The saga of Chris Cuomo, Fredo, Sean Hannity, Donald Goddamned Trump, the N-word and how we all, together, became a little bit stupider.

Because of the dumb times we live in, here goes: Some guy called CNN’s anchor and protein enthusiast Chris Cuomo “Fredo,” and Cuomo melted down, insisting that “Fredo” is the Italian “N-word,” and threatening to beat the man. Obviously, it was all caught on camera:

A couple of things: 1. Fredo is not the “Italian N-word.” Cuomo actually gets it right the first time: it’s an insult, but it’s about being the dumb brother. (Which, to be fair to the guy who called Chris Cuomo “Fredo,” Chris Cuomo is TOTALLY the Fredo in the Cuomo family. His brother is the governor of New York for crying out loud.)  2. But as John Mulaney once said, “when comparing the badness of two words, and you can’t say one of the words, that’s the worst one.”

But in Cuomo’s defense, this whole thing does totally feel like a dumb set-up, and CNN is defending him as is, ~checks notes, rubs eyes~ Sean Hannity?

Meanwhile, while the world burns, this very important issue has the undivided attention of the most powerful man on Earth. This is going to make for an awkward phone call with Hannity tonight:

And bless his heart, Dummy Jr. continues to be the actual Fredo in this whole mess:

And now let us never discuss Chris Cuomo again. 

Well, this is unexpected: Here are Aaron Rodgers and me, sharing the same brain when it comes to the ending of Game of Thrones:

“I think Sansa would have been super Thrones because she got into the game and she played it. She survived a lot of crap—Ramsay Bolton, all that garbage—but she played the game well. She told Tyrion what was going on with Jon—knew it would get back, knew that would stir some crap up. That would have been epic Thrones to have her on there after all that. I also think Arya, in her moment of triumph, there with the Hound, it would have been epic for her to take out Cersei, who I think got a soft [landing].”

Before the season started, I was calling for Sansa to take the Iron Throne for these exact same reasons. And while I still think Jaime needed to be the one to kill Cersei, I would have been fine with Arya taking the honors, because you’re right, Football Guy, Cersei did get a soft landing.

“I think there was such a buildup that some of the stuff wasn’t as believable or maybe as Thrones-y as it has been in previous seasons, such as the big battle with the White Walkers [in Episode 3]. I feel like that should have been a multiepisode one, possibly,” Rodgers said. “Or, more people should have died. Because they had so many characters left to resolve so they had to slam everything quick, quick, quick, because episodes were not two hours like we originally thought they were going to be.”

CORRECT. 75% MORE PEOPLE NEEDED TO DIE. ALSO, EPISODES NEEDED TO BE MUCH LONGER. AND WE NEEDED MANY MANY MORE OF THEM.

As for the Battle of Winterfell, the director of the episode, Miguel Sapochnik, said some words that might not make everyone particularly happy, especially those people who were bothered with how Arya got to the Night King in that climactic moment:

I questioned everything and we worked long and hard to find the right balance of credibility versus wish fulfillment. Then we shot it and reshot it and found that what was really important was rhythm. At one point there was an elaborate plan to have her fight her way into the Weirwood forest, but as we progressed we realized she’d already done that earlier in the episode, so it felt like a repeat. In the end we felt it didn’t matter how she got there — what mattered was setting up that moment when the Night King catches her mid-leap and we think she’s done for, then she pulls her knife switch and takes him out. I loved Maisie’s performance post the takedown as well, sharing a moment with her brother, Bran. That weary smile. “Not today.”

Yeah, look. I wasn’t bothered by them not showing Arya making her way to the Weirwood, but I get why other people were. And the thing is, we need to be honest here: they didn’t show her fighting her way in there because they wanted her attack on the Night King to be a surprise — we were expecting Jon but in comes Arya. Just admit it was about the shock and I think people will move on.

Oof, it’s going to cost HBO Max $1.5 BILLION WITH A B to secure the streaming rights to Two and a Half Men and The Big Bang Theory. Yikes.

Here’s the boss of Marvel TV talking about the future if you’re interested in Marvel TV productions.

And if you’re a Legion fan, here’s Noah Hawley talking about that series finale and time loops and all that. SPOILERS, Y’ALL.

Khaste Kardashian and Cousin Max got married. If those words mean nothing to you, don’t click through, but I, for one, am rooting for those crazy kids.

Tyler is still in the running to be the Bachelor (even though they just need to GIVE IT TO MIKE JOHNSON ALREADY), there are no plans for a gay Bachelor anytime soon and Chris Harrison thinks what Blake did to Caelynn was really shitty because IT WAS.

Friends will play in movie theaters in celebration of the show’s 25th anniversary because why wouldn’t you want to pay to go watch a TV show in a theater with a bunch of strangers, that just makes very good sense.

So, there’s a Sharknado theme park attraction now. It’s in Malaysia, and I can not for the life of me figure out … what it is? The video, which involves choreographed dancers, is not much help.

Time’s Up

Opera singer Placido Domingo has been accused by nine women of sexual harassment, “including one who said that he ‘stuck his hand down her skirt’ and others who claim that he ‘forced wet kisses on their lips.'” He claims that it was all consensual. OK. (And this was a VERY SERIOUS story, but this line from the story made me laugh: “Domingo, who exec produced 1998 Mexican film The Other Conquest and was a voice star of Disney’s Beverly Hills Chihuahua, has denied the claims.”)

Josh Kloss, a male model who worked on Katy Perry’s video for “Teenage Dream” claims that the singer sexually harassed him by grabbing his pants to show her friends his penis. Oh, Katy. This is really not good.

View this post on Instagram

You know. After I met Katy, we sang a worship song, “open the eyes of my heart” She was cool and kind. When other people were around she was cold as ice even called the act of kissing me “gross” to the entire set while filming. Now I was pretty embarrassed but kept giving my all, as my ex was busy cheating on me and my daughter was just a toddler, I knew I had to endure for her sake. After the first day of shooting, Katy invited me to a strip club in Santa Barbara. I declined and told her “I have to go back to hotel and rest, because this job is all I have right now” So I saw Katy a couple times after her break up with Russel. This one time I brought a friend who was dying to meet her. It was Johny Wujek’s birthday party at moonlight roller way. And when I saw her, we hugged and she was still my crush. But as I turned to introduce my friend, she pulled my Adidas sweats and underwear out as far as she could to show a couple of her guy friends and the crowd around us, my penis. Can you imagine how pathetic and embarrassed i felt? I just say this now because our culture is set on proving men of power are perverse. But females with power are just as disgusting. So for all her good she is an amazing leader, hers songs are mainly great empowering anthems. And that is it. I continued to watch her use clips of her music videos for her world tour and then her dvd, only highlighting one of her male co-stars, and it was me. I made around 650 in total off of teenage dream. I was lorded over by her reps, about not discussing a single thing about anything regarding Katy publicly. And a couple interviews they edited and answered for me. So, happy anniversary to one of the most confusing, assaulting, and belittling jobs I’ve ever done. Yay #teenagedream I was actually gonna play the song and sing it on ukele for the anniversary, but then as I was tuning I thought, fuck this, I’m not helping her bs image another second.

A post shared by Joshkloss (@iamjoshkloss) on

As I noted yesterday when I mentioned that Missy Elliott would receive the Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award at the VMAs this year, maybe the name of the award should be reconsidered? Wade Robson, it should come as no surprise, agrees with me: “’I don’t personally need MTV to do one thing or the other, but as child abuse survivors all over the world watch to see whether society will support them or not if they have the courage to come forward, in that regard, it’s an unfortunate choice,’ Robson told TheWrap Monday.”

More on the Jeffrey Epstein situation: The FBI raided his private island in the Virgin Islands yesterday. I MEAN, WHAT TOOK THEM SO LONG? DID THEY WALK THERE? Epstein had an accomplice, a monster named Ghislaine Maxwell, who would help him procure young girls, and no one knows where she is. (Also, there’s a good story about Donald Bankrupt Trump in here.) Gloria Allred is going to find you, Ghislaine.

Bill Cosby’s appeal doesn’t seem to be off to a good start. GOOD. STAY THERE.

Hannah Gadsby says there is a path for redemption for Louis C.K., he’s just not taking it.

“There’s a clear path to redemption, he’s just not taking it. He’s being self-indulgent and he’s being a cry baby. That’s not a path to redemption, that’s just throwing a tantrum for the tantrum itself.”

“You can apply it to anyone. I just think there’s an issue at large, and it goes across all issues of representation. I think because we think about men as the default, they don’t know how to let other people talk about their experiences without centering themselves. And that runs deeper than two lonely comedians.”

Renewals

  • Good Eats: Reloaded has been renewed at Cooking Channel (whoops — I might have earlier written that it was at Food Network).

In Development

Casting News

 Mark Your Calendars

WATCH THIS

America’s Got Talent: The show goes live. 7 p.m., NBC

Tiffany Haddish Presents: They Ready: Tiffany Haddish introduces new stand-up comics in this new series. Netflix

Adam Ruins Everything: Adam ruins America — as if that’s even possible anymore. Season premiere. 9 p.m., TruTV

Mysteries Decoded: Lizzie Borden is the first subject of this new series that explores old mysteries using high-tech tools. Series premiere. 8 p.m., The CW

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Henry Golding, Jonathan Groff, Rick Ross featuring Swizz Beatz
  • Late Night with Seth Meyers: Danny McBride, Yvonne Strahovski, Marianne Williamson, Nate Smith
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Jada Pinkett Smith, Rep. Ayanna Pressley, Goo Goo Dolls
  • The Late Late Show with James Corden: David Oyelowo, Alfie Allen
  • Jimmy Kimmel Live: Henry Winkler, Roselyn Sanchez, Daniel Caesar
  • The Daily Show: Burna Boy
  • Lights Out with David Spade: Dennis Miller, Jo Koy, Punkie Johnson
  • Watch What Happens Live: Betty Gilpin, Tamra Judge

 

TUES. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Bachelor in Paradise
(new)
Bless This Mess
(repeat)
black-ish
(repeat)
CBS NCIS
(repeat)
FBI
(repeat)
NCIS: New Orleans
(repeat)
CW Pandora
(new)
Mysteries Decoded
(new)
Local
FOX Spin the Wheel
(repeat)
First Responders Live
(new)
News/Local
NBC America’s Got Talent
(new)
Bring the Funny
(new)

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