Plug the impeachment machine back in, it’s time for another hearing!

Impeachment Corner!

Hi kids, we’re back. It’s been a busy 24 hours in the impeachment corner after a long Thanksgiving break, so let’s get going.

SO. On Monday, the House Intelligence Committee released its report on the Ukrainian Affair to its members. Yesterday, they released the 300+ page report to the public (no, I have not read it) and then later in the afternoon voted to adopt the report. Of course, the Republicans on the Committee were NOT HAPPY with the report and issued their own report which amounted to 123 pages of “NUH-UH.”

You can read the official report here.

The report was then turned over to the Judiciary Committee who will be the folks who will draft the Articles of Impeachment if there are any. (Spoiler: There will be.) That committee is holding a hearing with a panel of four law professors — three chosen by the Democrats: Harvard Law School professor Noah Feldman, Stanford University professor Pamela S. Karlan and University of North Carolina law professor Michael Gerhardt, and one by the Republicans: George Washington University professor Jonathan Turley — to discuss the constitutionality of impeachment, and whether or not President Dipshit did enough to be impeached. (Spoiler: He did.)

We can talk a bit more about the hearing — which I am currently watching live — but I think the biggest takeaway will be that the one woman on the panel, Pamela Karlan, was here to BURN IT ALL DOWN. I love her and want her to replace that rapey putz Brett Kavanaugh on the Supreme Court.

And as someone who lives in Texas, let me say, her argument checks out.

Fuck yeah.

But going back to the report for a minute — again, haven’t read it — but one of the documents the report included were some phone records that AT&T provided the committee. And the records showed a number of VERY interesting items, including Rudy Giuliani calling the Office of Budget and Management at least a half dozen times — which is interesting because as a private citizen, Giuliani has no imaginable business with the department that controls the release of funds to foreign countries, like, oh I don’t know, Ukraine. When President Ding Dong was asked about this, he pulled another, “You’ll have to ask Rudy.”

i don't know her mariah carey

The phone records also show that Rudy was also calling a BUNCH of other people, including Mike Pompeo; John R. Bolton; Representative Devin Nunes; midlevel White House officials; Sean Hannity; John Solomon, a conservative columnist who wrote a number of bullshit Ukrainian conspiracy theory articles; Lev Parnas; and the owner of a mysterious number, “-1.” It’s believed that -1 is President Individual One himself.

Which, you know, whatever: after all, Rudy is President Sundowner’s personal attorney; presumably, they talk on the phone. But what is interesting is that these phone calls take place around the same time that Ambassador Yovanovitch was being pulled from her position, suggesting that President I Don’t Know Her was in the thick of it.

Hey, hey, hey: guess where Rudy Giuliani is RIGHT NOW? If you guessed, “In Ukraine, meeting with all the shady dudes behind this scheme while also filming a documentary intended to debunk the impeachment argument,” you’re correct.

As for the other phone records, Representative Devin Nunes, who happens to be the ranking Republican on the House Intelligence Committee — which is ostensibly investigating L’affaire Ukraine — had five phone calls with Rudy Giuliani and four with Lev Parnas shortly before Yovanovitch was removed from Ukraine.


But that’s not all! Because that dipshit Devin Nunes, this litigious motherfucker is suing CNN for $435 million for reporting that Lev Parnas said Nunes went to Vienna to meet with the former Ukrainian prosecutor Victor Shokin to dig up dirt on Joe Biden. OK, BUT WHAT WERE YOU TALKING TO PARNAS ABOUT ON THOSE PHONE CALLS, DEVIN?


devin nunes high school photo
You dumb, dumb, dummy.


In Other TV News

The Freefolk subreddit, which was openly critical of Dan Weiss and David Benioff, was the most popular TV subreddit this year. GEE, WHY?

I am not going to get around to making a list of the worst shows of the year — mostly because I couldn’t make myself sit through most of these for more than five minutes — but if I did, a lot of these shows would be on it.

Bob Iger, Geraldine Laybourne, Seth MacFarlane, Jay Sandrich and Cicely Tyson are going to be sworn into the Television Academy’s Hall of Fame. AND YOU KNOW WHAT, I’M NOT EVEN GOING TO SAY ANYTHING BUT CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL OF THE INDUCTEES, EVEN SETH MACFARLANE BUT I’M SURE YOU CAN HEAR MY THOUGHTS.

A federal judge has told the Department of Justice to butt out of this Writers Guild fight with agencies. Good.

You know who else thinks America’s Got Talent is a boy’s club? Former judge Sharon Osbourne who also invites NBC to kiss her ass. A few choice quotes:

“The boys take care of each other, and the women are not paid as much as the men. I was on the show before Howie [Mandel] … I was one of them that helped put the show where it was.”

“There was him [Simon Cowell], L.A. Reid, who’s an older man, and in between them was Demi Lovato and Britney Spears… The guys looked like two high rollers in Vegas who picked up a couple of kids,” Osbourne said. “I told L.A. Reid and I told Simon — it’s nothing I wouldn’t say to their face — ‘You look like two dirty old men’ … these are kids.”

“They brought Howie in. He got his own plane. I love Howie, and I don’t begrudge anyone earning what they earn… But, when my old ass has been there shooting the show, and I get an American Airlines ticket and he gets a private plane. And I get that because I’m me and I’m not in the club,” she said. “NBC can kiss my ass.”

Sounds like Amy Sherman-Palladino won’t be subscribing to Apple TV+ any time soon.

This is a very good essay about how Mister Rogers Neighborhood shaped Generation X. I feel see.

Emily Nussbaum, my very favorite TV critic, is not going to be The New Yorker‘s TV critic any longer, moving to work on other subjects. AND I AM BEREFT.

Sex Monster News



In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendars

  • Twenties will debut on BET in early 2020.

  • High Maintenance will return on HBO on February 7.
  • Soundtrack will premiere on Netflix on December 18.


D.C. Fontana, Star Trek writer


Stumptown: Dex’s relationship with Grey is challenged. 9 p.m., ABC

87th Annual Christmas in Rockefeller Center: TURN ON THE TREE! 7 p.m., NBC

The Moodys: This three-part Christmas movie (?) miniseries (?) series (?) stars Denis Leary and Elizabeth Perkins. 8 p.m., Fox

Man vs. Bear: Three dudes compete with grizzly bears in speed, strength, and strategy. So, pretty much exactly what it sounds like. Series premiere. 8 p.m., Discovery

Vikings: The sixth season premiere follows a one-hour special, “The Saga of Floki.” Season premiere. 7 p.m., History

Impeachment Hearings: Once more now with the Judiciary Committee. 9 a.m., CNN, MSNBC, Fox News, CSPAN

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: John Lithgow, Alanis Morissette
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Eddie Redmayne, Pharrell Williams
  • The Late Late Show with James Corden: John Travolta, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Sam Taylor-Johnson
  • Jimmy Kimmel Live: Tom Holland, Ana Gasteyer, Angel Olsen
  • The Daily Show: Brittany Howard
  • Conan: Kristin Chenoweth
  • Lights Out with David Spade: Adam Ray, Andrea Savage, Brent Morin
  • Watch What Happens Live: Ashley Tisdale, Jennifer Aydin


WEDS. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC The Goldbergs
Modern Family
Single Parents
CBS Survivor
CW Riverdale
Nancy Drew
FOX The Masked Singer
The Moodys
NBC The 87th Annual Christmas in Rockefeller Center
Making It

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