It’s Wednesday. And this weirdo dog is weird:
Bridgerton is officially the most-watched series on Netflix ever; and A Teacher is FX on Hulu’s biggest hit. Female viewership drives the numbers, guys.
Amanda Gorman, the poet laureate and the true star of last week’s inauguration, will be reading a poem honoring the heroes of the pandemic at the Super Bowl and it will air during the broadcast. Serious question: Is this the first time poetry has been read at any football game ever? Because as an English major, I have to say this is pretty cool.
Don’t worry, Kenan Thompson and Chris Redd are not giving up their sweet-ass gig on Saturday Night Live for a sitcom that may or may not work out in the end.
Modern Family will be streaming on both Peacock and Hulu. I hope Peacock got it for a deal because the value of these deals lays in the exclusivity.
Networks and late night showrunners are super pissed at the Television Academy’s decision to throw late night and sketch comedy shows together into one category. Because Saturday Night Live is definitely going to be nominated, which means that some late night show will lose out on a slot.
Hey, Roku users: you can now stream IMDb TV, Amazon’s free streaming service.
Um …. Legacies is doing a Vampire Diaries musical? You know what? If Supernatural can do a Supernatural musical, why not, right?
I’m just doing a check-in today, but I anticipate doing a lot more political coverage when the Senate impeachment trial begins in a couple of weeks. As for now, I just want to keep everyone appraised as to what the fuck is going on in here on this day.
Last we left off, Joe Biden and Kamala Harris were sworn in as the President and the Vice President of the United States, despite assurances from QAnon loons that they would, along with Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, and every other evil Democrat, be swept up in a mass arrest and sent to Gitmo. It’s been a week, and last I checked, President Biden is still not in jail.
And since then, President Biden has been signing a bunch of executive orders that unfuck the fuckery President White Supremacist’s executive orders put into place. He undid the Muslim travel ban, he rejoined the Paris Climate Agreement, he included undocumented immigrants back into the census, he canceled the Keystone pipeline, he reinstated transgender troops, he banned discrimination based on gender identity and sexual orientation in federal jobs, he pulled funding from the border wall, he reaffirmed DACA, he expanded food assistance programs, he strengthened federal requirements to buy American products, and yesterday he signed a bunch of orders designed to address racial inequity, including pausing the renewal of private prison contracts and an evaluation of how the previous administration violated the Fair Housing Laws.
Oh, and Harriet Tubman is going to be on the $20 bill and the stupid 1776 Project which was meant to teach school kids that slavery was really no biggie in the whole scheme of things and the civil rights movement ran counter to the founders’ ideals, that’s in the trash where it belongs. I just wish I could have been there to watch Stephen Miller weep as his life’s work was hauled out to the dumpster.
But President Biden can’t turn this shit show around through executive order alone. He’s put out a $1.9 trillion proposal to deal with the COVID crisis that he’s asked Congress to pass, and they’re haggling over it now. Republicans are balking at the price tag — which admittedly is pretty high, but I would like to know where these deficit hawks were for the last four years when their unnecessary tax cuts and wild spending ballooned our debt by nearly $8 trillion — but Democrats are threatening to pass it without 60 votes using the reconciliation process. STAY TUNED.
Meanwhile, Congress is also dealing with Impeachment 2: 2 Fast 2 Furious. The House delivered the charge against Former President Historic For All the Wrong Reasons to the Senate on Monday, and the trial is set to begin on February 9. Yesterday, Republicans tried to kill the Senate trial, introducing a resolution to dismiss the proceeding as unconstitutional because Former Worst-President-Ever is no longer in office. It failed, but only five (5) Republicans voted against it.
A few things about this:
- The premise that an impeachment trial against a politician who is no longer in office is unconstitutional is not, in fact, true. In 1876, Secretary of War William Belknap was about to be impeached for being a corrupt piece of shit when he gave his letter of resignation to resident Ulysses S. Grant. But guess what? The House still impeached him and the Senate still held a trial even though he was no longer in office.
But leaving the precedent aside, think about what it would mean for it to be unconstitutional for a former officeholder to be impeached or convicted: an outgoing President or attorney general or a federal judge who had resigned could do whatever they wanted in the weeks ahead of their leaving office and not have to pay any sort of political price for it. That can not be what the founders intended or wanted and it’s flatly batshit insane. If you can’t be impeached for instigating an insurrection for the purpose of keeping you illegally in office, then why even have the tool of impeachment?
- One of the Republican Senators who voted that impeachment of Former President Orange Smear is unconstitutional because he’s already out of office was one Mitch Fucking McConnell — the same man who refused to speed up an impeachment calendar so that a trial could take place while Former President Insurrectionist was still in office. Think about that: McConnell was singularly responsible for holding back a Senate trial until Former President Shitstain was out of office and then voted along with the rest of the Republicans that it was too late to hold a trial. You almost have to admire his complete lack of morality.
- The real motivation behind this vote was to tie Republicans to an acquittal down the road once the trial actually happens. For a conviction, Democrats would need to find 17 Republicans who actually love this country and democracy and are not terrified of Former President Superspreader. Yesterday proved there are only 5. Now, Republicans Rob Portman and John Thune are making noises that they may change their vote — and that McConnell might, too, but come on. We all know how this story is going to end.
Who knows, maybe in the next several days more evidence will emerge that might change some Republican minds. I, for one, would certainly consider issuing this gentleman a subpoena if only to learn which Senators — jurors in the trial — were in that room:
This guy (Daniel Beck) says several senators, Don Jr, Rudy, etc attended a January 5 pre-Insurrection meeting at Trump International Hotel.
No wonder they don’t want to have an impeachment trial… pic.twitter.com/4Y0YrxRFgz
— Rex Chapman🏇🏼 (@RexChapman) January 27, 2021
But considering these cowards WERE IN THE BUILDING WHILE IT WAS BEING ATTACKED BY LUNATICS WANTING TO KILL THEM and they STILL voted to dismiss the impeachment trial, it doesn’t give me a whole lot of hope, guys.
It also doesn’t give me a whole lot of hope that one of the instigators — and, again, jurors — Missouri Senator Josh Hawley, once defended Mark Fuhrman as not really being a racist and, more horrifically but possibly prophetically, militia groups after the Oklahoma City bombing. Sure, he was in high school when he wrote these things, but show me how you think his positions have changed and matured since then. I’ll wait. (He says he’s not running for the White House in 2024. Sure, Jan.)
Hawley’s assurance that he’s not running for president in 2024 reminds me of this campaign ad he released while running for Missouri AG in 2016 criticizing those “just climbing the political ladder.” And as we all know, Hawley is still the Missouri AG. https://t.co/rwSFm6maf3
— Brian Tyler Cohen (@briantylercohen) January 27, 2021
Meanwhile in crazy news from the House side: on her Facebook page, freshman Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene endorsed some completely batshit insane theories about Hillary Clinton and liked posts calling for the execution of Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, Barack Obama, and FBI agents.
Greene is also a backer of the violent and absurd “Frazzledrip” conspiracy theory, which is linked to QAnon and Pizzagate and essentially claims that Hillary Clinton and former aide Huma Abedin sexually assaulted a child, filleted her face, wore her face like a mask, and then drank her blood as part of a satanic ritual to ingest something called adrenochrome.
Greene endorsed the conspiracy theory on Facebook in May 2018. She posted a picture of the mother of slain New York Police Department Detective Miosotis Familia with former President Donald Trump. A commenter wrote: “This is the mother of a NYPD officer who watched a horrific video seized on anthony weiners laptop of huma and hillary filleting a childs face. This was another hillary hit.” Greene liked that comment and replied: “Yes Familia.” She added in another comment: “I post things sometimes to see who knows things. Most the time people don’t. I’m glad to see your comment. I’ve decided it’s time to start doing a lot more videos and engage further in the fight. Most people honestly don’t know so much. The [mainstream media] disinformation warfare has won for too long!”
In one post, from January 2019, Greene liked a comment that said “a bullet to the head would be quicker” to remove House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. In other posts, Greene liked comments about executing FBI agents who, in her eyes, were part of the “deep state” working against Trump.
In one Facebook post from April 2018, Greene wrote conspiratorially about the Iran Deal, one of former President Barack Obama’s signature foreign policy achievements. A commenter asked Greene, “Now do we get to hang them ?? Meaning H & O ???,” referring to Obama and Hillary Clinton.
Greene replied, “Stage is being set. Players are being put in place. We must be patient. This must be done perfectly or liberal judges would let them off.”
But don’t worry, guys, House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy is going to “have a conversation” with her.
Some Former President Stinky Fingers administration officials are making the inevitable transition to Fox News: Larry Kudlow is getting his own Fox Business show, and Kayleigh McEnany is in talks to join the network.
In actual good news: the My Pillow Guy has been banned from Twitter, and Rudy Giuliani has been sued for OVER ONE BILLION DOLLARS by Dominion Voting Systems and I can not stop laughing.
Worldwide, we have surpassed 100 million cases and over 2 million deaths. Here in the States, we lost over 4,000 people yesterday. Still, while deaths continue to rise, the hospitalizations and cases are continuing to drop, so that’s good news.
Also good news: President Biden is securing a deal to order 200 more vaccines to be delivered by the summer, enough to vaccinate 300 Americans. And this is terrific news! The question is: why didn’t Former President Pathologically Inept do it months ago? Think how much farther along we might be if Former President Pustule had been more concerned with the virus and the vaccine than the election that he lost fair and square.
Sekou Smith, who covered the NBA for more than twenty years, died of COVID-19. He was 48.
Tyler Perry received the vaccine and turned it into a BET special to encourage the Black community — some of whom are skeptical — to receive it, too. COVID-19 Vaccine and the Black Community A Tyler Perry Special will air tomorrow night on BET.
Well, this is disgusting: a wealthy casino executive and his young wife flew a chartered plane to the Yukon where they posed as motel workers to get the vaccine that was allocated for Indigenous elders. They are facing some fines that they can easily pay but they should spend some time in jail.
Hey friends in the Harris County area: you can now register for the vaccine. You might not be scheduled to receive it for weeks or months, but hey, if you can get on the list you should. Full disclosure: the site has reportedly had some hiccups, and has crashed on some people I know. Personally, I have tried to register, but it won’t allow me to go to the actual registration page. I suspect that’s because I don’t qualify as an essential worker or have any preexisting conditions. But if you do — go sign up already!
The film and TV industry is slowly finding less expensive alternatives to COVID safety procedures. This is important because COVID has added a huge amount to production costs — 20-30% — and in many cases has been the difference between a project being made or not.
The delay of the James Bond film, No Time To Die, is creating issues for the brands who paid for product placements in the movie — basically, the products will be well over a year out of date by the time the movie is finally released. You hate to laugh …
- The Blacklist has been renewed for a ninth season at NBC.
- Too Hot to Handle has been renewed for two more seasons at Netflix.
- State of the Union has been renewed for a second season at Sundance TV.
- The Great Gatsby is being turned into a series by A+E Studios.
- Dugout Moms, a comedy series from Damon Wayans Jr.’s production company, is being developed at ABC.
- The third season of the podcast Serial is being turned into a limited series by HBO and produced by LeBron James.
- The Fact Of A Body is being adapted into a series at HBO.
- Outlawed is being adapted into a series by Amy Adams’ production company.
- Mother Daughter Widow Wife is being adapted into a limited series.
- The Disciple, a film that debuted at the Venice Film Festival, has been bought by Netflix.
- Her Name Is Knight is being adapted into a TV series.
- This is Music, an anthology series from David Byrne and Wim Wenders, is being shopped around.
- Jamie Dornan will star in The Tourist on HBO Max.
- Michael Stahl-David has been cast in the lead of Good Sam on CBS.
- Tian Richards has been cast as the lead in Tom Swift on The CW.
- Wayne Brady will appear in American Gigolo on Showtime.
- Douglas Smith has been added to the cast of Clarice on CBS.
- Jen Landon is joining FBI: Most Wanted on CBS.
- Kristine Froseth and Jayme Lawson are joining The First Lady on Showtime.
- Tom Llamas is leaving ABC News for NBC News.
Mark Your Calendars
- Debris will premiere on NBC on March 1.
- Young Rock will premiere on NBC on February 16.
- Kenan will premiere on NBC on Febraury 16.
- Crime Scene: The Vanishing at the Cecil Hotel will debut on Netflix on February 10 and I will absolutely be watching it.
- There Is No ‘I’ in Threesome will premiere on HBO Max on February 11.
- Bulletproof will return on The CW on March 15.
- Romeo and Juliet will air on PBS in April.
- Beach Cabana Royale will debut on Discovery+ on February 2.
- Exterminate All the Brutes will debut on HBO on April 7.
- Cocktails and Tall Tales With Ina Garten and Melissa McCarthy will premiere on Discovery+ on March 26.
- People Presents: Harry & Meghan’s American Dream will air on The CW on March 30 and People Presents: William & Kate’s Royal Anniversary will air on April 29.
- Godzilla vs. Kong has been pushed back to March 31 on HBO Max and in theaters.
Bruce Kirby, Character actor who worked for decades, appearing in everything from Goodyear Playhouse to The Patty Duke Show and I Dream of Jeannie to The Mary Tyler Moore Show, and The Bob Newhart Show to L.A. Law, The Sopranos, and Scrubs. He is the father of actor Bruno Kirby.
Resident Alien: Alan Tudyk is an alien disguised as a human in this new comedy. That’s on brand. Series premiere. 9 p.m., Syfy
For Life: The virus hits the prison. Winter premiere. 9 p.m., ABC
Bonding: Tiff and Pete try to rebuild their reputations within the BDSM community. Season two. Netflix
- Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Rami Malek, Bridget Everett, Jesus Trejo
- Late Night with Seth Meyers: Stanley Tucci, Kate Berlant, Jacqueline Novak
- The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Billy Crystal, Rep. Jackie Speier
- The Late Late Show with James Corden: Adam Devine, BLACKPINK
- Jimmy Kimmel Live: Naomi Watts, Leslie Odom Jr.
- The Daily Show: The Daily Social Distancing Show
- Conan: George Wallace
- Watch What Happens Live: Gina Kirschenheiter, Whitney Rose
- A Little Late with Lily Singh: Vir Das
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