UH-OH: It’s officially Impeachment O’Clock, motherfuckers!

Impeachment Corner!

Big day kids! Nancy Pelosi took to the teevees this morning to announce the thing that we all knew was going to happen: the House of Representatives is drawing up articles of impeachment against President Wants to be King.

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Pelosi’s address was powerful, historical and somber and A LONG TIME COMING. NANCY.

The facts are uncontested. The president abused his power for his own personal political benefit at the expense of our national security, by withholding military aid and crucial Oval Office meeting in exchange for an announcement of an investigation into his political rival.

Yesterday, the Judiciary Committee, at the Judiciary Committee, the American people heard testimony from leading American constitutional scholars who illuminated without a doubt that the president’s actions are a profound violation of the public trust. The president’s actions have seriously violated the constitution, especially when he says and acts upon the belief “Article 2 says I can do whatever I want.” No. His wrongdoing strikes at the very heart of our constitution. A separation of powers, three co-equal branches, each a check and balance on the other. A republic, if we can keep it, said Benjamin Franklin.

Our democracy is what is at stake. The president leaves us no choice but to act because he is trying to corrupt, once again, the election for his own benefit. The president has engaged in abuse of power undermining our national security and jeopardizing the integrity of our elections. His actions are in defiance of the vision of our founders and the oath of office that he takes to preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.

Fuck yeah, girl.

Later, Speaker Pelosi took questions, and as the presser ended and she was on her way out of the room, some snotnose from Sinclair Media asked her if she “hated” the president. It did not go well for him:

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My dragon queen.

Next up: a hearing on the 9th where the Judiciary Committee will formally receive the Intelligence Committee’s report and hear presentations on its findings. Word is, the House wants to vote on impeachment before Christmas, but we will see.

As for yesterday’s hearing, the House Judiciary Committee questioned four Constitutional scholars on whether President Shitgoblin committed impeachable offenses by demanding from Ukraine an announcement of an investigation into his political rivals in exchange for Congressionally appropriated funding and a meeting at the White House; and blocking subpoenaed testimony and documents.

“UH, YEAH,” said three of the scholars, Noah Feldman from Harvard, Pamela S. Karlan from Stanford, and Michael Gerhardt from the University of North Carolina. “Well, it’s complicated,” said Jonathan Turley, from George Washington University, the guy the Republicans called.

Basically, Feldman, Karlan, and Gerhardt were adamant and in agreement that:

  1. The President of the United States is not above the law
  2. That soliciting help in an election from a foreign country is VERY BAD and just the sort of thing the Framers wrote the impeachment rules in the Constitution for
  3. That just because he didn’t get away with his scheme doesn’t mean it wasn’t a crime, just like if a bank robber holds up a bank but leaves without any cash, it’s still a goddamned crime
  4. That the Executive Branch withholding documents and testimony from the Legislative Branch is definitely a violation of the separation of powers and constitutes obstruction
  5. That waiting for an election is not always a satisfactory solution for removing a President, ESPECIALLY WHEN THE PRESIDENT IS ACTIVELY MEDDLING IN THE ELECTION.

As for the Republican’s guy, Turley, basically his argument came down to a couple of points:

  1. I mean, maybe it’s impeachable, but this investigation, it’s all happened so fast, how can we possibly know? It’s important that you keep investigating, some key witnesses need to testify and maybe this whole thing should just slow down a bit.
  2. Congress claiming that the President is obstructing justice because he won’t turn over documents to them and they won’t wait for the courts to rule in their favor is an abuse of Congress’ power.
  3. We’ve become so partisan, you guuuuuyyyyys. What if the President were a Democrat? Huh? Would you still be impeaching? Think about that for a while.

Now, I’m no lawyer, but the biggest issue I see with his core argument is that the Democrats HAVE subpoenaed key witnesses and documents, but the White House is giving them the double bird in return. The House could go through the courts — and have filed some suits, but we are up against a clock, namely THE GODDAMNED ELECTION THAT THE PRESIDENT IS ACTIVELY TRYING TO FUCK WITH.

So sure, we could wait for this whole thing to wind its way to the Supreme Court, which might take up to or more than a year and play President So Sue Me’s game, orrrrrrrrr the White House could fucking comply with legal subpoenas the way that every other White House who has been investigated has and we could get on with it, orrrrrrrrr we call the obvious thing the obvious thing: obstruction, and impeach his ass for it.

The other story from the hearing yesterday was a pun Professor Karlan made. Representative Sheila Jackson Lee asked Karlan what the difference is between a king and a president, and Karlan explained that a king IS the law, and therefore can not break it, whereas a president still has to abide by the law. She then noted that presidents can’t offer titles and then made this wordplay:

“While the president can name his son Barron, he can’t make him a baron.”

COMMENCE THE RIGHT-WING FREAK OUT! Representative Matt Gaetz yelled at her for making a joke at the expense of the President’s child; Melania Trump screamed at her about it on Twitter; and the Right collectively grasped their pearls at the horror of it all. HOW DARE SHE.

Nevermind that it was a play on Barron’s name and was not a personal attack in any way shape or form, and nevermind that his father made fun of a 16-year-old climate change activist; or that his father once put out a full-page ad demanding the death penalty for five boys — one of whom was only a year older than Barron himself — for a crime they did not commit, and then never backed down from it; or that his father continues to separate children from their parents at the border, takes away their medicine, keeps them in cages and his policies have caused actual deaths. But yes, Professor Karlan is the real monster here.

Professor Karlan apologized during the hearing, BUT SHE SHOULDN’T HAVE.

And one final item here, and this is only tangential to the impeachment hearing, but it’s important to note. At the core of this story is, as always with President Kompromant, Russia. The case against President Dingleberry is simple: he withheld aid from Ukraine for political dirt on his opponents.

But it is INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT to always remember that:

  1. It’s not just about Joe Biden. He also wanted Ukraine to “investigate” a bullshit conspiracy theory that Ukraine hacked the 2016 election, not Russia. Because …
  2. This would give President Putin’s Mole a reason to lift the sanctions against Russia for interfering in our election, and …
  3. It could strain the United States’ relationship with Ukraine — basically, it might make lawmakers less willing to help them in their war with Russia.

The Cold War never ended. While the Soviet Union and the existential threat of communism no longer exist, Russia and Putin are DETERMINED to undermine Western democracy and the United States’ position in the world. To think anything else is delusional and incredibly dangerous.

And that is why it is so terrifying to me to see that Fox News dipshit Tucker Carlson is filling his influenceable viewers’ heads with this nonsense:

Ronald Regan is spinning in his grave, y’all.

In Other TV News

Speaking of that traitor Tucker Carlson: Karen McDougal, the woman the National Enquirer’s publisher paid off to keep her silent about her affair with President Spanky, is suing Fox News for defamation. Turns out that turd Tucker Carlson said about her and Stormy Daniels: “approached Donald Trump and threatened to ruin his career and humiliate his family if he doesn’t give them money.” HEY, STORMY, YOU SHOULD GET IN ON THIS, TOO!

Trey Parker and Matt Stone are raising money to help the guy who gave South Park character Cartman his name.

Another day, another AGT update: Gabrielle Union had what she called a “productive” meeting with NBC, and it looks like there will be discussions with Simon Cowell about making “some changes to the way things are done on the show.” Yeah, good luck with that. Because 60-year-old multi-millionaires are known to being open about making changes.

Meanwhile, the other woman who was fired, Julianne Hough, commended Union for “speaking her truth”  while also praising NBC for “showing up and starting a narrative.” Nevermind the fact that Hough has two upcoming NBC specials and is desperate to not rock that particular boat.

Hey, do you remember that Netflix movie about Mötley Cruë called The Dirt? (Probably not, but just go with me.) After the movie’s success, the band got back together and are going on tour. Yay for those dirtbags!

Congratulations, Emma Stone and SNL writer Dave McCary! (Apparently, guys, if you want to land a hot movie star, get a job at SNL.)

In Development

  • Tituss Burgess is working on a music contest series on Netflix.
  • Uptown, a scripted series about Uptown Records, is being developed at BET.
  • Silent Witness, a drama starring Melissa Leo, and This Country, a comedy from Paul Feig, are being developed at Fox.
  • A TV series based on the children’s book Eloise could be in the works one day.
  • The Hulu animated series Tigra and Dazzler, has been postponed after the showrunner and all of the writers were fired.
  • Jeff Rossen has signed a deal with Hearst TV.

Casting News

Mark Your Calendars

  • YOU returns on Netflix on December 26.
  • A.J. and the Queen will debut on Netflix on January 10.
  • Shrill returns on Hulu on January 24.
  • Jennifer Lopez is hosting Saturday Night Live this weekend.
  • Lost in Space will return on Netflix on December 24.


Supernatural: Dean goes on a case on his own while Sam and Castiel seek out God. 7 p.m., The CW

Project Runway: Hey, Houston: the new season will feature an HSPVA graduate. Season premiere. 8 p.m., Bravo

Same Time, Next Christmas: Lea Michele stars in this romantic Christmas movie set in Hawaii. 8 p.m., ABC

V Wars: Ian Somerhalder‘s new vampire series, because he just can’t stay away from vampire series apparently. Series premiere. Netflix

Tell Me A Story: Season premiere. Netflix

A Charlie Brown Christmas: The only animated Christmas special that focuses on the true meaning of Christmas. But for real though. 7 p.m., ABC

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Jennifer Lopez, Camila Cabello
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Scarlett Johansson, Joe Pera
  • The Late Late Show with James Corden: Rebel Wilson, Kacey Musgraves
  • Jimmy Kimmel Live: Tom Holland, Ana Gasteyer, Angel Olsen
  • The Daily Show: John Lithgow
  • Conan: Jameela Jamil
  • Lights Out with David Spade: Casey Wilson, Nico Santos, Chris Hardwick
  • Watch What Happens Live: Alanis Morissette, Julia Stiles
THUR 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC A Charlie Brown Christmas Same Time, Next Christmas
CBS Young Sheldon
The Unicorn
Carol’s Second Act
CW Supernatural
FOX Thursday Night Football


NBC A Saturday Night Live Christmas
Making It

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