The results are in and it’s official: you people are the worst. Y’all chose Stumptown? Really? Over Emergence? And over Evil? And over what I thought would be the most obvious choice, Prodigal Son which looks TERRIBLE? I would have had SO MUCH YELLING about Prodigal Son and it’s wannabe Hannibalness, and somehow it only garnered 10 votes? Really?
Here’s the problem with Stumptown: it looks fine. It looks fine! It has a great cast, the writing looks snappy and sassy and I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO WITH THAT. So I have a question for you guys: did you choose Stumptown because you thought it looked bad or because you genuinely want to watch it? Because I don’t think it looks bad. I just think recaps of it are going to be BORING. AS. SIN.
BUT I GUESS YOU GET WHAT YOU ASKED FOR. SO DON’T YOU DARE GIVE ME LIP WHEN THESE RECAPS ARE TERRIBLE.
I hate you all. For reals though. You’re the worst.
Yesterday marked the 15th anniversary of the premiere of Lost, the TV show that literally changed my life and brought us all here today. And had I realized this anniversary was coming up earlier in the summer, I would have posted all my blog entries for the show here on the blog to honor it, dammit. OH WELL. I guess I’ll just wait for the 10th anniversary of the finale next year. ANYWAY. Here are some of the cast members discussing their fan encounters, and Daniel Dae-Kim talks about his theory about the smoke monster (before he learned what it really was). His theory was actually a fairly popular one on the fan boards, if I remember correctly.
In contrast to Lost, everyone hates Netflix’s The I-Land. Maybe this is the show I should have hate-blogged, guys.
Disney+ is available for pre-order now IF YOU JUST CAN’T WAIT.
Mike Johnson continues to be a class act, even after being passed over for the Bachelor. STILL MAD, ABC.
The Detroit Youth Choir may not have won America’s Got Talent, but their foundation has already raised $1 million from businesses from their hometown, so that’s terrific.
At the Royal Television Society’s Cambridge Convention on Friday Reed Hastings, the CEO of Netflix, told a bunch of U.K. TV executives that Fleabag is the one show he covets the most. And that was this weekend before Fleabag took ALL OF THE EMMYS.
Jonathan Van Ness gave a revealing interview to The New York Times where he discussed being HIV positive, his struggles with drugs and being a sexual abuse survivor. Love to him.
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar continues to be one of our best pop-culture critics.
Joe “Meatball” Giudice has to stay in jail while his deportation case proceeds.
Fox News really lost its shit over the climate change walk-outs that our young people staged on Friday. As someone who’s 15-year-old son excitedly participated, let me just assure Tucker that no one is exploiting these kids, they are genuinely worried and animated about this issue, and they should be.
Antonio Brown has been released from the New England Patriots while being investigated for multiple allegations of sexual assault and rape. He says he’s done with the NFL. OK. Nike has also dropped him, btw.
Another woman has sued Charlie Rose for sexual harassment, this time a makeup artist.
Andy Dick has an arrest warrant out on him after he groped an Uber driver. (The incident allegedly took place back in 2018.)
Brad Pitt talked a little about the time he threatened to kill Harvey Weinstein after he tried to mess with Gwyneth Paltrow. I don’t advocate for violence, but … fuck yeah, Brad Pitt.
- Troll, a comedy, is being developed at Amazon.
- The Monarchy Is Going to Shit is being developed at Quibi.
- Watson, a documentary, is coming to Animal Planet, and will also come to theaters.
- Vince Vaughn will star in the Hulu movie The Binge.
- Ryan Seacrest will be back as host of American Idol as if there was any question.
- Erica Durance is returning as Lois Lane in The CW’s crossover event.
- Will Arnett is joining the cast of The First Team on BBC.
- Alanna Ubach is joining Filthy Rich on Fox.
- Ronen Rubinstein and Sierra McClain have been added to the cast of 9-1-1: Lone Star.
- Kelen Coleman and William R. Moses are joining How to Get Away With Murder this season.
- Anna Maiche is joining Netflix’s Tiny Pretty Things.
Mark Your Calendar
- El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie will debut on Netflix and in theaters on October 11.
- American Son will premiere on Netflix on November 1.
- The Politician will debut on Netflix on September 27.
- Fractured will debut on Netflix on October 11.
- Rotten returns on Netflix on October 4.
- Baby returns on Netflix on October 18.
- Vagrant Queen will debut on Syfy sometime in 2020.
- Ghost Adventures: Serial Killer Spirits will debut on Travel Channel on October 5.
- Haunted Salem: Live will air on the Travel Channel on October 4.
- Botched returns on E! on November 5.
- Anne with an E will return on Netflix on January 3.
Aron Eisenberg, Actor best known as Nog on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Carl Ruiz, Food Network personality and celebrity chef
Sid Haig, Actor best known as Captain Spaulding in Rob Zombie’s House of 1,000 Corpses trilogy
9-1-1: A teenager speeds out of control on the freeway. But knowing this show, there will be some additional batshittery involved. Season premiere. 7 p.m., Fox
The Neighborhood: Dave wants a bigger role at the Yardeque. Season premiere. 7 p.m., CBS
The Voice: Season premiere. 7 p.m., NBC
Bob ♥ Abishola: Bob falls for his Nigerian immigrant nurse in this new comedy. Series premiere. 7:30 p.m., CBS
All Rise: The description for this new series is hilarious: “The premiere of the courthouse drama about judges, prosecutors and public defenders, as well as the bailiffs, clerks, and cops they work with to get justice for the people of Los Angeles amidst a flawed legal process.” Yep! That’s how courthouses work! Series premiere. 8 p.m., CBS
Prodigal Son: Jesus from The Walking Dead has daddy issues. Namely, his dad is Michael Sheen and a serial killer. Series premiere. 8 p.m., Fox
Bluff City Law: A father/daughter legal team fight for civil justice. Series premiere. 9 p.m., NBC
Bull: The team mounts a defense for a bartender on trial for involuntary manslaughter. Season premiere. 9 p.m., CBS
The Good Doctor: Shaun has a bad date. Season premiere. 9 p.m., ABC
- Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Gwen Stefani, Ben Platt, Zac Brown Band
- Late Night with Seth Meyers: Hasan Minhaj, Liza Koshy, Jade Bird
- The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Paul McCartney
- The Late Late Show with James Corden: Rob Corddry, Lake Bell, Anna Drezen
- Jimmy Kimmel Live: Kristen Stewart, Naomi Scott, Ella Balinska, Elizabeth Banks, Freddie Highmore, Cage the Elephant
- Conan: Jeffrey Dean Morgan
- Lights Out with David Spade: Joel McHale, Maria Bamford, Erik Griffin
- Watch What Happens Live: Judith Light, Finn Wittrock
- A Little Late with Lily Singh: Jessica Alba
|ABC||Dancing with the Stars
|The Good Doctor
|Bob Hearts Abishola
|CW||Penn & Teller: Fool Us
|Whose Line is it Anyway?
|Whose Line is it Anyway?
|Bluff City Law
10 thoughts on “Welp, you monsters have made your hate blog choice, and you’ve really outdone yourselves this time.”
huh…. yeah, that’s an unexpected poll result. Maybe you can just do a deep dive in TV Tropes each episode.
Ok a few points
1. Someone stuffed the ballot box. Evil was leading Emergence by double digit % when I last checked on Friday. Thought it was a race between those two.
2. I’ve never seen Lost (I know) but it’s very close to next on my list of “good shit I missed” to mark off and would love to read your recaps along the way.
3. Ahh, my birthday week – and premiere week every year. R.I.P. DVR space.
Ms. Odell, I have followed you for many years (back in the old Chronicle days) and have always admired your recaps of shows and your witty ways. Stumptown was because I plan to watch and why would I want to read about some dreadful, miscast, poorly written show?
Hi Mike! Thanks for reading! And thanks for explaining your reason for choosing Stumptown! I look forward to watching — I just hope I can make something entertaining with it.
Yeah, I don’t know what happened there. I’d been voting for Emergence, but started voting for Evil once I saw the trailer and realized it could be Manifest-level bad (as I still think Emergence could be).
Stumptown looks like it will be…good? And if it’s not then it will be…boring? I dunno, I feel like we all got screwed over on that one, because I don’t imagine the recaps will be that interesting.
Also, I’m a little surprised there was only a passing mention of the Emmys. Are you going to blog a separate post? I’d be interested in hearing your thoughts, especially on Fleabag since I watched based on your recommendation and am super glad I did. Had been avoiding it because it didn’t seem in my wheelhouse but that shit was GOOD.
Yep! Working, albeit slowly, on an Emmy post right now. So glad you liked ‘Fleabag!’
I voted for “Evil” multiple times, I swear. Heck, after seeing its promos over and over during yesterday’s Texans game, I may actually watch it myself, to see what we’ll all now be missing. I dunno how much fodder “Stumptown” will provide you, but I have faith in your ability to come up with spot-on nicknames for the characters.
T – your Lost recaps changes a lot of lives!!
And Stumptown has a sentient tape deck bit, you’re gonna love it!!
Dont blame me, I voted for Kodos.
If you had allowed me to vote more than once per computer, it would have been EVIL