Look, nothing is going back to normal until 2021, SO WEAR A DAMN MASK.

by Therese Odell, posted in Uncategorized

It is now Thursday, and here is a catchy rap dedicated to all the Karens who are going to get us all killed because they are selfish assholes:

Scientists say that if we had a national mask order, we could get control of this fucking virus in one to two months. But we won’t because some uneducated dipshits believe nonsense like “wearing a mask poisons the wearer,” and “you’ll go to Hell if you wear a mask.”

And I know it sounds like I’m exaggerating for comic effect with that second reason, but watch this video of two dudes who try to hand out masks in California, and weep for this country:

And then there is the problem that unlike other cultures who understand the value of collective action, we Americans are fiercely independent and believe in “MAH FREEDUMS.” Of course, the virus doesn’t give a shit about your liberty and some made-up Constitutional right to not wear a mask — the virus just wants to reproduce. Masks slow the virus’s ability to reproduce, it is just that simple.

And yet, here we are.

We’re never going to get out from under this thing. Everything is going to be shut down until there is a widespread vaccine (and even then, these same Covidiots will refuse the vaccine, so vulnerable populations who can’t get vaccinated will continue to be exposed and possibly die). Now if you’ll excuse me, I am going to go start drinking for the day.

Georgia’s governor just told cities in his state that they were forbidden to mandate masks, so that’s terrific.

And Florida, which had its highest death toll to date this morning before 10 a.m., continues to refuse to implement a mask order. Hey, you know what’s in Florida? DisneyWorld, which is open. An analyst has downgraded Disney stock and warns that the parks are going to probably end up closing up again. OHREALLYWHYDOYOUTHINKTHAT? Abigail Disney wonders what the fuck Disney is doing, too.

ViacomCBS says most employees will be working from home until at least 2021.

And there’s a good chance movie theaters won’t return fully until mid-2021. So, yeah, let’s just go ahead and shelve Tenet.

MLB baseball is going to be using fake crowd noise when it returns.

R.I.P. Chuck Woolery’s Twitter account which disappeared shortly after he revealed that his son tested positive.

 

The Rose Parade has been canceled for the first time in 75 years. The football game is still set to happen though. OK.

#MeToo

Empire‘s Bryshere Gray was arrested for domestic abuse.

Entourage‘s Kevin Connolly has been accused of sexual assault by costume designer Gracie Cox. He denies the allegations.

Peter Lenkov, the showrunner of MacGyver and Magnum P.I. has been fired by CBS after an investigation into allegations that he was a sexist, racist piece of shit.

Maroon 5 bassist Michael “Mickey” Madden is leaving the band after being arrested for domestic abuse.

In a case that is considerably more nuances, writer and celebrity within the comic world, Warren Ellis has been accused by more than 60 individuals of using his power to manipulate them into sexual relationships and gaslighting them. No one is accusing him of rape or assault. Instead, this is an example of how people in power will sometimes emotionally manipulate, groom, and abuse people with less power.

A $25 million settlement stemming from the Weinstein case has been rejected by a federal judge who thought it smelled of bullshit, siding with many of Weinstein’s victims who agreed.

Johnny Depp is in the middle of a lawsuit against the British tabloid, The Sun, for calling him a “wife-beater.” It’s been messy. Really messy. Like, literally messy.

HOW DID I FORGET TO TELL YOU ABOUT THE TIME FOX NEWS CROPPED PRESIDENT SEX ABUSER OUT OF A PHOTO WITH MELANIA, JEFFREY EPSTEIN, AND GHISLAINE MAXWELL? Anyway, they’re really sorry and it was all a big misunderstanding. OK LOLOLOL.

All Other TV News

Nick Cannon made another attempt at an apology last night, and this time managed to do a decent enough job to keep his Masked Singer gig. However, he’s stepping away from his radio show for a while.

A federal judge has struck down Georgia’s heartbeat abortion bill as unconstitutional. So now Hollywood is going to have to come up with some other reason to leave the state, like, oh, I don’t know, not being able to start production because their idiot governor won’t mandate masks.

Will Colin Jost return to Saturday Night Live? Who can say, certainly not Jost.

According to Netflix, these are the top ten most popular movies on their site. (And I am going to be honest, I haven’t heard of one or two of these.)

OK, and this is an interesting little nugget about The Office but is this an easter egg or is it a directorial choice?

Do you have $3 million laying around? If so, you can buy the Golden Girls house.

And if you have $500, you can advertise on Hulu.

That time Joss Whedon yelled at James Marsters because Spike became so popular. Uh, Joss, dude, what?

Showtime and BET are joining forces for SHOxBET. Showcase and SHO Beyond are being phased out.

Peacock hid a cake recipe in their Terms of Use.

PLEASE DO NOT TO SHOOT AT MEGAN THEE STALLION. SHE IS A PRECIOUS COMMODITY AND I WILL NOT HAVE IT.

Keep feeling better, Alex Trebek!

Renewals

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendars

  • Project Power will debut on Netflix on August 14.
  • Muppets Now will debut on Disney+ on July 31.
  • The Dog House UK will premiere on HBO Max on July 23 and this one looks like a (happy) tearjerker — just be prepared if animals make you cry.
  • The Rain returns on Netflix on August 6.
  • Last Chance U will return on Netflix on July 28.
  • Surviving Joe Exotic will premiere on Animal Planet on July 25.

R.I.P.

Joanna Cole, The author of The Magic School Bus books

WATCH THIS

30 Rock: A One-Time Special: I WANT TO GO TO THERE. (Except I can’t until tomorrow.) 7 p.m., 30 Rock EXCEPT IN PLACES WHERE IT WON’T AIR.

House of Ho: This new reality show follows a wealthy Vietnamese family who have made their fortune here in Houston. Alright then. Series premiere. HBO Max

Fatal Affair: Nia Long and Omar Epps star in this Fatal Attraction rip-off. Netflix

Killer Camp: This is a real competition show: “eleven strangers arrive at Camp Pleasant eager to enjoy some peace and quiet when they are stunned by the news from Camp Counselor Bobby (Bobby Mair) that they have actually arrived at KILLER CAMP. Each night, one camper will be killed by a bloody, bandaged handyman who is given the orders by – one of their fellow campers! On day one, the crew settles into life at Camp Pleasant, tackling slippery slopes, facing electrocution, and battling for immunity, all the while wondering who will become the killer’s first victim.” So, American Horror Story: 1984, the competition. Series premiere. 7 p.m., The CW

Indian Matchmaking: An Indian matchmaker helps with arranged marriages in this new reality series. Series premiere. Netflix

Labor of Love: Season finale. 8 p.m., Fox

The Bold Type: Season finale. 9 p.m., Freeform
Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Jim Carrey, Jenny Slate, Luke Combs
  • Late Night with Seth Meyers: Martin Short, Kiki Layne
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: The Chicks
  • Jimmy Kimmel Live: Alex Rodriguez, guest host Sebastian Maniscalco
  • The Daily Show: The Daily Social Distancing Show
  • Conan: Emily Mortimer
  • Watch What Happens Live: Dorinda Medley, Michael Rapaport
THUR 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Holey Moley
(new)		 Don’t
(new)		 To Tell the Truth
(new)
CBS Young Sheldon
(repeat)		 The Unicorn
(repeat)		 Mom
(repeat)		 Mom
(repeat)		 NICS: Los Angeles
(repeat)
CW Killer Camp
(new)		 Masters of Illusion
(repeat)		 Masters of Illusion
(repeat)		 News/Local
FOX Celebrity Watch Party
(new)		 Labor of Love
(new)		 News/Local
NBC Something Good
(new)		 Superstore
(repeat)		 Brooklyn Nine-Nine
(repeat)		 Law & Order: SVU
(repeat)

7 thoughts on “Look, nothing is going back to normal until 2021, SO WEAR A DAMN MASK.”

  2. It pisses me off big time when people like you use Karen as a pejorative. Yeah, my late wife was named Karen. She would be horrified. Tell me, how would you react to a bunch of right-wing assholes talking about “LaShondas”?

    Reply

    1. I am sorry for your loss. That said — and I know you won’t believe me, but I also don’t give a fuck because it’s true? — my mother’s name is Karen, so sit down. The use of Karen not an attack on my mom, just as it is not an attack on your wife. If you don’t like it, I’m happy to refund your subscription fee.

      OH WAIT.

      -T

      Reply

      1. You choose to be disrespectful of your mother’s name. I choose to be respectful of my wife’s name.

      2. I did not coin the term “Karen,” and while it might be “disrespectful” of the name — whatever that even means — using it to describe a specific type of entitled behavior is not disrespectful of my mother because she does not behave like a “Karen.”
        But if you’re that offended, you’re welcome to not come to this site. No one is forcing you to read what I write.

        — T

    2. Names are strange. I once got all upset about “Nimrod” being used as a synonym for knucklehead, because Nimrod was “a mighty hunter.” There are other traditions about that name, but at this point I think only Edward Elgar and I have positive feelings about “Nimrod,” and Elgar’s been dead for a while.
      My mother, who passed away early this year, was named Kareen, but in the Midwest where she grew up she was usually called Karen. This new definition of Karen as jerky privileged white female doesn’t bother me on my mother’s account. It’s a little dickish (as all stereotyping is), but it’ll go away eventually. I’m sorry it brings you pain – as Therese says, it’s not directed personally at your late wife. That probably doesn’t help a bit.
      Nowadays my own first name appears to mean creepy stalker-fan or some such. I am not diminished.

      Reply

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