We’re all living in a bottle episode now.

It’s Wednesday … already? finally? I don’t even know anymore. Here’s a guy who knows what’s up:

All Other TV News

Y’all know what a bottle episode is, right? From Wikipedia:

In episodic television, a bottle episode is produced cheaply and restricted in scope to use as few non-regular cast members, effects, and sets as possible. Bottle episodes are usually shot on sets built for other episodes, frequently the main interior sets for a series, and consist largely of dialogue and scenes for which no special preparations are needed. They are commonly used when one script has fallen through and another has to be written at short notice, or because of budgetary constraints. Bottle episodes have also been used for dramatic effect, with the limited setting and cast allowing for a slower pace and deeper exploration of character traits and motives.

“The Suitcase,” a brilliant bottle episode of Mad Men, is about to turn 10 years old, and to celebrate, The Ringer has made a list of the 20 greatest bottle episodes of all time. Personally, “Pine Barrens” is my number one, but It’s a strong list overall.

Ah, clever: The Bachelor: The Greatest Seasons – Ever! will focus on the Juan Pablo season as its season finale, a great way to lead up to Clare Crawley’s season (or episode) of The Bachelorette in October. Ah, Juan Pablo, you handsome disaster of a human being.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills begin their reunion tonight and E! has the preview you know you want.

The CW wants to remind you: SUPERHEROES!

Vanity Fair had two therapists analyze Ross and Rachel’s relationship in this very interesting video — interesting if you care about Ross and Rachel, I guess. Also, Ross is totally in the wrong. (h/t Pajiba.)

Over in the U.K. British double Olympic gold medalist boxer Nicola Adams will make history on their ballroom reality competition, Strictly Come Dancing, by being in the show’s first female same-sex dance team. Last year, a pair of men performed on the show sparking complaints. Good on the show for doubling down on their policy of inclusion. Dancing with the Stars, are you seeing this?

Political Crap

Now that the conventions are in our rearview mirror THANK GOD, the next bit of business we need to take care of is the debates, and they’ll be here before you know it.

The first Presidential debate will be on September 29 at Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland, Ohio, and Fox News’ Chris Wallace will be the moderator.

The first Vice Presidential debate will be held on October 7 in Salt Lake City, Utah, with USA Today‘s Susan Page moderating. It will be the location of a murder.

The second Presidential debate will be on October 15 in Miami, Florida in a town-hall format. It will be moderated by C-SPAN’s Steve Scully.

The third and final Presidential debate will be on October 22 in Nashville, Tennessee. NBC News’ Kristen Welker.

As of right now, the networks haven’t announced what their coverage of the debates will look like, but you can plan on the big three broadcasting them, for sure.

In the meantime, BURN DOWN THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE. Not even half kidding.

Oh, hey, the Department of Homeland Security is withholding a report about how the Russians are coordinating a campaign to attack Joe Biden’s health — you know, the same bullshit President Can’t Walk Down a Ramp and his son and other surrogates have been pushing for weeks now. This comes on the heels of the Department of National Intelligence announcing that they will no longer be giving in-person briefs to Congress on foreign interference in our election.

hmm you see i get it

 

The Biden campaign has announced you can get campaign yard signs for your Animal Crossings village.

Uh-oh! Look who’s been using private email accounts! LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP!

LOL, Karlie Kloss, host of Project Runway and Jared Kushner’s sister-in-law, will be appearing at a Joe Biden fundraising event. EAT IT, YOU HAUNTED DOLL.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders is back with a book and an anecdote that doesn’t read the way I think she thinks it reads:

In a book titled Speaking for Myself: Faith, Freedom and the Fight of Our Lives Inside the Trump White House, former White House press secretary and loyal Trump stooge Sarah Huckabee Sanders writes that as she was taking notes during a 2018 summit in Singapore, she looked up “to notice Kim [Jong Un] staring at me.” She continues: “We made direct eye contact and Kim nodded and appeared to wink at me. I was stunned. I quickly looked down and continued taking notes. All I could think was, What just happened? Surely Kim Jong Un did not just mark me!?”

The former press secretary said that later, in the presidential limousine, she told Trump and John Kelly, who was then his chief of staff, about the incident.

“Kim Jong Un hit on you!” Trump said, according to Sanders. “He did! He f–king hit on you!”

Sanders replied, “Sir, please stop.”

“Well, Sarah, that settles it. You’re going to North Korea and taking one for the team!” Trump told her, Sanders said. “Your husband and kids will miss you, but you’ll be a hero to your country!” Trump and Kelly then “howled with laughter,” Sanders said.

Internalized misogyny is a hell of a drug.

 

 

Going Viral

Grey’s Anatomy will return to production as early as next week.

Soccer great Neymar and two more Paris Saint-Germain players have tested positive after partying in Ibiza.

Please for the love of God, do not buy into the 6% bullshit that is floating around out there. If you are so blessed as to not know what I’m talking about, a bunch of soft-brained idiots is pushing out this nonsense that the virus alone is only responsible for 6% of all deaths, that the other 94% of deaths are due to comorbidities, including poor health and old age.

Here’s the thing:

1. Are we really saying that it’s OK that grandma died because she was old anyway? That we shouldn’t take the small measure to wear masks and socially distance because people are old and going to die of something, so why not COVID?

2. 60% of Americans live with comorbidities — that is a huge number of Americans whose lives you’re willing to write off as not being significant enough to take seriously.

But 3. some comorbidities listed as causes of death along with COVID-19 are caused by the virus itself. The bottom line is 190,000 Americans who are now dead would be alive if not for this virus, and some number of them — a large one — might still be alive but for the incompetence of this administration.

New York City is pushing back the start of public school.

Cancellations

  • 68 Whiskey has been canceled at Paramount after one season.

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendars

  • black-ish will air a one-hour animated special on October 4 on ABC, ahead of the official season premiere. “Election, Part 1” and “Election, Part 2” will follow Junior embarking on his journey to become a first-time voter.
  • VOMO: Vote or Miss Out, a comedy special that will encourage people to get registered ad vote will air on ABC on September 14.
  • The Bachelorette returns on ABC on October 13.

  • The Mandalorian will return on Disney+ on October 30.

  • The Boys in the Band will premiere on Netflix on September 30.
  • Emily in Paris will debut on Netflix on October 2.
  • Challenger: The Final Flight will premiere on Netflix on September 16.
  • Long Way Up will premiere on Apple TV+ on September 18.
  • Sing On! will debut on Netflix on September 16.
  • Criminal returns on Netflix on September 16. OH HAI, JOHN SNOW.
  • The Way I See It will air on MSNBC on October 9.
  • A Love Song for Latasha will debut on Netflix on September 21.
  • Brunch with Tiffany will debut on VH1 on September 7.
  • Grand Army will debut on Netflix on October 16.
  • The Great Pottery Throwdown will debut on HBO Max on September 17.
  • Tehran will debut on Apple TV+ soon.
  • Ruby will debut on Lifetime sometime in 2021.
  • Jurassic World: Camp Cretaceous will debut on Netflix on September 18.
  • Family Business returns on Netflix on September 11.
  • Holey Moley “Unhinged” will air on ABC on September 10 and 17.

R.I.P.

Ian Royce, Warm-up comedian for Britain’s Got Talent and The X-Factor

Erick Morillo, DJ and producer of the song, “I Like to Move It”

WATCH THIS

b>Chef’s Table: BBQ: Pitmasters from Mexico, Australia, South Carolina, and, of course, Texas are showcased in this gorgeously filmed love letter to smoke meats. Premiere. Netflix

MTV’s Ghosted: Love Gone Missing: Rachel Lindsay and Travis Mills are back to hunt down ghosters and help people find the closure they need while stuck in their homes. Season premiere. 8 p.m., MTV

Purge marathon: No reason. 6 p.m., FX

Late Night:

  • Conan: Rory Scovel

 

WEDS. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC The Goldbergs
(repeat)
black-ish
(repeat)
The Conners
(repeat)
American Housewife
(repeat)
The Goldbergs
(repeat)
The Conners
(repeat)
CBS Big Brother
(new)
Tough As Nails
(new)
CW The 100
(repeat)
Coroner
(repeat)
Local
FOX MasterChef
(repeat)
News/Local
NBC America’s Got Talent
(new)
Ellen’s Game of Games
(repeat)
Chicago Med
(repeat)

2 thoughts on “We’re all living in a bottle episode now.

  1. I know it’s controversial inside the fandom but the “Fly” episode of Breaking Bad was always one of my favorites. That and “Teddy Perkins” are my favorites. Glad they made it way up near the top of that list.

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