President Alternative Facts lies his way through his last ever political debate

Welcome to another weekend, folks. We only have to get through this weekend and then next weekend and then it’s Election Day and we will either finally be coming out of this living nightmare or, possibly, diving even deeper into it. Please vote.

This cat hates her Halloween costume:

Political Crap

The bright side is, we just saw Donald Jibbles Trump’s final debate. If he loses, if he wins, if we become a full-blown dictatorship, no matter what happens, one thing is absolutely certain: President Mute Button will never grace another debate stage again.

As for what went down last night … it was not the complete screaming shitshow the first debate was. The mute button served its purpose (though it could have been wielded a little more liberally), and both candidates were able to express themselves and their platforms without interruption. President Tasmanian Devil didn’t have an opportunity to scream over Joe Biden and generally didn’t present in that aggressive, bullying fashion of his. But while he was better behaved, he lied A WHOLE LOT MORE. Say a prayer for Daniel Dale, CNN’s fact-checker.

He lied about COVID-19 going away, he lied about having a health care plan to replace Obamacare, he lied about his taxes, he lied about Biden taking money from foreign sources and being involved in some non-existent Ukranian corruption scandal, he lied about Joe Biden calling Black people “superpredators,” he lied about Biden’s position on fracking, he lied about windows, he lied about being tough on Russia, he lied about caring about the environment, he lied about his plan to reunite the families who he tore apart at the border, he lied about being the least racist person at the debate, and he lied about being the “best” President for the Black population since Lincoln.

The only thing he didn’t lie about was what a good job Kristen Welker did as moderator (despite spending all week telling his base that she was biased again him).

But y’all, I’m worried. I don’t believe there are that many people who are undecided at this point. Even if you aren’t a political person, even if you don’t pay close attention to the news, even if you don’t have strong feelings about either party, you know who Donald Jingles Trump is, because he is FUCKING INESCAPABLE. He’s not like other Presidents who you could go for weeks ignoring: he is in our GODDAMNED FACES ALL DAY EVERY DAY.

As a result, you either know that you can not take one more minute of him and will literally vote for any competent adult who runs against him …

… or you know you want four more years of unbridled chaos, destroyed institutions, the continued unraveling of our prominence on the world stage, hundreds of thousands of more unnecessary American deaths, more stripping women and minorities of their Constitutional rights, more degradation of our troops, more attacking immigrants for just wanting to be part of the American dream, the further encouragement of violent white nationalists and conspiracy whackos, a destroyed environment, a destroyed economy, and ultimately the clearing of a path to authoritarianism.

But hey, lower taxes, amirite?

My point is: this is not a difficult choice, and I do not believe there are actually any undecided voters out there. I believe there are two groups of people who are calling themselves “undecided”: the disaffected Bernie Bros who are looking for an excuse to just not vote at all, and the Trump supporter who in the past year has been disgusted by him for one reason or another, and who is looking for an excuse to cast their vote for him.

There’s nothing to be done about that first type of voter: they’ve made up their minds that the perfect is the enemy of the good and are willing to take everyone down with them. Again. But the second type of voter, they’re just looking for Trump to do something, anything that makes them feel like he is actually a competent and Presidential person. And I worry that all he had to do was not act like a coked-up lunatic on the debate stage to win some of those voters back. The bar is so low for him — it’s resting on the goddamned ground — and I worry that some of them might show up to reward him for not tripping over it last night.

The thing that gives me a little tiny bit of hope is that this insane 10-minute news cycle we are all living in doesn’t allow anyone, including his supporters, disaffected or otherwise, to focus on any one thing for very long. Meaning, the debate — perhaps even while I am typing this — will soon be supplanted by some other completely insane story and all but forgotten within 24 hours.

Speaking of, you should watch this clip with the sound on. With the sound off, it looks like maybe, possibly, if you’re being very generous, he’s tucking his shirt in.

With the sound on … 

Going Viral

According to NBC News, 77,640 Americans tested positive with COVID-19 yesterday, the highest number to date. Cases increased in 38 states, which by my count is MOST OF THE STATES. Also yesterday, the Liar-in-Chief assured Americans that “We’re rounding the corner. It’s going away.”

Cases in colleges are exploding, representing at least 2.5% of all cases. And yes, younger people do better with this virus, but they do catch it and spread to their local communities who might not be 18 and healthy. So, you know.

COVID patients are voting from their hospital beds. For more information or if you know someone who needs help, check out

This is an interesting piece about how the virus is upending real estate markets in interesting ways — especially for traditionally competitive markets like San Francisco and Brooklyn.

Reagan, the Ronald Reagan biopic starring Dennis Quaid, had to stop production after an outbreak among crew members. 

Sunday’s Tampa Bay Buccaneers-Las Vegas Raiders game has been postponed after a Raiders player tested positive.

All Other TV News

David Fincher all but confirmed that Mindhunter is done at Netflix which is a HUGE BUMMER. If you haven’t watched it, you should — maybe more viewers will encourage Netflix and Fincher to revisit the series in a couple of years.

More Quibi bit(e)s and pieces: It shuts down on December 1; the announcement has created some chaos on productions; the company is going to take offers for the content, so there might be new homes for some of the more popular titles.

Will Bethenny Frankel ever return to RHONY? Probably not, but she doesn’t exactly say no.

Tyra Banks DOES TOO want Housewives on Dancing With the Stars, you guys!

Turn Finn’s discarded storyline into its own Star Wars series on Disney+, you cowards.

“Why Has Jim Carrey’s Joe Biden Been Such a Disaster?” I HAVE ALREADY TOLD YOU PEOPLE: BECAUSE IT’S JIM CARREY.

You can watch four channels at once on Fubo TV, if you have a raging case of ADD.

LOL, Drew Barrymore did a segment with a psychic on her show, and the psychic connected with one of Drew’s ex-husband’s relatives, except that relative isn’t dead. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Here are a bunch of celebrities couples who have broken up recently, but easily the most batshit insane story is of Phil Collins’ breakup.

There does not need to be a third season of Big Little Lies, just as there didn’t need to be a second season of Big Little Lies.


In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendar

  • The Reagans will debut on Showtime on November 15.
  • Dash & Lily will premiere on Netflix on November 10.
  • Voices of Fire will debut on Netflix on November 20.
  • 9-1-1 will return on Fox in January.
  • This Is Us returns on NBC on October 27.


Robert DeMora, Costume designer



Borat 2: Subsequent Moviefilm: Borat is back and making fun of Texas’ idiot racist Agricultural Commissioner Sid Miller among many others. Premiere. Amazon

Bruce Springsteen’s Letter to You: Bruce Springsteen’s new album and documentary is a love letter to his E Street Band. Premiere. Apple TV+

On the Rocks: Sofia Coppola teams up with Bill Murray again in this film about a woman (Rashida Jones) who, concerned about her marriage, tails her husband with some help from her father (Murray). Premiere. Apple TV+

Once Upon a Snowman: Olaf gets an origin story in this new short film. Premiere. Disney+

Bad Hair: A horror satire from the creator of Dear White People about a hair weave gone very wrong. Premiere. Hulu

The Queen’s Gambit: A young orphan is a chess natural, but her road to stardom also leads her to a struggle with addiction in this new series. Series premiere. Netflix

American Selfie: One Nation Shoots Itself: Alexandra Pelosi’s new documentary follows all the craziness of the past year in case you’re interested in reliving any of that. Premiere. 8 p.m., Showtime

Over The Moon: An animated musical about a young girl who builds a rocket to prove the existence of a lunar goddess. Premiere. Netflix

The Barbarians: A Roman officer is torn between his duties to Rome and the tribe that he is from in this new epic series. Series premiere.  Netflix


Saturday Night Live: Adele and H.E.R. 10:30 p.m., NBC

Emma: Between The Queen’s Gambit and this, it’s an Anya Taylor-Joy kinda weekend, as she also stars in this new adaptation of the classic Jane Austen novel. 7 p.m., HBO

The Visit: A pair of siblings are alarmed by their grandparents’ strange behavior in one of M. Night Shyamalan’s more underappreciated films. 10 p.m., FXM


The Undoing: Nicole Kidman, Hugh Grant, and Donald Sutherland star in this new limited series about a wealthy woman whose life comes apart after a violent death. Series premiere. 8 p.m., HBO

The Circus: I’m writing this on Saturday, October 17, and it’s just a feeling, but I think this week in politics is going to be nuts and this episode will really be something. 7 p.m., Showtime

Scream: The CBS Sunday Night Movie gets into the Halloween spirit. 7:30 p.m., CBS

Late Night:

  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: (Friday): 2020 Campaign Coverage Special

FRI. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Shark Tank
CBS Big Brother
Undercover Boss
Blue Bloods
CW Masters of Illusion
Masters of Illusion
World’s Funniest Animals
World’s Funniest Animals
FOX World Series Local
NBC American Ninja Warrior

SAT. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30 10:00 10:30 11:00 11:30
ABC College Football
CBS NCIS: Los Angeles
NCIS: New Orleans
48 Hours News/Local
FOX World Series
NBC Weakest Link
Ellen’s Game of Games
Saturday Night Live
Saturday Night Live

SUN. 6:00 6:30 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC America’s Funniest Home Videos
Supermarket Sweep
Who Wants To Be a Millionaire?
Card Sharks
CBS The OT 60 Minutes Scream
The CW Local Pandora
FOX The Simp-sons
Bob’s Burgers
The Simp-sons
Bless the Harts
Bob’s Burgers
Family Guy
NBC Sunday Night Football

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