Mini-strokes? Who said anything about mini-strokes?

WELCOME TO SEPTEMBER! Get your groove on before we get down to business. Better yet, play this and get your groove on while we get down to business.

Political Crap

I’m going to start with some good news: in an agreement reached between the NBA and the players, NBA stadiums that are owned by the league franchise will be used as a voting location in this year’s election. Some teams had already announced they would use their stadiums for this ahead of the agreement (including my own Houston Rockets) but this agreement adds eight more stadiums to the list. There are still a number of stadiums that are owned by the local governments that are not subject to this rule. Still! This makes at least 14 (with 2 more likely to join) stadiums across the country that will be opened up for safe voting this year.

Additionally, here in Houston, Harris County has designated the NRG Arena, which is adjacent to the Houston Texans’ home stadium, will also be used as a voting location.

I know that at the Toyota Center (the Rockets’ stadium) parking will be free, but I can’t find information about NRG. I assume it will be, but until I find confirmation that it is, I don’t want to be talking out the side of my mouth.

But yay! Vote safely! And remember: we are 63 days from Election Day and 42 days until Early Voting begins here in Texas.

As for the nonsense we need to vote out, in the span of 24 hours, President Catastrophe:

  • refused to denounce violent supporters and defended a murderous 17-year-old

  • said that there were people in “dark shadows” who are controlling Joe Biden and claimed that there was a plane full of people in all black traveling from somewhere to somewhere else to make trouble? but it’s under investigation? and this story might actually be based on a Facebook post on some random conspiracy nut’s page?

  • compared the police shooting people on the street to missing a putt in a golf tournament

  • suggested that poor people commit crimes

  • said that Governor Cuomo is “number one” in COVID death in the country, AS IF NEW YORK STATE ISN’T A PART OF THE COUNTRY THAT HE IS IN CHARGE OF

  • and his social media surrogates tweeted out TWO fake videos of Joe Biden, one of which had to be flagged by Twitter as manipulated media because they replaced Harry Belafonte with a still of Joe Biden

It’s going to be a LONG fucking 63 days.

Oh, and also, a new book is coming out by New York Times reporter Michael Schmidt that suggests that President Neurological Incident’s unscheduled visit to Walter Reed in November was serious enough to put Mike Pence on alert: “in the hours leading up to Trump’s trip to the hospital, word went out in the West Wing for the vice president to be on standby to take over the powers of the presidency temporarily if Trump had to undergo a procedure that would have required him to be anesthetized.”

The book does not specify what he went to Walter Reed for, but President Broken Brain himself just offered a hint:

🤔 🤔 🤔

The book also reports that Rod Rosenstein prevented Robert Mueller from actually investigating Russia’s ties to the Trump campaign but I can’t spend much time thinking about it because if I do I will start screaming and I will never stop.

So instead, I’m just going to read and re-read two very different comedians’ responses to this entire fucking mess: the mild-mannered, middle-of-the-road, good Catholic boy Jim Gaffigan and the much less politically sensitive Christopher Titus.

President Habitual Liar broke poor Gaffigan during his speech at the RNC, and he unleashed a barrage of tweets saying the same shit I’ve been saying here for years. It did not go over well with some of his fans. A sampling:

You should go read all of them, especially if you’re familiar with Gaffigan, because they are wonderful. He then felt he had to respond to the people who were shocked he went off, and explain himself.

And then there is Christopher Titus who does not give one fuck about your feelings:

friday-damn

Yeah, that was satisfying.

All Other TV News

This should probably go under In Development below, but anything to do with Game of Thrones showrunners David Benioff and D.B. Weiss is pretty huge news around here. Today, Benioff and Weiss announced their next project: The Three-Body Problem, an award-winning trilogy of novels about an alien invasion. They will write and produce the series for Netflix along with The Terror producer, Alexander Woo.

While we’re thinking about Game of Thrones: here’s a reminder that George R.R. Martin got his start on television. In fact, it was the limitations of Beauty and the Beast‘s budget that drove him to write a series of books that he thought would never be filmable. Also, Beauty and the Beast has long been considered a pretty great show despite its admittedly silly premise. You can catch up with it on CBS All Access.

Were you wondering what the deal was with the baby-headed ghost in this week’s episode of Lovecraft Country? (I definitely was.) Wonder no more! The answer is: TIME TRAVEL. Hmmm.

Derek Waters has no idea if the already shot seventh season episodes of Drunk History will ever see the light of day. Hey, Netflix? Hulu? This seems pretty cut and dry.

The Miss Universe family of pageants are moving from Fox to the FYI network, and, curiously, Miss Teen USA will take place at Elvis’ Graceland? Sure. Why not.

HEY! Congratulations, Niecy Nash and Jessica Betts!

Going Viral

ABC’s legal drama, For Life and HBO Max’s The Flight Attendant have both begun production in New York City.

Sex/Life, a new Netflix dramedy, has resumed production in Canada.

BBC One’s Line of Duty has returned to production in the U.K.

DEVO founder Mark Mothersbaugh says that he very nearly died of COVID-19, and was on a ventilator for 10 days.

#MeToo

Ron Jeremy has been charged with 20 new counts of sexual assault on 13 women and girls ranging in age from 15-54.

Oh, hey, another comedian has been accused of rape: this time it’s James Veitch, who had just landed an HBO Max comedy special. Multiple Sarah Lawrence alums accuse him of rape and assault. He denies everything. HBO Max has pulled the special for the time being.

Roman Polanski will not be reinstated to the Academy of Motion Pictures and Sciences. Fuck off, child rapist.

The Academy Museum of Motion Pictures creative director Peter Castro is being investigated by the Los Angeles police for sexual assault.

Brazilian film producer and film festival curator Gustavo Beck has been accused by 18 women of sexual assault and harassment.

Director Neil Marshall, Charlotte Kirk’s fiance, has been dropped by his agency following allegations he was involved in an extortion scheme against former NBC Universal Chairman Ron Meyer.

Another woman is coming forward to sue the estate of Jeffrey Epstein for sexually abusing her.

COULD Y’ALL JUST LET THE COMMERCIAL LADIES LIVE, PLEASE?

Cancellations

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendars

  • Supernatural returns on The CW on October 8.
  • Women Make Film, a 14-part documentary, will begin airing on TCM in addition to 100 films made by female filmmakers, beginning tonight.
  • Big Sky will debut on ABC … later.

R.I.P.

Marcus Smythe, Actor on Another World

Morrie Gelman, Former Variety writer

WATCH THIS

Women Make Film: A 14-part documentary series about female filmmakers (see above). 7 p.m., TCM

Transplant: A Syrian doctor and his sister try to make a new life in Canada in this transplanted medical drama. You saw what I did there. Series premiere. 9 p.m., NBC

16 and Recovering: Northshore Recovery High welcomes students recovering from drug and mental health issues in this new docuseries. Series premiere. 8 p.m., MTV

Yeti or Not: YETI OR NOT! God bless whoever came up with this title. 7 p.m., Animal Planet

Late Night:

  • Conan: JB Smoove

 

TUES. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC NBA Playoffs (maybe!)
(live)
CBS NCIS
(repeat)
Love Island
(new)
FBI: Most Wanted
(repeat)
CW Dead Pixels
(new)
Dead Pixels
(repeat)
<Tell Me a Story
(new)
Local
FOX Hell’s Kitchen
(repeat)
Prodigal Son
(repeat)
News/Local
NBC America’s Got Talent
(new)
Transplant
(new)

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