Last week was a hell of a year.

by Therese Odell, posted in Uncategorized

It’s Monday, and Bean Dad was a week ago.

And because I know you need it, I’m going to point you in the direction of a wonderful site: OpenPuppies.com. It’s just doggo gifs. That’s it. Hit the space bar: new doggo gif. See? The internet is for something other than inspiring an overthrow of the government!

 

Political Crap

OK, A LOT HAS BEEN HAPPENING SINCE WE WERE LAST HERE.

Before we begin, I urge you to read this New York Times Magazine piece written by Tim Snyder, a Yale history professor, about The Big Lie, fascism, post-truth, and why we face grave danger if we don’t punish those responsible for the events of January 6. It’s a long piece, but makes some very cogent arguments and helps explain in fairly simple terms how we came to this place where the fringe has overtaken the more rational part of the Republican party. I’ve personally experienced people in my life choosing to believe what “feels” real to them over reality, and it’s not dangerous in some hypothetical way. The consequences are real and threaten all of us. (And then when you’re done reading it, go back and click on OpenPuppies.com for a little while.)

The House has introduced an article of impeachment against President Inciter because, you know, he encouraged a violent overthrow of the Capitol and maybe not-so-secretly wished they would murder his Vice President and the Speaker of the House and whoever else they could get their hands on. They intend to vote on by Wednesday it if Vice President Capuccino Foam doesn’t 25th Amendment his ass by tomorrow. As for whether the Senate will realistically convict him? Who knows, but what it will do is force Senate Republicans to vote on whether or not they support a violent insurrection on our government, so it’s a win regardless.

A second Capitol Police officer has died following the siege. Howard Liebengood died by suicide.

And Capitol Police Officer Eugene Goodman is being recognized as a hero after antagonizing and leading a large group of rioters away from the Senate, and giving the Senators in that room the 60 extra seconds they needed to make their escape. This man’s bravery makes me want to cry if I think about it for too long.

Capitol Police Chief Steven Sund is saying that when he called for National Guard troops to provide backup after the Capitol was stormed, a top Army official refused and told him “I don’t like the visual of the National Guard standing a police line with the Capitol in the background.” That’s not great.

Arnold Schwarzenegger has something to say. Come for the comparisons to Nazis, stay for the Conan sword.

And look who’s decided to pop in with the most tone-deaf, “PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEEEEE!” statement about what happened on Wednesday. You can read the whole thing here, but this is the pertinent part:

Most recently, my heart goes out to: Air Force Veteran, Ashli Babbitt, Benjamin Philips, Kevin Greeson, Roseanne Boyland, and Capitol Police Officers, Brian Sicknick and Howard Liebengood. I pray for their families comfort and strength during this difficult time.

I am disappointed and disheartened with what happened last week. I find it shameful that surrounding these tragic events there has been salacious gossip, unwarranted personal attacks, and false misleading accusations on me – from people who are looking to be relevant and have an agenda. This time is solely about healing our country and its citizens. It should not be used for personal gain.

Our Nation must heal in a civil manner. Make no mistake about it, I absolutely condemn the violence that has occurred on our Nation’s Capitol. Violence is never acceptable.

As an American, I am proud of our freedom to express our viewpoints without persecution. It is one of the paramount ideals which America is fundamentally built on. Many have made the ultimate sacrifice to protect that right. With that in mind, I would like to call on the citizens of this country to take a moment, pause, and look at things from all perspectives.

  1. Take your “all perspectives” and shove it up your ass, Melania.
  2. THIS ISN’T ABOUT YOU. WHO CARES WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW, ASSHOLE? “Unwarranted personal attacks and false misleading accusations on me … ” JESUS, WOMAN, READ THE FUCKING ROOM.

Twitter kicked President Twatsalot off of its platform indefinitely. They are also locking down accounts of Qanon loonies and people calling for violent insurrection. The response on the right has been “OH NOOOOOOO! WHERE ARE ALL MAH FOLLOWERS???”

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE THE CONNECTION?

The right-wing alternative to Twitter, Parler, was kicked off of Google Play, the Apple App store, and then, finally, Amazon’s web hosting services. LOL. There are also multiple reports that white hat internet hackers have been able to hack into Parler, and recover millions and millions of posts, videos and deleted posts, and are turning them over to law enforcement, but until that is reported by mainstream media, take this story with a grain of salt.

Other fallout:

The PGA is cutting their times to President Fuhrer.

Forbes has warned companies to not give President’s Insurrection’s press goons jobs in the future. Sorry Kayleigh!

Rudy is being investigated by the State Bar of New York and considered for disbarment.

Some business are halting donations to any members of Congress who did not certify the election, including: Dow; Morgan Stanley; Marriott; and Hallmark. Meanwhile, some other spineless companies like Facebook; Citigroup; and JP Morgan are halting donations to both parties as if this is a both sides issues.

Shopify has terminated their Trump-related stores. And Stripe has stopped processing payments for the Trump Campaign website.

Tonight, Hulu is going to premiere 24 Hours: Assault on the Capitol, an ABC News special about last week’s siege of the Capitol.

Going Viral

Don’t forget: we are actually in the middle of the worst part of a deadly pandemic. We are quickly nearing 400,000 American deaths from COVID-19, and hitting over 20,000 deaths a week, and over 300,000 new cases A DAY. And our vaccine rollout continues to be a mess. There are 40 million doses just sitting on shelves because there was NO PLAN. 

But Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip have received their “jabs.”

During the siege, Republican Congressional members were seen waving off masks while they hid from the terrorists, because OF COURSE THEY DID.

And now The Attending Physician of the United States Congress has written a memo to the members of Congress, warning them that they’ve probably been exposed to the virus because UH DUH. These goddamned selfish science-denying motherfuckers.

And seconds after I typed the above: a 75-year-old Congresswoman and cancer survivor has tested positive. GREAT JOB, EVERYBODY!

Dr. Payman Simoni, a plastic surgeon who had appeared on The Doctors, has died of COVID-19 after a patient coughed in his face. WEAR A MASK, ASSHOLES. Also, don’t get elective plastic surgery right now, maybe?

We’re not all terrible. 25 thousand of us left messages to Aunt Sue:

Is watching group scenes on TV as weird for you as it is for some of us? I watch General Hospital pretty regularly, and while they’ve cut all kissing scenes, for instance, they do imply characters are kissing by bringing their heads together very closely before cutting away, and I’m still like, “THEY’RE JUST BREATHING INTO EACH OTHER’S OPEN MOUTHS! HOW IS THIS BETTER?!”

Barry seasons 3 and 4 are written and ready to go, but the stupid pandemic is hampering filming.

All Other TV News

The reason new episodes of WandaVision are going to be available weekly, instead of dropped all at once, is because y’all were patient with The Mandalorian.

And the door isn’t shut on reviving the Netflix Marvel series, including Daredevil, Jessica Jones, and Luke Cage (interestingly, there’s no mention of The Punisher here). Stay tuned.

Jake Tapper is taking over CNN. And worryingly, Fox News is shifting more of its primetime “opinion” hosts into the daytime “news” spots.

Here’s Sean Hannity debunking a “menacing” internet joke about Olive Garden revoking his “Lifetime Pasta Pass.” VERY IMPORTANT. DEFINITELY NEED TO SPEND TIME ON THIS RIGHT ABOUT NOW.

Y’all, please leave the 1972 massacre in Derry, Northern Ireland out of your marketing schemes. Thanks.

Hey, all of the college kids who definitely check out this blog: Hulu is offering a subscription to you guys for $2 a month. (But it’s the ad-supported level, so get used to commercials.)

Well done, 21c Museum Hotel in Lexington, KY! This is gorgeous!

The Sex and the City revival is officially happening (see below), and fans had feelings about the whole Samantha issue.

I’M NOT CRYING YOUR STUPID FACE IS CRYING.

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendar

  • Clarice premieres on CBS on February 11.

  • The Equalizer will debut on CBS on February 7, after the Super Bowl.

  • Men in Kilts will debut on Starz on February 14.

  • Young Rock will debut on NBC soon.

  • Losing Alice will debut on Apple TV+ on January 22.
  • Penguin Bloom will debut on Netflix on January 27.
  • Cherry will debut on Apple TV+ soon.
  • Finding ‘Ohana will premiere on Netflix on January 29.
  • Kamp Koral: Spongebob’s Under Years will debut on Paramount+ soon.
  • The Event will debut on HBO Max on January 14.
  • American Gangster: Trap Queens will return on BET+ on January 14.
  • Are You Afraid of the Dark? will return on Nickelodeon on February 12.
  • Squish is now streaming on HBO Max.
  • Dogs Playing Poker, a series of animated shorts produced by Denis Leary, will debut on Fox on January 9 during their NFL pregame coverage.
  • Basketball Wives will return on VH1 on February 9.

R.I.P.

Michael Apted, Director of the 7 Up documentary series, Coal Miner’s Daughter, and episodes of Coronation Street and ITV Playhouse to Chasing Mavericks and Masters of Sex

John Reilly, Actor on General Hospital, Passions, Dallas, Beverly Hills 90210, and As the World Turns and many others

Pat Loud, The mother on An American Family, the first American reality show

Ed Bruce, Country singer-songwriter who wrote “Mommas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Cowboys” and co-starred in Bret Maverick

Antonio Sabáto Sr., Actor and father of Antonio Sabáto Jr.

Mary Grady, Talent agent for child actors including Mary Kate and Ashley Olson, Todd Bridges, and Brandy

Marsha Zazula, Co-founder of Megaforce Records, the label that first signed Metallica

WATCH THIS

The Good Doctor: Dr. Audrey Lim struggles to cope with the emotional trauma of treating COVID patients in the winter premiere. 9 p.m., ABC

All American Stories: This new docuseries profiles eight athletes who overcame obstacles to achieve greatness. Series premiere. 7 p.m., The CW

Weakest Link: Winter premiere. 9 p.m., NBC

Crack: Cocaine, Corruption & Conspiracy: A documentary film about the crack cocaine epidemic that tore through inner cities, but also was used to reinforce gross and harmful racial stereotypes. Premiere. Netflix

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Rashida Jones, Bill Burr, Old Dominion
  • Late Night with Seth Meyers: Amber Ruffin, Lacey Lamar, Future Islands
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Chris Rock, Joss Stone
  • The Late Late Show with James Corden: Rob Lowe, Zoe Wees
  • Jimmy Kimmel Live: Milo Ventimiglia, Ken Jennings, Queen Naija
  • The Daily Show: The Daily Social Distancing Show
  • Watch What Happens Live: Meghan McCain, S.E. Cupp
  • A Little Late with Lily Singh: Saweetie

MON. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC The Bachelor
(new)		 The Good Doctor
(new)
CBS The Neighborhood
(repeat)		 Bob ♥ Abishola
(repeat)		 All Rise
(repeat)		 Bull
(repeat)
CW All American Stories
(new)		 Penn & Teller: Fool Us
(repeat)		 Local
FOX 9-1-1
(repeat)		 9-1-1: Lone Star
(repeat)		 News/Local
NBC Ellen’s Game of Games
(new)		 The Wall
(new)		 Weakest Link
(new)

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