It’s Tuesday and things are still terrifying, so here’s a soothing video of someone petting a very fine duck.
Today’s terrifying news: Congress was briefed by the FBI on plans being made by right-wing extremists to surround the Capitol ahead of Joe Biden’s inauguration and assassinate certain politicians — namely all Democrats and any Republicans deemed not supportive enough of President Igniter. And the military being assigned to protect the Capitol during the inauguration are having to be vetted to make sure they aren’t tied to any right-wing groups. Great! Everything is great.
There are also reportedly plans for armed “protests” at all 50 state capitols during inauguration week, so that’s super cool.
Just on @MSNBC: During a briefing on security threats, House Democrats were reminded that the purchase of a bulletproof vest is a "reimbursable expense."— Kyle Griffin (@kylegriffin1) January 12, 2021
President Terrorist is obviously railing against his impending second impeachment, and blaming Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer for “causing tremendous danger to our county and it’s causing tremendous anger.”
Donald Trump is a terrorist https://t.co/bjulFdOR3C— Parker Molloy (@ParkerMolloy) January 12, 2021
So basically: don’t punish me for invoking violence or I’ll invoke violence. Got it.
Brian Kilmeade again says Dems shouldn't pursue impeachment because Republicans are threatening mass violence— Lis Power (@LisPower1) January 12, 2021
"We see what's happening around this country, how 50 state houses are being threatened on Inauguration Day, this is the last thing you want to do" pic.twitter.com/LS1DOfEWkR
And there are a shit-ton of Republicans who are demanding “unity” from the Democrats — meaning they should just let this go without anyone suffering any consequences for a deadly coup attempt on our Capitol — without explaining what they themselves will do towards “unifying” this country. Oh, and also? They never called on President Insurrectionist for “unity” after he lost fair and square to Joe Biden, but now, NOW, it’s important that Democrats be the ones to heal a fracture they created. VERY COOL.
“Unity and healing” doesn’t happen with cancel culture and impeachment.— Rep. Jim Jordan (@Jim_Jordan) January 9, 2021
Rick Scott calls Joe Biden a hypocrite over unity and impeachment pic.twitter.com/xBGr2nTdut— Acyn Torabi (@Acyn) January 12, 2021
The Washington Post has a remarkable story about the six hours of the siege and how President Traitor was enjoying the coverage of the violence, and reluctant to call off the rioters.
New details from @maggieNYT on what Trump was doing during the riot: "He was pleased… He knew what was happening… He just didn't want to do anything."— Alli Hedges Maser (@AllisonLHedges) January 12, 2021
Says only thing that snapped him out of it was being told he would face legal exposure based on what he said at the rally. pic.twitter.com/dBv0p9IAE5
Oh, and President Felon is learning that if he pardons himself, it might be interpreted as an admission of guilt and could be used against him in civil lawsuits resulting from the siege. He’s super pissed and now considering not giving out ANY pardons if he can’t have one.
Not great news for junior and Jared— Molly Jong-Fast🏡 (@MollyJongFast) January 12, 2021
Chad Wolf, acting Homeland Security head, is peacing out. He joins Betsy DeVos, Elaine Chao, and apparently Ted Cruz’s communications director.
Also abandoning President Toxic: New England Patriots Head Coach Bill Belichick, who refused the Presidential Medal of Freedom and Deutsche Bank, the bank that has kept his bankrupt ass afloat for years now, and might have some information on his relationship with the Russians. ALLEGEDLY.
And speaking of Qanon, you know that shirtless weirdo in the horned helmet who stormed the Capitol? Yeah, he’s refusing to eat prison food because it’s not organic. What is that they call the left? Snowflakes? It’s snowflakes, right?
Jacob Chansley, AKA Jake Angeli, Arizona man makes first court appearance in for charges related to storming the U.S. Capitol. His mom says he hasn’t eaten since Friday because the detention facility won’t feed him all organic food. @abc15 pic.twitter.com/doTLFal4At— Melissa Blasius (@MelissaBlasius) January 11, 2021
8 Days. It will happen.
Rep. Pramila Jayapal and Rep. Brad Schneider have become the second and third Congresspeople to test positive after being in a secure location with a bunch of Republican congressional assholes who refused to wear a mask during the siege of the Capitol.
I just received a positive COVID-19 test result after being locked down in a secured room at the Capitol where several Republicans not only cruelly refused to wear a mask but recklessly mocked colleagues and staff who offered them one.https://t.co/wVmgroKsdf— Rep. Pramila Jayapal (@RepJayapal) January 12, 2021
Any Member who refuses to wear a mask should be fully held accountable for endangering our lives because of their selfish idiocy. I'm calling for every single Member who refuses to wear a mask in the Capitol to be fined and removed from the floor by the Sergeant at Arms.— Rep. Pramila Jayapal (@RepJayapal) January 12, 2021
I share the outrage and anger of those across America who have watched Trump fail to combat this raging pandemic and refuse to take care of Americans who are suffering, dying, and devastated.— Rep. Pramila Jayapal (@RepJayapal) January 12, 2021
I will not rest until I do everything in my power to remove this President from office.
The Trump administration has reversed course, and will make more doses of the vaccine available, and are urging anyone 65 and older to get it. We’ll see.
Bob Read, managing editor of Inside Edition, has died of COVID-19.
The NBA had to postpone three games to outbreaks. Hey, remember the bubble? That actually worked well. Why aren’t we bubbling, again? I understand you can’t make players live in a bubble the entirety of a season, but how about playing a block of games in the bubble, having a time away from the bubble, and then return for another block of games?
Dr. Fauci remains optimistic that theaters could reopen in the fall with the vaccine rollout.
Speaking of the vaccine: Disneyland will be a super site for the vaccine for Orange County, California.
CNN’s Sara Sidner broke down on-air talking about the Los Angeles death crisis:
All Other TV News
The networks are trying to figure out their primetime coverage of President-Elect Joe Biden’s inauguration — except for Fox, of course, who doesn’t want to preempt The Masked Dancer.
As to the other national crisis: The fallout from the Samantha-less Sex and the City revival continues:
And here’s one lunatic’s take on how to create a Samantha-less revival. And let me just say: only a man would suggest this.
Some production shakeups:
Jon M. Chu is not going to be directing the Willow series on Disney+ after all. And Joe Barton is the new director of The Batman series on HBO Max after Terrence Winter exited the show.
- Andy Samberg will star and produce an untitled sci-fi comedy at Apple TV+.
- Des & Lou, a light-hearted procedural, is in development at NBC.
- Being the Ricardos, an Aaron Sorkin film about Lucille Ball and Desi Arnez, is in the works at Amazon and they are looking to cast Nicole Kidman and Javier Bardem.
- Risk, the board game, is being turned into a TV series by Beau Willimon.
- 1984, the 2013 stage play adaptation of the Orwell novel, is being adapted into a TV series.
- Kevin Hart has signed a four-film and first-look deal with Netflix.
- Julia Jones, Alano Miller, Johnny Sequoyah, and Jack Alcott have been cast in the Dexter revival.
- Geoffrey Arend is joining the cast of Physical on Apple TV+.
- Chris Coy, Julia McDermott, and Carter Jenkins have been added to the cast of Women of the Movement on ABC.
- Madison Iseman, Brianne Tju, Ezekiel Goodman, Ashley Moore, Sebastian Amoruso, Fiona Rene, Cassie Beck, Brooke Bloom, and Bill Heck have been cast in Amazon’s I Know What You Did Last Summer series.
Mark Your Calendars
- Netflix has announced plans to release a movie every single week of 2021.
- The United States vs. Billie Holiday will premiere on Hulu on February 26.
- grown-ish returns on Freeform on January 21.
- Snowpiercer returns on TNT on January 25.
- Bonding returns on Netflix on January 27.
- Beartown will stream on HBO Max on February 22.
- Love & Marriage: Huntsville returns on OWN on January 30.
- Double Cross will debut on ALLBLK on January 14.
- Perfect Life will debut on HBO Max on January 21.
- Selena + Chef returns to HBO Max on January 21.
- Momma Named Me Sheriff will debut on Adult Swim on February 14.
- American Greed returns on CNBC on January 18.
- UFO Witness will debut on Discovery+ on January 14.
- Murdoch Mysteries will return on Ovation on February 20.
- The Overview will debut on Peacock on January 16.
AnnaRose King, Writer-director and the daughter of King World Production’s Roger King
Stacy Title, Writer and director
Martin Markinson, Broadway producer
The Resident: Conrad and Nic prepare for their wedding day while everyone else has COVID flashbacks in the season premiere. 7 p.m., Fox
Prodigal Son: Malcolm finds his life in disarray after what his sister did in the first season finale. Season premiere. 8 p.m., Fox
Two Sentence Horror Stories: This strange and unexpected little horror anthology series is back. I’m not convinced that this show is good — but it does stay with you. Season premiere. 7 p.m., The CW
Trickster: An Indigenous teen tries to keep his struggling family above water when he begins having strange visions. Series premiere. 8 p.m., The CW
Everyone is Doing Great: Basically, this comedy is if the two leads of The Vampire Diaries were still floundering around five years after the show had been canceled, looking to recreate their previous success. Series premiere. Hulu
- Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Anne Hathaway, Lilly Singh, Jazmine Sullivan
- Late Night with Seth Meyers: Carey Mulligan, Leslie Jordan, Neil Gaiman
- The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: James Comey, Lili Reinhart
- The Late Late Show with James Corden: Liam Neeson, Pillow Queens
- Jimmy Kimmel Live: Kyra Sedgwick, Aldis Hodge, JP Saxe
- The Daily Show: The Daily Social Distancing Show
- Watch What Happens Live: Kameron Westcott, Cheyenne Jackson
- A Little Late with Lily Singh: Brie Larson
|ABC||Captain America: The Winter Soldier|
|FBI: Most Wanted
|CW||Two Sentence Horror Stories
|Two Sentence Horror Stories
|NBC||Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist
|This Is Us