“Game of Thrones
“Beyond the Wall”
August 20, 2017
New rules for killing wights! Witty banter! Out-of-control sibling rivalries! Blue-eyed ice dragons! Super-sonic ravens! Fabulous coats! Tons of eye-fucking! And more deus ex machinas than you can shake an ice spear at! Let’s go!
“Game of Thrones
“The Spoils of War”
August 6, 2017
DRACARYS, MOFOS!
Game of Thrones
“The Queen’s Justice”
July 30, 2017
In this very chatty episode, Jon and Daenerys finally meet and build up a lot of sexual tension and NEED TO JUST KISS ALREADY; Bran comes home and like every teenager that spends some time away from his family for the first time, thinks he knows everything; Sea Pacey becomes our new favorite character; everyone just flies around the entire continent like they’ve got Elon Musk’s hyperloop installed on Westeros and the writers failed to mention it to us; and The Queen of Thorns is given the greatest death scene that officially ends all death scenes. There should be no more death scenes for anyone ever. EAT IT, BITCHES.
Continue reading “‘Game of Thrones’: Poison is a woman’s weapon”
Game of Thrones
“Stormborn”
July 23, 2017
I would do a clever little intro here, but THERE’S NO TIME. LET’S GO.
Game of Thrones
“Dragonstone”
July 16, 2017
Dragons, giant ice zombies, mass murder, bedpan montages, the Hound calling people “cunts,” Ed Sheeran, Lil’ Lady Badass telling dumb men what’s what, Brimund … IT’S ALL HERE! GAME OF THRONES IS BACK, Y’ALL! BE EXCITED!
Continue reading “‘Game of Thrones’: A wolf in sheep’s clothing”
Game of Thrones
“The Winds of Winter”
June 26, 2016
The season finale was filled with everything we expected: R+L = J; the North uniting; Arya giving Walder Frey exactly what he deserved; Sam going to the Citadel; Cersei having a final showdown with the Faith Militant; Tommen fulfilling Cersei’s prophecy; Daenerys on her way to Westeros to take it back once and for all; and winter has FINALLY come, amirite, Ned Stark? And something I don’t think anyone predicted — Cersei taking the Iron Throne for herself. Girl, I need one of those black leather dresses.
Continue reading “‘Game of Thrones’: The feminine mystique”
Game of Thrones
“Battle of the Bastards”
June 19, 2016
Alright, so the Battle of the Bastards was amazing, no doubt, but the real story this week is how sisters are doing it for themselves. Sansa, Daenerys and Yara: none of them are playing, y’all. Look out, Westeros, because these ladies are getting in formation and they slay. They got hot sauce in their bag, swag, indeed. DAMN.
Continue reading “‘Game of Thrones’: Yas, Queens”
Game of Thrones
“Book of the Stranger”
May 15, 2016
This episode had everything: reunions, good feels, romance, Sansa being a badass, death, FIRE!, fire boobs, dead misogynists, and hopefully the birth of what will be everyone’s new favorite ship: Torienne. Or Briemund? Which do you like better? I’m leaning toward Briemund, myself. BRIEMUND 4LYFE.