It’s Monday, and Bean Dad was a week ago.
And because I know you need it, I’m going to point you in the direction of a wonderful site: OpenPuppies.com. It’s just doggo gifs. That’s it. Hit the space bar: new doggo gif. See? The internet is for something other than inspiring an overthrow of the government!
OK, A LOT HAS BEEN HAPPENING SINCE WE WERE LAST HERE.
Before we begin, I urge you to read this New York Times Magazine piece written by Tim Snyder, a Yale history professor, about The Big Lie, fascism, post-truth, and why we face grave danger if we don’t punish those responsible for the events of January 6. It’s a long piece, but makes some very cogent arguments and helps explain in fairly simple terms how we came to this place where the fringe has overtaken the more rational part of the Republican party. I’ve personally experienced people in my life choosing to believe what “feels” real to them over reality, and it’s not dangerous in some hypothetical way. The consequences are real and threaten all of us. (And then when you’re done reading it, go back and click on OpenPuppies.com for a little while.)
The House has introduced an article of impeachment against President Inciter because, you know, he encouraged a violent overthrow of the Capitol and maybe not-so-secretly wished they would murder his Vice President and the Speaker of the House and whoever else they could get their hands on. They intend to vote on by Wednesday it if Vice President Capuccino Foam doesn’t 25th Amendment his ass by tomorrow. As for whether the Senate will realistically convict him? Who knows, but what it will do is force Senate Republicans to vote on whether or not they support a violent insurrection on our government, so it’s a win regardless.
And Capitol Police Officer Eugene Goodman is being recognized as a hero after antagonizing and leading a large group of rioters away from the Senate, and giving the Senators in that room the 60 extra seconds they needed to make their escape. This man’s bravery makes me want to cry if I think about it for too long.
This guy is an absolute hero. https://t.co/7hvP08Yk1T
— Ryan Clinton (@ryanclinton) January 10, 2021
Here’s the scary moment when protesters initially got into the building from the first floor and made their way outside Senate chamber. pic.twitter.com/CfVIBsgywK
— Igor Bobic (@igorbobic) January 6, 2021
Officer Eugene Goodman stopped a mob of white rioters from entering the chambers of the United States Senate.
At this perilous moment in our nation’s history, he was the one person standing between democracy and the rule of tyrants.
(Photo Credit: New York Times) pic.twitter.com/vTjvVp9SLe
— Christopher J. Hale (@chrisjollyhale) January 10, 2021
Capitol Police Chief Steven Sund is saying that when he called for National Guard troops to provide backup after the Capitol was stormed, a top Army official refused and told him “I don’t like the visual of the National Guard standing a police line with the Capitol in the background.” That’s not great.
Arnold Schwarzenegger has something to say. Come for the comparisons to Nazis, stay for the Conan sword.
My message to my fellow Americans and friends around the world following this week's attack on the Capitol. pic.twitter.com/blOy35LWJ5
— Arnold (@Schwarzenegger) January 10, 2021
And look who’s decided to pop in with the most tone-deaf, “PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEEEEE!” statement about what happened on Wednesday. You can read the whole thing here, but this is the pertinent part:
Most recently, my heart goes out to: Air Force Veteran, Ashli Babbitt, Benjamin Philips, Kevin Greeson, Roseanne Boyland, and Capitol Police Officers, Brian Sicknick and Howard Liebengood. I pray for their families comfort and strength during this difficult time.
I am disappointed and disheartened with what happened last week. I find it shameful that surrounding these tragic events there has been salacious gossip, unwarranted personal attacks, and false misleading accusations on me – from people who are looking to be relevant and have an agenda. This time is solely about healing our country and its citizens. It should not be used for personal gain.
Our Nation must heal in a civil manner. Make no mistake about it, I absolutely condemn the violence that has occurred on our Nation’s Capitol. Violence is never acceptable.
As an American, I am proud of our freedom to express our viewpoints without persecution. It is one of the paramount ideals which America is fundamentally built on. Many have made the ultimate sacrifice to protect that right. With that in mind, I would like to call on the citizens of this country to take a moment, pause, and look at things from all perspectives.
- Take your “all perspectives” and shove it up your ass, Melania.
- THIS ISN’T ABOUT YOU. WHO CARES WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW, ASSHOLE? “Unwarranted personal attacks and false misleading accusations on me … ” JESUS, WOMAN, READ THE FUCKING ROOM.
Twitter kicked President Twatsalot off of its platform indefinitely. They are also locking down accounts of Qanon loonies and people calling for violent insurrection. The response on the right has been “OH NOOOOOOO! WHERE ARE ALL MAH FOLLOWERS???”
This is how you create an echo chamber… pic.twitter.com/aPDA37qKS0
— Mike Pompeo (@mikepompeo) January 9, 2021
I’ve lost 50k+ followers this week. The radical left and their big tech allies cannot marginalize, censor, or silence the American people. This is not China, this is United States of America, and we are a free country. https://t.co/Xupd0N1hea
— Sarah Huckabee Sanders (@SarahHuckabee) January 9, 2021
I have lost 8,000 followers on this twitter account in one day. Apple, Google, Facebook, & others have cancelled many conservatives. Last night was cyber god’s Kristallnacht! https://t.co/CrIwrWNAaq
— Steve King (@SteveKingIA) January 10, 2021
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE THE CONNECTION?
The right-wing alternative to Twitter, Parler, was kicked off of Google Play, the Apple App store, and then, finally, Amazon’s web hosting services. LOL. There are also multiple reports that white hat internet hackers have been able to hack into Parler, and recover millions and millions of posts, videos and deleted posts, and are turning them over to law enforcement, but until that is reported by mainstream media, take this story with a grain of salt.
Some business are halting donations to any members of Congress who did not certify the election, including: Dow; Morgan Stanley; Marriott; and Hallmark. Meanwhile, some other spineless companies like Facebook; Citigroup; and JP Morgan are halting donations to both parties as if this is a both sides issues.
— Blond Ambition (@BL0NDAMBITION) January 10, 2021
Don’t forget: we are actually in the middle of the worst part of a deadly pandemic. We are quickly nearing 400,000 American deaths from COVID-19, and hitting over 20,000 deaths a week, and over 300,000 new cases A DAY. And our vaccine rollout continues to be a mess. There are 40 million doses just sitting on shelves because there was NO PLAN.
During the siege, Republican Congressional members were seen waving off masks while they hid from the terrorists, because OF COURSE THEY DID.
Here we have members of Congress refusing to wear masks while they’re indoors and in an enclosed space with many others.
— Yashar Ali 🐘 (@yashar) January 8, 2021
And now The Attending Physician of the United States Congress has written a memo to the members of Congress, warning them that they’ve probably been exposed to the virus because UH DUH. These goddamned selfish science-denying motherfuckers.
And seconds after I typed the above: a 75-year-old Congresswoman and cancer survivor has tested positive. GREAT JOB, EVERYBODY!
Dr. Payman Simoni, a plastic surgeon who had appeared on The Doctors, has died of COVID-19 after a patient coughed in his face. WEAR A MASK, ASSHOLES. Also, don’t get elective plastic surgery right now, maybe?
We’re not all terrible. 25 thousand of us left messages to Aunt Sue:
When Sue came to our facility, she told everyone to call her “Aunt Sue” because “everybody does”. She’s recovering from Covid (although not out of the woods yet) and today is her birthday. She’s 101 and beat me at dominoes. Any chance I could get some birthday wishes for her? ❤️ pic.twitter.com/5Ffgq8ArPD
— LyndaG (@LyndaSGayle1) January 9, 2021
Is watching group scenes on TV as weird for you as it is for some of us? I watch General Hospital pretty regularly, and while they’ve cut all kissing scenes, for instance, they do imply characters are kissing by bringing their heads together very closely before cutting away, and I’m still like, “THEY’RE JUST BREATHING INTO EACH OTHER’S OPEN MOUTHS! HOW IS THIS BETTER?!”
Barry seasons 3 and 4 are written and ready to go, but the stupid pandemic is hampering filming.
All Other TV News
And the door isn’t shut on reviving the Netflix Marvel series, including Daredevil, Jessica Jones, and Luke Cage (interestingly, there’s no mention of The Punisher here). Stay tuned.
Here’s Sean Hannity debunking a “menacing” internet joke about Olive Garden revoking his “Lifetime Pasta Pass.” VERY IMPORTANT. DEFINITELY NEED TO SPEND TIME ON THIS RIGHT ABOUT NOW.
— Oliver Darcy (@oliverdarcy) January 9, 2021
Hey, all of the college kids who definitely check out this blog: Hulu is offering a subscription to you guys for $2 a month. (But it’s the ad-supported level, so get used to commercials.)
Well done, 21c Museum Hotel in Lexington, KY! This is gorgeous!
Carrie, Miranda, and Charlotte in the first episode without Samantha. pic.twitter.com/9FZBKeTFQM
— johnny (@justjohnny81) January 11, 2021
This is not a joke: Replace Samantha with Miss Piggy. https://t.co/G5Wnc4jtyL
— Daniel Kibblesmith (@kibblesmith) January 11, 2021
I hope Samantha found a friend group that doesn't spend a majority of brunch slut-shaming her.
— Gabe González (@gaybonez) January 10, 2021
I’M NOT CRYING YOUR STUPID FACE IS CRYING.
Simply the best.
Thank you, Alex. pic.twitter.com/GgXbV4AWMt
— Jeopardy! (@Jeopardy) January 8, 2021
- Sex and the City: And Just Like That … has been ordered at HBO Max. Kim Cattrall will not return.
- Lincoln Lawyer, which did not go forward at CBS, has landed at Netflix.
- Pistol, a six-episode limited series about the Sex Pistols has been ordered at FX.
- Green Arrow and the Canaries is not going forward at The CW.
- Keegan-Michael Key is going to star in August Snow on ABC.
- Skye P. Marshall is set to co-star on the CBS family medical drama Good Sam.
- Justin Cornwell; Justin H. Min; Britne Oldford; Jake Epstein; Genesis Rodriguez; Cazzie David; and an existential dread-inducing psykronium cube have been cast as the Sparrows on The Umbrella Academy.
- Meghan Leathers and Candice Coke have been cast in Kevin Can F*** Himself on AMC.
- Camille Guaty is joining the cast of The Rookie.
Mark Your Calendar
- Clarice premieres on CBS on February 11.
— Clarice (@ClariceCBS) January 11, 2021
- The Equalizer will debut on CBS on February 7, after the Super Bowl.
— The Equalizer (@TheEqualizerCBS) January 9, 2021
- Men in Kilts will debut on Starz on February 14.
A journey through Scotland unlike any other. Watch the official trailer for #MenInKilts: A Roadtrip with Sam and Graham, premiering this Valentine’s Day on @STARZ. https://t.co/WzqCuSz7wd pic.twitter.com/qy066OrkIK
— Men in Kilts: A Roadtrip with Sam and Graham (@MenInKiltsSTARZ) January 8, 2021
- Young Rock will debut on NBC soon.
— NBC Entertainment (@nbc) January 10, 2021
- Losing Alice will debut on Apple TV+ on January 22.
- Penguin Bloom will debut on Netflix on January 27.
- Cherry will debut on Apple TV+ soon.
- Finding ‘Ohana will premiere on Netflix on January 29.
- Kamp Koral: Spongebob’s Under Years will debut on Paramount+ soon.
- The Event will debut on HBO Max on January 14.
- American Gangster: Trap Queens will return on BET+ on January 14.
- Are You Afraid of the Dark? will return on Nickelodeon on February 12.
- Squish is now streaming on HBO Max.
- Dogs Playing Poker, a series of animated shorts produced by Denis Leary, will debut on Fox on January 9 during their NFL pregame coverage.
- Basketball Wives will return on VH1 on February 9.
Michael Apted, Director of the 7 Up documentary series, Coal Miner’s Daughter, and episodes of Coronation Street and ITV Playhouse to Chasing Mavericks and Masters of Sex
John Reilly, Actor on General Hospital, Passions, Dallas, Beverly Hills 90210, and As the World Turns and many others
Pat Loud, The mother on An American Family, the first American reality show
Ed Bruce, Country singer-songwriter who wrote “Mommas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Cowboys” and co-starred in Bret Maverick
Antonio Sabáto Sr., Actor and father of Antonio Sabáto Jr.
Mary Grady, Talent agent for child actors including Mary Kate and Ashley Olson, Todd Bridges, and Brandy
Marsha Zazula, Co-founder of Megaforce Records, the label that first signed Metallica
The Good Doctor: Dr. Audrey Lim struggles to cope with the emotional trauma of treating COVID patients in the winter premiere. 9 p.m., ABC
All American Stories: This new docuseries profiles eight athletes who overcame obstacles to achieve greatness. Series premiere. 7 p.m., The CW
Weakest Link: Winter premiere. 9 p.m., NBC
Crack: Cocaine, Corruption & Conspiracy: A documentary film about the crack cocaine epidemic that tore through inner cities, but also was used to reinforce gross and harmful racial stereotypes. Premiere. Netflix
- Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Rashida Jones, Bill Burr, Old Dominion
- Late Night with Seth Meyers: Amber Ruffin, Lacey Lamar, Future Islands
- The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Chris Rock, Joss Stone
- The Late Late Show with James Corden: Rob Lowe, Zoe Wees
- Jimmy Kimmel Live: Milo Ventimiglia, Ken Jennings, Queen Naija
- The Daily Show: The Daily Social Distancing Show
- Watch What Happens Live: Meghan McCain, S.E. Cupp
- A Little Late with Lily Singh: Saweetie
|The Good Doctor
|Bob ♥ Abishola
|CW||All American Stories
|Penn & Teller: Fool Us
|9-1-1: Lone Star
|NBC||Ellen’s Game of Games