Obama is coming back to be the President of your TV.

 

THIS IS NOT A DRILL: THE OBAMAS ARE COMING TO NETFLIX. Well, I mean, it’s not a done deal yet, but it might as well be.

Sadly, they aren’t planning to do a show in which they just dunk on Trump all of the time — but if they did it would be THE MOST WATCHED THING EVER SO MAYBE THINK ABOUT IT, BARRY? Instead, they plan to tell “inspirational stories” and maybe he would host a show where he would moderate conversations about political topics. Michelle is thinking about a show that would focus on her core interests like health and nutrition.  While that’s not as good as making Cheeto dick jokes, I think we can all agree that we could use a little bit of Obama-style uplifting these days.

But I can’t help but wonder if this isn’t a subtle ploy on the Obamas part to get inside Turnip’s brain and manipulate him into doing their bidding. Their upcoming books aren’t going to be read by him, but we all know how he spends “Executive Time,” and there is NO WAY he’ll be able to resist watching.

Netflix Facebook is also planning to stream 25 daytime MLB games a week. Which is kinda a big deal.

Looking to launch a boycott against a cable news company? I’ve got your starter kit right here: the list of the biggest advertisers on CNN, Fox News, MSNBC, and for Sean Hannity, Rachel Maddow and Anderson Cooper. Apparently, Fox News viewers are looking to shed a few pounds, MSNBC viewers are in the market for a new car, and psoriasis is the one thing that unites us as a country.

No, Jessica Capshaw and Sarah Drew are not leaving Grey’s because of Ellen Pompeo’s pay raise, and it’s pretty gross and sexist to suggest that.

We pretty much know who is going to be the Joker on Gotham and it’s basically a classic soap opera ploy.

Teri Hatcher is up for a Desperate Housewives reboot that no one asked for.

People are overthinking this Fear the Walking Dead photo.

Oh my God, do you know what this means? It means Liz and Liz exist in the Portlandia universe. MIND. BLOWN.

Vulture has some other ideas for American Crime Story, but somehow they left off American Horror Story: Frances McDormand’s Oscar.

Gretchen Carlson is apparently returning to TV but she’s being really coy about it.

Aw, this Glee reunion photo is actually making my cold heart feel things.

It’s a GLEE-Union!! What a beautiful night hangin with my old kids & new kid! Ohana…

A post shared by Matthew Morrison (@_matthew.morrison_) on

Grabby Monsters

American Idol is standing by Ryan Seacrest, which is not surprising in the least considering they have already filmed 12 episodes and he cost a fucking fortune.

Mark Cuban might be in trouble after all. The NBA is looking into it.

Lisa Bonet has something to say about Bill Cosby.

Oprah knows why Harvey Weinstein launched the #MeToo movement: because famous people were involved. (It’s entirely true.)

The Korean actor Jo Min-ki is suspected of killing himself after allegations that he molested several of his students were made.

Fox News has settled their lawsuit with Diana Falzone.

Louie was not pulled off of Hulu because Louis CK is a gross man, its license just expired.

This Instagram account is naming names in the advertising industry.

Renewals

Cancellations

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendar

R.I.P.

WATCH THIS

FRIDAY

Collateral: A British detective uncovers a conspiracy while investigating the murder of a pizza delivery guy in this new series. Series premiere. Netflix

Nailed It: If you like cakewrecks.com — and who doesn’t? — you’re going to enjoy this new baking competition series. Netflix

Sneaky Pete: Season two. Amazon

Dynasty: The CW has moved their not particularly successful soap to a Friday night grave. 7 p.m., The CW

SATURDAY

Saturday Night Live: Sterling K. Brown & James Bay 10:30 p.m., NBC

WALL-E: I genuinely think this and Up are Pixar’s two greatest accomplishments. FINE, Toy Story 3, too. 6 p.m., Starz Family

Moulin Rouge: In the event that the Winter Olympics Ice Dancing made you want to watch this again. 9 p.m., Starz Cinema

SUNDAY

Timeless: And we’re back! Improbably! And Lucy is hanging out with Marie Curie! Season premiere. 9 p.m., NBC

American Idol: And we’re back! Improbably! And on a different network! 7 p.m., ABC

O.J. Simpson: The Lost Confession: And he’s back. Improbably. In an interview that probably should not see the light of day. Here’s to hoping Fox is donating all the ad proceeds to the Brown and Goldman families. 7 p.m., Fox

Deception: In this new series, a magician — SORRY, ILLUSIONIST, MICHAEL — teams up with the FBI to catch criminals with card tricks or something. Series premiere. 9 p.m., ABC

Late Night: Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (Friday): Drew Barrymore, Josh Radnor, Kelsey Cook The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: (Friday): Helen Mirren, David Byrne

 

FRI. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Once Upon a Time
(new)
Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
(new)
20/20
(new)
CBS MacGyver
(new)
Hawaii Five-0
(new)
Blue Bloods
(new)
CW Dynasty
(new)
Jane the Virgin
(new)
Local
FOX MasterChef Junior
(new)
9-1-1
(repeat)
Local
NBC Blindspot
(new)
Taken
(new)
Dateline
(new)

SAT. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30 10:00 10:30 11:00 11:30
ABC NBA Basketball News/Local
CBS NCIS
(repeat)
NCIS: New Orleans
(repeat)
48 Hours
(new)
News/Local
FOX College Basketball
(live)
College Basketball
(live)
Showtime at the Apollo
(repeat)
News/Local
NBC Will & Grace
(repeat)
Superstore
(repeat)
Dateline
(repeat)
Saturday Night Live
(repeat)
News/Local Saturday Night Live
(Sterling K. Brown & James Bay)

SUN. 6:00 6:30 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC America’s Funniest Home Videos
(new)
American Idol
(new)
Deception
(new)
CBS 60 Minutes
(new)
60 Minutes
(new)
NCIS: Los Angeles
(new)
Madam Secretary
(new)
FOX Bob’s Burgers
(repeat)
Bob’s Burgers
(new)
O.J. Simpson: The Lost Confession?
(new)
Local/News
NBC American Ninja Warrior
(new)
Timeless
(new)

 

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