Disney has an amazing birthday present cued up for America: “Hamilton” is coming to your TVs.

It’s Tuesday. It’s the 12th day of the month. Which month? Does it matter?

Here is my friend Andrew Cotter keeping himself sane by calling a penguin race:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AMERICA, Bob Iger just gave you an AMAZING gift: Hamilton will be headed to Disney+ this summer. Originally the musical was expected to debut in theaters on October 15, 2021, but as a pandemic gift to us all (or because Disney is taking such huge hits through this), they have moved up the premiere date to July 3 of this year.

Jeffrey Katzenberg is blaming the pandemic for Quibi’s anemic performance. I mean, that’s one way to go, never mind the fact that everyone is stuck at home right now, playing on their phones and desperately looking for new things to entertain them.

The taping of the Friends reunion has been pushed back to late summer.

Just as I suggested yesterday, The CW has acquired four series all of which have already been produced. Tell Me A Story (which has been canceled by CBS All Access — see below), Swamp Thing (which was canceled at DC Universe last year), Coroner (a Canadian drama) and Dead Pixels (a British comedy). From everything I’ve heard, Swamp Thing was pretty good, so who knows, maybe this could give it a second life after all is said and done?

As for the state of other new shows, here’s where the big networks stand.

Tony Shaloub returned as Monk on Peacock’s At-Home Variety Show:

General Hospital is going to resort to reairing old Nurses’ Ball episodes, God save us all.

The virus has hit Japan’s animated series Sazae-san, which has been on the air since 1969. They’ve run out of new episodes, but it sounds like they’ll have plenty of reruns to tap into.

Discovery’s British channels have ordered Simple Pleasures and Easy Asian, both filmed in the hosts’ homes.

Speaking of the UK, they are flinging open production over there. Studios can begin filming as soon as they put in safety measures. GOOD LUCK, Y’ALL.

President Dungbeetle was back in the Rose Garden spouting lies about how everyone who wants to get tested can and that we are doing the best in the world in terms of death rates. Neither of these things is true. But leaving that aside, there were three standout moments:

1. When a Washington Post reporter asked him what crime he was suggesting President Obama had committed when he tweeted some batshit insane nonsense on Mother’s Day, he replied with this garbled bit of word garbage (word salad makes it sound healthy):

2. When a reporter asks him if it’s a double standard that the White House can get tested whenever they want, but the rest of the country can’t and yet he wants us to reopen, he snaps at her that they’d be complaining if the White House wasn’t testing and that he understands her better than she does:

3. And then finally, when CBS reporter Weijia Jiang asks why he’s phrasing the death tolls as some sort of global competition, President White Nationalist hissed that she should ask that of China. When she asked him why he asked her, specifically, that, he replied that it was a nasty question before trying to move to another reporter, Kaitlin Collins of CNN, but Collins deferred to Jiang, asking that her question be answered. So he moved on to Yamiche Alcindor who deferred to Jiang, so President Temper Tantrum stormed out of the press conference:

Also, after telling the states they were on their own, he’s now trying to take credit for the governors’ high approval rates:

Also, he’s super mad at 60 Minutes for reporting — accurately — that his little Florida pet, Matt Gaetz, floated a conspiracy theory on Tucker Carlson’s show about a program that studied coronaviruses — particularly coronaviruses that originate in bats — and the program then immediately had their funding cut by the NIH.

President Conspiracy Theory is also tweeting, again, that Joe Scarborough killed an intern:

Completely unrelated to all of this, two things that are happening today:

1. Dr. Fauci is testifying before the Senate.

2. The Supreme Court is hearing arguments over whether Congress should have access to his company’s tax returns and other financial documents.

Like I said, I’m sure these two things are completely unrelated to President Lunatic’s general mood.

Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov is hospitalized with the virus.

So, Bryan Adams is a racist? I just didn’t see this one coming. Way to keep surprising me, 2020.

Broadway will be closed through Labor Day. At the earliest. So enjoy Hamilton on Disney+ …

A surfer was killed in California by a shark and folks are blaming the virus. OK.

Good News:

They’re having an Orphan Black reunion and table read for charity which is terrific, but aren’t most days Orphan Black mini-reunions considering Tatiana Malsany is 70% of the cast?

Guy Fieri and Bill Murray are having a nacho-off on Friday to raise money for restaurant workers.

Neil Gaiman is going to begin reading Coraline on the New York Public Library’s YouTube channel.

Caroline in the City is also reuniting for a pilot script read to raise money. (But, and sorry to be rude, but did anyone ask for this?)

All Other TV News

The CFO of AT&T would like to assure you that $15 a month for HBO Max is actually a really good deal. I mean, maybe, if you don’t already have HBO … and for HBO subscribers, they’ll receive a year free, which is great, but then what? Am I expected to pay for both HBO and HBO Max? Because that ain’t gonna happen.

Robert Iler, the kid who played A.J. Soprano, explains why he can’t bring himself to watch the series (basically it bums him out to see James Gandolfini who he thought of as a father figure, which is very sad).

The Office is being recreated on Slack for some reason.

Televangelist Jim Bakker has had a stroke and will be taking a break from his show for a while. What a pity. /sarcasm



  • Tell Me a Story has been canceled at CBS All Access — but The CW will pick up the first two seasons, which is exactly the sort of pandemic TV programming I predicted would happen yesterday.

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendars

  • Hannah Gadsby: Douglas will debut on May 26. And you should really go watch Nanette if you haven’t already.
  • The Twilight Zone returns on CBS All Access on June 25.
  • DC’s Stargirl debuts on The CW on May 19.
  • St. Louis Superman will premiere on MTV, VH1, and MTV2 on May 18.
  • The Bachelor: The Greatest Seasons – Ever! will premiere on ABC on June 8.

  • Ben Platt Live from Radio City Music Hall will premiere on Netflix on May 20.
  • I’m No Longer Here will debut on Netflix on May 27.
  • Control Z will premiere on Netflix on May 22.


Pavle Jovanovic, U.S. Olympic bobsledder

Martin Pasko, DC Comics writer

Paul “Bear” Vasquez, The double rainbow guy



Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt: Kimmy vs. The Reverend: It’s a Kimmy Schmidt choose-your-own-adventure! Netflix

The Happy Days of Gary Marshall: A well-deserved tribute to the television creator and pioneer. 7 p.m., ABC

The Flash: Barry makes a plan to save Iris in the season finale. 7 p.m, The CW

For Life: Aaron finds himself a powerful new adversary in the first season finale. 9 p.m., ABC

Hollywood Game Night: Social Distancing Edition: Celebrities play from their homes because this is how we live now. 9 p.m., NBC

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Ethan Hawke, Elle Fanning, Kane Brown
  • Late Night with Seth Meyers: Paul Giamatti, Nicole Richie
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Christine Baranski, Ellie Kemper
  • The Late Late Show with James Corden: Jeff Goldblum, James Blake
  • Jimmy Kimmel Live: Lionel Richie
  • The Daily Show: The Daily Social Distancing Show
  • Conan: Chris Gethard
  • Watch What Happens Live: James Kennedy, Raquel Leviss, Tom Sandoval, Ariana Madix


TUES. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC The Happy Days of Gary Marshall
For Life
FBI: Most Wanted
CW The Flash
DC’s Legends of Tomorrow
FOX Gordon Ramsay’s 24 Hours to Hell and Back
NBC The Voice
Ellen’s Game of Games
New Amsterdam

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