It’s time to close up Impeachment Corner after one long shitty week.

Impeachment Corner!

Welp, after Wednesday’s vote acquitting President Gaffe, it’s time to shut down the ol’ Corner. (For now. God only knows what the Felon-in-Chief will get into between now and the election. And HEAVEN FORFEND if he wins in November, I am confident the Corner will have to be unlocked at some point.)

Yesterday marked the last impeachment items that yours truly feels needs to be mentioned: First, at the annual prayer breakfast, the Heretic-in-Chief used the occasion to mock Nancy Pelosi and Mitt Romney for being people of faith. GOOD TIMING, ASSHOLE.

And then later that afternoon, President Deranged took to the East Room at the White House for a completely batshit insane set of remarks in front of a slobbering audience of Republican lapdogs. There he praised his cronies, lambasted Adam Schiff, Nancy Pelosi, Mitt Romney, Lt. Col. Vindman and James Comey for some reason, bitched endlessly about the Mueller investigation — which he called “bullshit,” in one of my favorite moments suggested that most wives wouldn’t care if their husbands had been shot, remembered that he had a son named Barron! and claimed, hilariously, that his kids haven’t used his office for their own corruption.

joe biden sarcastic blink sarcasm

This is a good run-down of all the COMPLETELY NUTSO things that he crammed into one hour, because, friends, I don’t have the energy for it anymore. Momma needs a big cocktail and a long nap after the past four or five months.

And a reminder:

Anyway, as I pull down the blinds, turn off the lights and lock up here, I’m going to leave you with two feel-good videos that reflect the best of humans. After the week we’ve been through (SOTU, acquittal, Brexit, whatever the fuck that was yesterday), I think we could all use the mental vacation.

In other TV news

“Ukraine, Disinformation, & the Trump Administration,” a 162-page-long internal Fox News document warns its employees to avoid spreading disinformation spread by the likes of Rudy Giuliani and John Solomon. HUH. YOU DON’T SAY.

The Conners will be offering live commentary on the Oscars on Sunday as part of a promotion for the live episode that will air on Tuesday.

Apparently, Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj is not the only thing Netflix has pulled after foreign governments demanded them to. Fun fact I learned from this article: Night of the Living Dead is banned in Germany. OK, BUT WHY?

So, it sounds like CBS wants its own HBO Max or Disney+. CBS is planning to launch a streamer that would combine CBS All Access with their Viacom properties, including Paramount, BET, Nickelodeon, MTV, and Showtime.

CBS is really sorry for making Gayle King look bad.

Does Netflix’s trailer autoplay drive you crazy? Good news: you can finally turn it off.

1. Sign In to Netflix from a web browser.
2. Select Manage Profiles from the menu.
3. Select the profile you’d like to update.
4. Check or uncheck the option to Autoplay previews while browsing on all devices.

About that Brooklyn Nine-Nine decision.

Scrubs and Cougar Town will both reunite at ATX.

Ausiello has tiny nuggets of information about Supernatural‘s finale, This is Us and The Walking Dead.

Here, the showrunner of The Sinner answers none of your questions.

With the new Fantasy Island movie about to open next week, here’s a look back at one of the scariest episodes of what was at the time my Very Favorite Show.

The Young and the Restless will celebrate Eric Braeden, a.k.a. Victor Newman, on his 40th anniversary at the soap.

Phillip Schofield, a famous UK presenter, has come out as gay.

Do we really need a full week of coverage of the New Hampshire primary? Are you SURE?

Time’s Up

The prosecution in the Harvey Weinstein trial rested yesterday. I’m not going to go through all the grisly details, but The Wrap has a decent roundup of what the 6 women who testified against him had to say. I will just add that they left out the testimony that Weinstein apparently was most humiliated by — not the abusive, violent, piggish behavior, but the fact that he apparently doesn’t have testicles. The defense’s case began yesterday, with testimony from a former friend of Annabella Sciorra’s who claimed that she had a drinking and drug problem after what she described as merely a “crazy” sexual encounter with Weinstein. Did I mention that this witness is a guy? And also friends with Weinstein? So maybe Sciorra wouldn’t want to admit to him that she was raped? And that developing an alcohol and/or drug problem following a violent rape actually seems like a very understandable reaction from someone who has been traumatized? But yeah, cool story, bros. YO, KEEP SMEARING VICTIMS, GUYS, AND SEE HOW WELL THAT GOES FOR YOU.

Dr. Grant Robicheaux, a star of a short-lived Bravo series and his girlfriend Cerissa Riley were cleared of all charges of drugging and raping women in Orange County. This was a particularly salacious case and an example of prosecutors overreaching.

Louis Theroux, documentary filmmaker and cousin of Justin, made a documentary about sex work, and one of the women he interviewed is now claiming she was mistreated by the production. Not to cut a guy I happen to like too much slack, but from reading the details, this feels like a story with a lot of gray areas, where no bright lines were crossed.

Hey, Houston, Louis C.K. isn’t going to make this weekend’s shows. OH WELL.

Kevin Hart has FINALLY figured out why people were so mad at him.

Renewals

  • Dating Around, a very charming reality series, has been renewed at Netflix for a second season.

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendar

  • The Vast of Night will premiere on Amazon on March 13.
  • Utopia Falls will premiere on Hulu on February 14.

R.I.P.

FX Feeney, Movie critic and screenwriter

WATCH THIS

FRIDAY

Locke & Key: Three siblings move into a very strange home after their father is murdered in this new series based on the classic graphic novel. Series premiere. Netflix

Mythic Quest: Raven’s Banquet: Rob McElhenney stars in this new comedy set in the world of video game design. Series premiere. Apple TV+

Horse Girl: Alison Brie stars in this film about a woman who might be able to hear the future … or something. Netflix

MacGyver: The team is hired to find a bioweapon in the season premiere. 7 p.m., CBS

High Maintenance: The guy finds a dog. Season premiere. 10 p.m., HBO

The Democratic Debate: We are still doing this. JUST TELL ME WHO TO VOTE FOR IN NOVEMBER, I’M SICK OF THE FIGHTING. 7 p.m., ABC

SATURDAY

Saturday Night Live: RuPaul & Justin Bieber 10:30 p.m., NBC

Ma: Octavia Spencer stars in this thriller as a woman who befriends a group of teenagers and then becomes … unhinged. 7 p.m., HBO

SUNDAY

The Oscars: Movies give themselves prizes. 7 p.m., ABC; Red Carpet coverage begins at 12 p.m. on ABC & E!,

Homeland: Carrie recovers in Germany in the final season premiere. 8 p.m., Showtime

Power: Ghost seeks vengeance in the two-hour series finale. 7 p.m., Starz

Kidding: Jeff realizes the power of a lie in the reverse plot of Liar, Liar. Season premiere. 9 p.m., Showtime

Curse of the Bermuda Triangle: IT’S ON THE SCIENCE CHANNEL SO IT HAS TO BE TRUE. Series premiere. 9 p.m., Science

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (Friday): Rosario Dawson, Lil Rel Howery, Andre D. Thompson
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: (Friday): Joe Mantegna, Coyote Peterson
  • Watch What Happens Live (Sunday): Dr. Jackie, Reza Farahan

 

FRI. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC The Democratic Debate
(live)
CBS MacGyver
(new)
Hawaii Five-0
(new)
Blue Bloods
(repeat)
CW Charmed
(new)
Dynasty
(new)
Local
FOX Friday Night Smackdown
(new)
Local
NBC Lincoln Rhyme: The Hunt for the Bone Collector
(new)
Dateline
(new)

SAT. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30 10:00 10:30 11:00 11:30
ABC NBA Basketball
(live)
News/Local
CBS NCIS
(repeat)
48 Hours 48 Hours News/Local
FOX The Masked Singer
(repeat)
LEGO Masters
(repeat)
News/Local
NBC Dateline News/

Local

Saturday Night Live
(repeat)
Saturday Night Live
(RuPaul & Justin Bieber)

SUN. 6:00 6:30 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Oscar Red Carpet
(live)
92nd Oscars
(live)
CBS 60 Minutes NCIS
(repeat)
FBI
(repeat)
NCIS: New Orleans
(repeat)
The CW Local Batwoman
(repeat)
Supergirl
(repeat)
Local
FOX Last Man Standing
(repeat)
Out-matched
(repeat)
The Simpsons
(repeat)
Bob’s Burgers
(repeat)
Family Guy
(repeat)
Family Guy
(repeat)
Local/News
NBC America’s Got Talent: The Champions
(repeat)
Ellen’s Game of Games
(repeat)
Ellen’s Game of Games
(repeat)
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