‘Everything’s Gonna Be Okay’ has its season finale tonight, which is the most 2020 headline ever.

Going Viral

Well, last night was … really something. In the span of about an hour:

President Inept gave a televised address from the Oval Office in which he announced that all travel and trade and cargo from Europe (excepting the U.K.) was going to be shut down on Friday, thereby creating COMPLETE PANIC for Americans who happened to be in Europe this week and all of the members of the European Union — WHOM HE DID NOT WARN. He also called the virus a “foreign virus” because why not throw a little racism in on top of all of this. You know, for fun.

Within the hour of the address, the White House had to put out corrections TO THE THINGS THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES SAID ON LIVE TV. Apparently, the travel restrictions only apply to foreigners, not Americans, and trade and cargo would not, in fact, be halted. Oh, and they also had to clarify that health insurers were waving co-pays for just testing, not all treatment despite what the President of the United States just lied.

Of course, there’s no good reason for this travel ban — the virus is here, and it’s not like Americans who have been traveling abroad have some magical immunity from the virus that Europeans do not. The ban is all for show, to pretend that this White House is DOING SOMETHING and not just twiddling their thumbs while this virus infects us all. AND I AM NOT EVEN GOING TO SCREAM ABOUT THE FACT THAT THE TRAVEL BAN DOESN’T EFFECT COUNTRIES WHERE THIS ASSHOLE HAS RESORTS EXCEPT OOPS I GUESS I JUST DID.

Also, the futures plummeted last night immediately following his address. And the stock market this morning has melted down so badly, they’ve had to pause trading twice — TWICE! — so far.

Then we learned that America’s Sweethearts, Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson, have tested positive for the virus. Seems Tom and Rita were in Australia when they came down with symptoms and so they got themselves tested WHICH IS SOMETHING THEY CAN JUST DO IN AUSTRALIA. UNLIKE SOME PLACES.

Anyway, Tom and Rita will be fine, which I can’t say the same for the rest of us.


So, a Thunder/Jazz game was canceled last night with no information given to the crowd other than “we are all safe” but that they needed to go home due to unforeseen circumstances. Those circumstances: a player on the Jazz had tested positive for the virus.

Turns out, Jazz player Rudy Gobert played a hilarious joke at a press conference a few days ago in which he touched all the microphones he had just used, and GUESS WHAT? He tested positive and is patient zero:

rachel maddow stupidity

Alright. Deep breath. Here’s everything else going on, specifically in the TV and entertainment business:

Meanwhile, Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh are insisting that we’re all panicking for no reason. So that should go well for their overwhelmingly elderly audiences.

But some good news: Daniel Radcliffe is healthy! (For now.)

In Other TV News

Hey: two first responder shows were renewed this week. I guess we’re all looking for heroes right about now.

For no good reason that I can suss out, Elisabeth Hasselbeck guest hosted The View yesterday to an empty studio. It was weird.

Anyway. What was ACTUALLY peak apocalypse horror and high camp was watching Elisabeth Hasselbeck declare in complete seriousness that President Disease Vector has got this handled.

Look at this shit: “We’ve had affected cases, those are serious,” Hasselbeck said. “We’ve had deaths, those are serious. This is not to be taken lightly at all, but we shouldn’t be in a state of panic because what we’re doing, and taking cues from our president, is taking early, strong, bold actions to keep this at bay as much as we possibly can right now. We’re still on the front end of this. We’re on the very front end of this now, and I feel comfortable and confident that because of strong leadership.”


Oh, nothing to see here. Just Sarah Palin singing “Baby Got Back” in a bear suit because AN ACTUAL HELLMOUTH OPENED UP IN 2016 AND WE ALL FELL INTO IT.

So Zack Morris hasn’t changed his hairstyle in 20 years? Actually, you know what, that checks out.


Here is everything coming to HBO Max when it launches in May. If we’re all still here by then.


In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendars

  • Tooning Out the News will debut on CBS All Access on March 16.
  • Beastie Boys Story will debut on Apple TV+ on April 2.



Everything’s Gonna Be Okay: The family navigates New York City in the season finale. 7:30 p.m., Freeform

Project Runway: Season finale. 8 p.m., Bravo

The Unicorn: Wade reflects on the changes in his life in the past year in the season finale. 7:30 p.m., CBS

Mom: Majorie babysits her granddaughter for the first time. Season finale. 8 p.m., CBS

Carol’s Second Act: Season finale. 8:30 p.m., CBS

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Mandy Moore, Dane DeHaan
  • Late Night with Seth Meyers: John Krasinski, Regina Hall, Bones UK, Steve Ferrone
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Dixie Chicks, Michael Pollan
  • The Late Late Show with James Corden: Niall Horan, Vin Diesel, Eiza González
  • Jimmy Kimmel Live: Patrick Stewart, Tony Hale, Jhene Aiko featuring Miguel, guest host Pete Buttigieg
  • The Daily Show: Octavia Spencer
  • Conan: Nick Offerman
  • Lights Out with David Spade: Colin Quinn, Nikki Glaser, Fortune Feimster
  • Watch What Happens Live: Nina Garcia, Diane Von Furstenberg
  • A Little Late with Lily Singh: Tan France
THUR 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Station 19
Grey’s Anatomy
A Million Little Things
CBS Young Sheldon
The Unicorn
Carol’s Second Act
CW Katy Keene
FOX Last Man Standing
NBC Super-store
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Will & Grace
Law & Order: SVU


Leave a Reply