“I’ve always felt very secure and confident with myself in knowing what I could do and what I could not. And so it’s not something that interests me. I don’t have the DNA for it.”
Then again, 2020 is a long ways away, and there is plenty of time for the Doofus-in-Chief to bungle things badly enough for her to change her mind.
But here are a number of other things to be excited about:
Helen Mirren is going to play Catherine the Great in an HBO miniseries that you didn’t even realize you needed in your life.
Tiffany Haddish signed a first-look deal with HBO, so look forward to more hilarity from her.
And Murphy Brown is returning for at least 13 episodes with Candace Bergen and creator Diane English. I am usually dismissive of reboots as being unoriginal — and this isn’t exactly original — but considering the times we are in, a show about an unabashed feminist journalist feels important and timely. If only we could bring Designing Women back…
Crock-Pot would like you to know that their slow cookers won’t kill you. Meanwhile, Instapot throws back its head and cackles. In related news, the showrunner of This is Us promises that all the depressing details of Jack’s death will be revealed in the Super Bowl episode, SO BRACE YOURSELVES.
This is a fun and insightful piece about how many times The Good Place killed its darlings which makes it one of the best shows on television.
Riverdale is going to resurrect Carrie the Musical — which was a real thing that actually happened. And in their promotion of this upcoming story, Riverdale accidentally (?) revealed that Bughead will be a thing again.
Leslie Jones as Will Ferrell is pretty much everything.
Be careful with Drew, guys:
The White House keeps trying to pretend its a reality show competition. These fucking idiots.
Larry Nassar was sentenced to 40 to 175 for sexually assaulting over 160 women — which JUST THINK ABOUT THAT — including the U.S. Women’s Gymnastics Team. This monster wrote a letter to the judge whining about having to listen to the victims’ statements, which also included the phrase, “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned,” because he, apparently, is the real victim here. After reading selections from the letter in court, this is how the judge treated his statement:
Judge Aquilina for President 2020.
Also, the prosecutor credited investigative journalists for bringing this monster to justice.
As for the actual victims’ statements, their words were powerful and you should read them. And if you don’t read all of them, at least read Aly Raisman’s statement, because this young woman is ready to BURN IT ALL DOWN.
David Copperfield has been accused of drugging and sexually assaulting a 17-year-old back in 1988. She told a number of people in her life about it at the time, and reported it to the FBI in 2007. In response, Copperfield issued a statement in support of the #MeToo movement while also pointing out that he has been falsely accused before.
Another woman has come forward accusing Russell Simmons of raping her and she is suing him for $5 million.
Be aware: the white roses folks will be wearing at the Grammys this weekend are about Time’s Up, not in support of President Snow.
Hey, old dudes: your subordinates do not want to fuck you.
Jodi Whittaker demanded the same salary as Peter Capaldi to be Doctor Who and received it, and it’s irritating as shit that this is an actual news story, that this is remarkable, and YET HERE WE ARE.
- Margaret Atwood’s MaddAddam trilogy is being adapted into a series by the Paramount Network.
- Emily Gordon is adapting The Nest into a series for Amazon.
- Freeform bought a retirement community drama, which doesn’t seem like their target demographic, but OK.
ABC Pilot Pickups:
- For Love, a magic-themed romantic drama set in New Orleans.
- Salvage, a sunken treasure mystery thriller.
- John Malkovich is going to guest star on Billions and hopefully his only lines will be, “Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich? Malkovich Malkovich.”
- Kenneth Branagh and Lily Cole have joined the cast of BBC comedy Upstart Crow.
- Cherry Jones is joining The Handmaid’s Tale, fuck yeah.
- Sean Bean is going to star in Sky TV’s Curfew.
- Michael Shannon is joining AMC’s Little Drummer Girl.
- Brett Dier (Jane the Virgin) is going to star in CBS’s comedy pilot, History of Them.
- Hannah Waddingham (the Septa on Game of Thrones) will be joining Krypton.
- Ashley Zuckerman (Manhattan) is joining the cast of HBO’s Succession.
- Katrina Law is returning to Arrow.
- Meghan King Edmonds is leaving The Real Housewives of Orange County.
Mark Your Calendars
- Empire and Star will return on Fox on March 28.
- Sneaky Pete will return on Amazon on March 9.
- Man vs. Master will debut on FYI on February 19.
- Her Stolen Past will premiere on Lifetime on February 2.
- “Motor Mega Week” will begin on Discovery Channel on March 26.
Olivia Cole, Actress
Micki Varro, Actress and singer
Warren Miller, Documentarian
Mark E. Smith, Lead singer of The Fall
Supernatural: Monster auction! 7 p.m., The CW
RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars: May the best woman win! Season premiere. 7 p.m., VH1
Great News: In order to save the network, Chuck has to resign forever from news. Season finale. (Possible series finale.) 8:30 p.m., NBC
Top Chef: It’s restaurant wars time. 9 p.m., Bravo
Late Night: Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Will Ferrell, Robert Irwin, Migos Late Night with Seth Meyers: Willem Dafoe, Dakota Fanning, Amirah Kassem, Brann Dailor The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Gwyneth Paltrow, Ben McKenzie, 30 Seconds to Mars Jimmy Kimmel Live: Viola Davis, Thomas Haden Church, Lanco Conan: Lisa Kudrow, Tom Segura, Sam Morril The Daily Show: Cecile Richards The Opposition with Jordan Klepper: Rep. Ted Lieu
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