John Bolton is talking about testifying in the impeachment inquiry and I’m talking about investing in popcorn futures

Impeachment Corner!

It’s another relatively quiet day on the Hill, in large part because Representative Elijah Cummings’ funeral was held this morning in Baltimore, and in part because it’s Friday. So just a few points to know today:

It looks like it wasn’t just military aid the White House was withholding from Ukraine: some trade privileges were also being held up.

Walrus-Man hybrid John Bolton, his lawyers have been in talks with the three House committees leading the impeachment inquiry about possibly testifying. BACK UP THE POPCORN TRUCK, YOU GUYS.

According to a new NBC poll, Americans are split on impeachment and removal: 49% in favor and 49% opposed. It’s pretty much straight down party lines which is unsurprising, but what is hopeful is the breakdown of independents, whom the Republicans are going to need at the end of the day: 53% for and 44% against.

The feds have escalated their investigation into Lev and Igor, our Fraud Guarantee friends, issuing subpoenas and searching properties, including blowing the door off of a safe. Fun!

Meanwhile, the best the GOP can come up with to defend the President is to continue to complain about the process and demand open hearings. BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR, DIPSHITS.

As for President WITCH HUNT!, he’s still whinging about the whistleblower, and wondering why they won’t come forward. Considering we’ve had 65 hours of testimony — so far — from other witnesses that corroborate the whistleblower’s claim, it’s pretty clear we don’t need whoever the whistleblower is to get to the bottom of this. We are way past that, Donnie.

Testifying next week:

Monday: Charlie Kupperman, the deputy national security adviser who worked with Bolton.

Tuesday: Alexander Vindman, European affairs director at the National Security Council. He attended President Zelensky’s inauguration along with Rick Perry (instead of Mike Pence).

Wednesday: Kathryn Wheelbarger, acting assistant secretary of defense for international security affairs. She is expected to testify about what the Pentagon knew about withholding the military aid to Ukraine.

Thursday: Tim Morrison, the National Security Council’s Europe and Eurasia director. Ambassador Bill Taylor said this guy was on the call between President I Need a Favor and President Zelensky, and that he expressed his concern about withholding the funds to Morrison several times.

And this does not exactly have anything to do with the impeachment inquiry, except that it relates to Russia, but it’s important to be aware of it nonetheless: The New York Times reported that Attorney General Bill Barr’s review of the Russia investigation and how it got started has now become a criminal inquiry. This is insanely dangerous for so many reasons, namely because it is in no way rooted in the actual truth of what happened and because it sure looks like Barr is going to target those who President Tin-Foil Hat considers political enemies. And I can’t help but wonder if this is not also another piece in this compromised administration’s attempt to come up with some reason to remove sanctions against Russia for interfering with our election, WHICH THEY DID.

Once again for those in the back: all of our intelligence agencies agreed that Russia interfered in the 2016 election to the benefit of President Pee-Pee and Robert Mueller found enough evidence of that crime that he handed down indictments to more than two dozen Russians actors. And now Barr is coming in and chasing around unfounded conspiracies claiming that the Russia investigation was actually all a set up to make sure Hillary won the 2016 election.

Reminder: Hillary Clinton lost the 2016 election.

In other TV news

Good news for those of us who get our cable through AT&T: HBO Max will be free to those of us who subscribe to HBO.

President Wideass is threatening to attend game five of the World Series. If we make it to game five, maybe this will be the good luck charm the Astros need to run it around.

Oh no — Megan Mullally and Debra Messing reportedly hate each other, and Mullally missed two episodes of Will & Grace as a result. Damn.

Congratulations to Kelly O’Donnell for being the first woman to receive the Radio & Television Correspondents Association’s Career Achievement Award for Distinguished Reporting on Congress.

When you’re ready, Shep Smith, CNN will be waiting for you.

I’m mostly including this list of 30 best horror movies on Shudder for my own personal reference for next week.

A platform I can get behind: Bring back Hannibal, and have him eat the rich.

And if you’re hankering for some old school horror-comedy, MGM has been uploading classic episodes of The Addams Family onto YouTube recently.

Lucifer is going to have a musical episode. Sure. OK.

Amanda Knox has signed a petition an open letter to Wisconsin Governor Tony Evers supporting granting clemency to Brendan Dassey, one of the subjects of Making a Murderer.

Despite her hots for Joe Biden, Leslie Knope would TOTALLY be all about Elizabeth Warren, and we all know it.

Bless This Mess, Party of Five, S.W.A.T. and L.A.’s Finest have all been impacted by the California wildfires.

Felicity Huffman is out of prison.

It’s the anniversary of this thing I once did for Tubular.

Photo: Michael Paulsen / Houston Chronicle

Because it’s my site and I do what I want, here’s Puddles the Clown singing Lizzo’s “Juice.” Hey, he was on America’s Got Talent a few years ago. That’s TV-related enough for me:

Time’s Up

Well, Astros, it’s a start: After nearly a week of people being REALLY PISSED OFF about this Brandon Taubman character taunting female reporters in the locker room, then following the incident up with a completely dickish response to the story that called the journalist who reported it a liar — and two devastating World Series losses at homethe Houston Astros have fired assistant general manager Taubman. Good! This is a good place to start!

But … then in a news conference about the firing, Astros general manager Jeff Luhnow came out and said a whole bunch of bullshit, refusing to identify anyone in the front office who had anything to do with the deeply offensive statement, claiming it was “an organizational decision … the Astros’ decision” — as if the Astros and the organization is some separate entity and not made up of individuals. OK. Even worse, he continued to insist that “it’s not 100 percent clear what the truth is.”

Additionally, Luhnow has made no effort to reach out to any of the women involved including Stephanie Apstein, the Sports Illustrated journalist who reported on the incident — and who the Astros called a lying liar — to apologize because he’s been busy. Stephanie Apstein WAS AT THIS NEWS CONFERENCE.

I’ll let Deadspin take this one:

… as a series of human actions, this is all hideous. The Astros have a culture where a person could even develop the specific anger behind Taubman’s taunts, to say nothing of shouting those taunts at someone in public; where the kind of person who would both feel that specific shit-hearted triumph and then weaponize it is otherwise considered a good guy with high character; where the organization’s inclination is to take the word of internal “witnesses” who would have obvious professional incentives for obscuring the truth over a first-person report from a journalist; where the action that flows from that misguided trust involves publicly accusing the journalist of fabrication; where a group of adults would need whole days in order to determine that even a general apology is appropriate; where orchestrating a happy ending to this disastrous sequence in a press conference is more urgent than personally apologizing to the only person who was actually wronged; and where you’d even need a PR playbook to sort this out in the first place.

So, uhh, yes, this very much is a cultural issue, and no, the Astros very much do not have a lot of really good people in their front office.

Harvey Weinstein went to some invite-only actor’s event in New York City, and another guest, a woman, called bullshit: Actress and playwright Zoe Stuckless was recorded saying: “Nobody’s going to say anything? Nobody’s really going to say anything? I’m going to stand four feet from a fucking rapist and nobody’s going to say anything?” She was ejected from the show. Another woman, comedian Kelly Bachman who was performing at the event, also called him out only to be booed and called a “cunt” by one of Weinstein’s friends. So, yeah, don’t come at me with any “cancel culture” crap. Men are doing JUST FINE.

Speaking of Weinstein, Rose McGowan has sued him, Lisa Bloom, David Boies, and P.I. firm Black Cube for “racketeering, violations of the Federal Wiretap Act, invasion of privacy, fraud and intentional infliction of emotional distress.” Get ’em, girl.

Summer Zervos has claimed in court that the Trump Organization has documents that back up her allegations of sexual harassment and they need to HAND THEM OVER.

Nelly has settled with the woman accusing him of sexual assault.

Kathy Griffin shut down a mansplainer on live TV and it was amazing. Griffin had an interview on KTLA where she noted that because she is a 58-year-old woman in comedy, she doesn’t have “a single day of paid work ahead of [her] for the rest of [her] life.” That’s when the weatherman decided he had something to say, and interrupted her to note there are a lot of 58-year-olds in comedy. “Name five women,” Griffin responded. “Uh, I’m not into the comedy thing,” Kriski responded. This is what women deal with ALL THE TIME.


  • Modern Love has been renewed for a second season on Amazon.


In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendar

Fox has announced its winter premiere dates:

  • Flirty Dancing (Dec. 29)
  • Last Man Standing (Jan. 2)
  • Deputy (Jan. 2)
  • Gordon Ramsay’s 24 Hours to Hell and Back (Jan. 7)
  • 9-1-1: Lone Star (Jan. 19, following the NFC Championship Game, and Jan. 20)
  • Outmatched (Jan. 23)
  • The Masked Singer (Feb. 2, following Super Bowl LIV)
  • LEGO Masters (Feb. 5)
  • Duncanville (Feb. 16).
  • Additionally, 9-1-1 and Empire will return in the spring, when new dramas Filthy Rich and neXt also will premiere.


  • The L Word: Generation Q will debut on Showtime on December 8.
  • The Aeronauts will premiere in theaters on December 6 and on Amazon on December 20.




BoJack Horseman: The first part of the final season is here. The second half will debut in January. Season premiere. Netflix

Dolemite Is My Name: Eddie Murphy stars in this biopic about Rudy Ray Moore. Netflix

The Kominsky Method: Season two. Netflix

Rattlesnake: A woman’s daughter is saved from a rattlesnake bite by a mysterious woman, and is forced to repay the debt in this horror film. Netflix

Prank Encounters: Gaten Matarazzo is your new Ashton Kuther. Series premiere. Netflix

World Series Game 3: Oh my God, Astros. 6:30 p.m., Fox


Saturday Night Live: Chance the Rapper. 10:30 p.m., NBC

Friday the 13th marathon: All your favorite Friday the 13th movies, including Jason Takes Manhattan. Begins at 8 a.m., IFC

World Series Game 4: YOU BETTER WIN THIS, ASTROS. 6:30 p.m., Fox


Silicon Valley: Richard’s promise to not collect user data is proving difficult to keep in the final season premiere. 9 p.m., HBO

Mrs. Fletcher: An empty-nester and her college freshman son undergo some … life changes in this new series starring the wonderful Kathryn Hahn. Series premiere. 9:30 p.m., HBO

World Series Game 5: Maybe. If they need it. Please need it.  6:30 p.m., Fox

The Walking Dead: “Silence the Whisperers.” 8 p.m., AMC

Watchmen: Angela relives a terrifying moment in her past. 8 p.m., HBO

Late Night:

  • Jimmy Kimmel Live (Friday): John Krasinski, the Sugarhill Gang
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: (Friday): Steve Carell
  • Watch What Happens Live (Sunday): Teresa & Joe Giudice


FRI. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC American Housewife
Fresh Off the Boat
CBS Hawaii Five-0
Magnum P.I.
Blue Bloods
CW Charmed
FOX World Series
NBC The Blacklist

SAT. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30 10:00 10:30 11:00 11:30
ABC College Football
CBS NCIS: New Orleans
48 Hours
48 Hours
FOX World Series
NBC The Voice
Dateline News/Local Saturday Night Live
(Chance the Rapper)

SUN. 6:00 6:30 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown! Kids Say the Darndest Things
Shark Tank
The Rookie
60 Minutes
God Friended Me
NCIS: Los Angeles
Madam Secretary
The CW Local Batwoman
FOX World Series (If Need Be)
NBC Sunday Night Football

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