disney are being sued by an actress who claims he sexually assaulted her twice.
Brett Ratner is suing a woman who accused him on Facebook of raping her. Her story, it should be noted, came out a week before the Los Angeles Times story broke, so good luck with your case, Ratner.
In the category of “Shit You Could Not Make Up”: Brett Ratner was set to make a movie about Hugh Hefner with Jared Leto starring. Yeah, that’s not going to happen now.
People do not want that asshole Casey Affleck to present the Best Actress Oscar after he sexually harassed a number of women on the set of I’m Still Here in 2010.
Oh, Jared and Jensen … guys, come on. Now’s not the time.
- Animal Planet has renewed I Was Prey for a second season.
- Me, Myself & I has been pulled from CBS’ schedule. It’s not officially canceled, but it might as well be. (Sorry, Josh.)
- Daytime Divas has been canceled after only one season on VH1.
- A Four Weddings and a Funeral anthology series from Mindy Kaling is in the works at Hulu.
- Fox is thinking about turning 24 into a legal thriller with a female lead. INTERESTING.
- CBS is turning documentary True Conviction into a series.
- ABC is working on a new cop drama from the folks who created Conviction.
- 15: A Quinceañera Story will air on HBO in December.
- James Corden’s production company is working on a documentary about a UK soccer team for Netflix.
- Molly Shannon is going to return to Will & Grace.
- Sandrine Holt is joining the cast of Homeland in some mysterious role.
- Tiera Skovbye is joining the cast of Once Upon a Time as Robin Hood’s daughter. Is that a spoiler? Whoops.
The Orville: I hate this show and I hate all of you who voted for it. Just a reminder. 8 p.m., Fox
S.W.A.T.: This is the show my husband wanted me to watch and blog when he suggested I set up a poll and allow you trolls to pick a show to hate-blog. Jokes on him. And me. Series premiere. 9 p.m., CBS
Young Sheldon: Hey, remember this? 7:30 p.m., CBS
Mom: Season premiere. 8 p.m., CBS
Life in Pieces: Season premiere. 8:30 p.m., CBS
Superstore: The employees pitch in to help Mateo with his medical expenses in the fall finale. 7 p.m., NBC
The Good Place: Janet makes trouble for Michael in the fall finale. HOW IS IT ALREADY THE FALL FINALE? 7:30 p.m., NBC
Will & Grace: Will and Grace’s business partnership isn’t working out in the fall finale. 8 p.m., NBC
Great News: Carol kidnaps Chuck in the fall finale. 8:30 p.m., NBC
Chicago Fire: This is also going away so that NBC can air football. 9 p.m., NBC
Late Night: Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Alec Baldwin, Finn Wolfhard, Gaten Matarazzo, Caleb McLaughlin, Noah Schnapp, Elbow Late Night with Seth Meyers: Rosie O’Donnell, David France, Anton Fig The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Whoopi Goldberg, Kathryn Hahn, Courtney Barnett & Kurt Vile The Late Late Show with James Corden: Kristen Bell, Dianna Agron, Gary Clark Jr. Jimmy Kimmel Live: Kim Kardashian, Linkin Bridge Conan: Mila Kunis, Maria Bamford, King Krule The Daily Show: Gabrielle Union The Opposition with Jordan Klepper: Bassem Youssef Watch What Happens Live: Jimmy Fallon
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