As promised, first a clip that made me laugh: this groundhog sat on the back porch of a Philadelphia home and ate this piece of pizza FOR AN HOUR.
Philadelphia's "Pizza Groundhog" is enjoying this coronavirus quarantine with a full stomach! 🍕 Thanks for sending in this video Kristin Chalela Bagnell! #6abcactionhttps://t.co/NCcTOzDkkr pic.twitter.com/lFqQwivShh
— Action News on 6abc (@6abc) April 15, 2020
My husband is a Philadelphian and I’ve spent a lot of time in that wonderful, tough town and I am here to tell you that a pizza-eating groundhog who does not give TWO FUCKS about the dogs staring him down is absolutely the perfect mascot for that city.
On the actual pandemic front, last I checked, we were well over 323,000 dead with yesterday bringing in one of (if not the) highest death rate yet (over 2,700), so of course there are some (REPUBLICANS) who are calling for people to go back to work, the economy to reopen and for people to pretend this never happened. What is remarkable here is that they all recognize that this will cost people their lives — thousands, maybe millions of people — and to their credit, they are at least honest about the fact that they don’t give one single solitary shit:
every time one of these gargoyles wants people to sacrifice themselves for the Dow they should be asked which family member they’re willing to sacrifice for the cause pic.twitter.com/RI5lnwQTQ2
— shauna (@goldengateblond) April 15, 2020
Texans need to get back to work. https://t.co/ZhgxfNZdBc
— Ted Cruz (@tedcruz) April 16, 2020
Meanwhile, Sen Kennedy (R-LA): "We've gotta reopen, and when we do the coronavirus is gonna spread faster"… Right now, St. John the Baptist Parish, Louisiana has one of the highest rates of death per capita in the USA from this illness… #StopTheTrumpGOPTeamCon https://t.co/hZZk4RMvAf
— Selina Grissom (@LilRdVet2) April 16, 2020
DR OZ: "Schools are a very appetizing opportunity. I just saw a nice piece in The Lancet arguing the opening of schools may only cost us 2 to 3%, in terms of total mortality. Any, you know, any life is a life lost, but … that might be a tradeoff some folks would consider." 😳 pic.twitter.com/aifMeKTsIv
— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) April 16, 2020
OK, a few points about this completely insane Dr. Oz bit:
- I don’t think he’s talking about 2-3% of school children dying, as the virus isn’t really hitting kids and teens that hard (I don’t want to sound callous about the children who have died or those who are immune-compromised who could die — but the numbers do seem to suggest that it’s just not hitting those under 20 as hard as other populations).
- But what he is saying is that 2-3% OF AMERICANS could die. Which is somewhere between 6-9 MILLION AMERICANS. AND HE IS SAYING THAT IS MAYBE AN ACCEPTABLE TRADEOFF.
- So The Leftovers is about the profound, unsurmountable grief and existential crisis that befalls the survivors of an event that disappears 2% of the population. It’s a wonderful, heartbreaking show, one of my favorites of this century. BUT I DO NOT WANT TO LIVE IT BECAUSE SOME TV DOCTOR TELLS FOX NEWS VIEWERS THAT IT WILL BE FINE.
And seeing these pro-Trump, anti-stay-at-home protests popping up in Michigan, Kentucky, and Ohio … well, we may get to that 2% sooner than anyone could have possibly thought:
Side by side of the protest in Ohio and a still shot from The Walking Dead. pic.twitter.com/9qqx4Y0oWx
— Katelyn Burns (@transscribe) April 15, 2020
But listen — I don’t want to sound like I don’t get where this anger is coming from. We are possibly facing another great depression because of the catastrophic impact of keeping our economy closed so as to save lives. I just think some of that anger should be less directed at the governors and local officials who are trying to keep those people alive and more at the administration and the GOP congressional leaders who don’t want to face the reality that the stimulus they agreed to — reluctantly — is not going to be nearly enough to put a dent into this situation.
Steve Mnuchin, the Secretary of the Treasury, Says $1200 Will Last Families Up To 10 Weeks https://t.co/MrZoubX47R
— some lady (@pegaita) April 15, 2020
Indulge me in another pandemic fantasy: A tv show, recorded live, starting Saturday, where Mnuchin & his dreadful spouse live for 10 weeks on $1200 while the rest of us watch. https://t.co/3oU8CJhvmm
— Jen Bluestein (@TheRealJenBlue) April 15, 2020
Meanwhile, another 5.2 million people filed for unemployment this week, making the total since last month 22 million. So, yep! That one-time $1200 check is going to go really far.
Here’s a bunch of TV producers talking about how COVID-19-inspired TV episodes are certainly going to happen … one day. Maybe. But possibly in only a hazy symbolic way because we don’t really want real horror to be fed to us in escapist entertainment.
As for when production can begin on shows again, the most optimistic projections are shooting for July-August, but more realistic ones are aiming at September. And that’s if we don’t have a second wave that shuts everything down again after we reopen the economy too early. This is an EXCELLENT article that lists all of the things shows will have to contend with before they can get up and running again: relaxing restrictions against groups coming together, mass testing protocols, insurers, lawyers, privacy issues, craft services, hair and makeup issues, possible quarantining at hotels, testing testing testing testing and more testing. And then there’s the issue of the storytelling itself (as noted above): will people want to be reminded of what hell we just went through, or will it be tone-deaf to ignore it? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
The My So-Called Life cast had a reunion via Zoom:
So…This happened the other night. Most of the #MySoCalledLife cast was available for what turned out to be a very comforting, sweet, heartfelt and overdue reunion. We all have such love for each other, even 26 years later. It was overwhelming to see all of those faces together. pic.twitter.com/sei5eBRYw2
— Wilson Cruz (@wcruz73) April 16, 2020
And I would scream-ask where Jordan Catalano is, but the truth of the matter is there’s no way Jordan Catalano would show up for a Zoom meet-up.
The Good Fight, which just returned on CBS All Access … checks notes … one week ago, has already had to delay episodes thanks to this whole virus situation. Next week’s episode, which was to be its third, will be delayed a week because of post-production issues. Helpfully, the cast and crew made a video to explain the situation and then they burst into a rendition of “You Are My Sunshine” because we all could use someone singing “You Are My Sunshine” to us right now and no, I’m not being a cynical asshole, I really mean it:
Chris Cuomo’s wife, Christina, has tested positive.
Saturday Night Live‘s Michael Che is paying the rent for the 160 residents of his grandmother’s public housing complex to honor her memory. While this is a beautiful, heartbreaking gesture, MAYBE WE SHOULD GIVE PUBLIC HOUSING RESIDENTS A BREAK ON RENT RIGHT NOW.
Together in Pride: You are Not Alone, a fundraiser GLAAD will host on their YouTube channel, will raise money for LGBTQ community centers.
Danny Trejo has donated hundreds of meals to frontline workers from his Mexican restaurant.
Finally, please enjoy: “Living Through a Pandemic or Potty Training a Toddler?” It’s been more than a decade since I’ve had to potty train anyone, and this still gave me PTSD.
All Other TV News
Charter’s HBO subscribers will get free access to HBO Max when it debuts next month after striking a deal with WarnerMedia.
Well, here’s something I did not know: David Lynch and Mark Frost had talked about making a noirish sequel to Twin Peaks that would be about Audrey going to Los Angeles to try to become a star. It was going to be called Mulholland Drive. The series never happened, but it became the germ of what eventually became the film.
- Design at Your Door, a home renovation do-it-yourself series for the pandemic, is in the works at HGTV, and if you want to be a part of it, email your story to firstname.lastname@example.org or visit HGTV.com/beonhgtv for more information.
- Doomlands, an animated comedy, has been ordered at Quibi.
- Big Dummie, a comedy about rapper Dumbfounded, has been ordered at Peacock.
- Time to Hunt is coming to Netflix.
- Catherine Bell is going to guest star on NCIS: Los Angeles.
- Anthony Michael Hall will guest star on Blacklist.
Mark Your Calendars
- Never Have I Ever will debut on Netflix on April 27.
- A.P. Bio will make its debut on Peacock soon? Now? It’s unclear.
- Saved by the Bell will premiere on Peacock this year.
- Punky Brewster is debuting on Peacock sometime this year.
- Angelyne will debut on Peacock this year.
- Brave New World will debut on Peacock this year.
- Psych 2: Lassie Come Home will premiere on Peacock sometime this year.
- Labor of Love will debut on Fox on May 21.
- Solar Opposites will debut on Hulu on May 8.
- Into the Dark: Delivered will premiere on Hulu on May 8.
- Celebrity IOU will premiere on HGTV on April 13.
- Good Witch will return on Hallmark Channel on May 3.
- Best of Seven Worlds, One Planet will debut on BBC America on April 21.
- She Walks With Apes will debut on BBC America on April 22.
Brian Dennehy, Legendary actor in The Blacklist, Dynasty, Hap and Leonard, and countless movies
Harold Finker, Legendary WWE ring announcer
Glenna Goodacre, Sculptor, mother of Jill Connick
Paul Cooper, Record executive
Jimmy Webb, Punk stylist
The Disney Family Singalong: Erin Andrews, Bobby Bones, Michael Bublé, Auliʻi Cravalho, Jordan Fisher, Josh Gad, Derek Hough, Julianne Hough, Carrie Ann Inaba, Little Big Town, Kenny Ortega, Donny Osmond, Thomas Rhett, Amber Riley, and John Stamos will all be signing Disney songs from the safety of their homes in this new special. 7 p.m., ABC
In the Dark: Season two premiere. 8 p.m., The CW
Indebted: Rebecca and Dave decide to put a modern spin on sitting shiva in the first season finale. 8:30 p.m., NBC
Devs: Lily arrives for her final confrontation. Season finale (which means I can now binge the whole thing, finally.) Hulu
- Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Chelsea Handler, Kelly Clarkson, Michael McDonald
- Late Night with Seth Meyers: Bill Hader
- The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Trevor Noah, Christine and the Queens
- The Late Late Show with James Corden: Bob Odenkirk, JP Saxe & Julia Michaels
- Jimmy Kimmel Live: Seth Rogen
- The Daily Show: The Daily Social Distancing Show
- Conan: Julia Louis-Dreyfus
- Watch What Happens Live: John Oliver, Luann De Lesseps
- A Little Late with Lily Singh: Kevin Nealon
|ABC||The Disney Family Singalong
|How to Get Away With Murder
|Man With a Plan
|In the Dark
|FOX||Last Man Standing
|Last Man Standing
|Will & Grace
|Law & Order: SVU