Sit down, because it’s once again time for me to remind you how ‘Lost’ changed television.

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The NFL is more outraged by pot than compulsive sexual assault. Sounds about right.

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UPDATED WITH DATES: What You’ll Be Watching on ABC This Fall

Welcome back to a proper Upfronts season, the moment when network TV reveals all their secret plans for the fall television season (such as it is anymore). In the wake of a destructive pandemic and in the face of the inevitable takeover of streaming, networks are playing it safer and safer: canceling fewer shows, ordering fewer comedies, and greenlighting familiar titles.

ABC remembered how Upfronts worked! There are promotional photos! There are teaser trailers! There is a schedule! Give ABC a sticker!

That said, ABC is playing it VERY safe this season. They have picked up three crime dramas that are structurally similar to other successful ABC projects, one comedy that sounds a lot like a very popular series on another network, and yet another “Celebrity” version of a daytime game show.

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The end of the TV season is upon us. Here’s what you watched … and what you did not.

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I want you to guess how many TV shows there are out there right now. Go ahead, guess.

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If I start sitting on my dragon eggs now, do you think they’ll hatch by August?

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The Oscars are going to allow Twitter to name a ‘fan favorite’ movie. What could go wrong?

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