Who could have guessed a reality tv show President would get all his information from TV?
Surprise! Donald Trump is not much of a reader. One leaked story claims that he expects all Presidential memos to be no longer than one page, and contain no more than nine bullet points. And most adults should be able to agree that the issues that the President faces are probably more complicated than can be summarized in bullet points in a one-page memo.
But CALM DOWN, AMERICA, because Donald Trump has an invaluable information source: no, not our 17 intelligence agencies he compared to Nazis. Rather, cable news. Thanks to his weird twitter habits, we know that Trump is spending a lot of time — too much time, honestly — watching cable news. And the networks have caught on: Morning Joe and The O’Reilly Factor have both hiked their ad rates now that they know they have the President’s attention.
One prominent D.C. consultant said some of his clients, including a big bank and major pharmaceutical company, were negotiating this week to buy ads on “O’Reilly” and “Morning Joe” because they knew they had a good chance of reaching the president. Trump has also been known to respond directly to what he’s watching on television and tweet statistics and topics he sees on-air. Those tweets often drive news coverage during the day.
“Instead of lobbying through the usual channels, it’s like speaking directly into the president’s ear,” he said. The consultant also said some companies are proactively placing ads in order to avoid a Trump tweet, or in at least one instance trying to prompt Trump to tweet against their competitors.
But this development doesn’t always have to be used for corporate interests (or evil). Cue John Oliver. Our favorite British Daily Show alum returned to his brilliant HBO show last night, thank Christ, and delivered a wonderful segment on the Trump administration’s denial of facts. You can watch the entire thing below, but I’ve cued it up to the end where Oliver reveals his brilliant plan to help educate our Ignoramus-In-Chief:
This is why John Oliver must never be allowed to go on vacation, guys.
In a similar move for Trump’s attention, a veterans’ group bought ad time during this weekend’s Saturday Night Live to run this powerful ad.
Let’s hope he saw it.
In other Trump-TV news:
For reasons no one can exactly explain, Trump attacked fellow reality show businessman Mark Cuban on Twitter yesterday. The two men have long disagreed, but no one is sure what, exactly, inspired this little tantrum.
And Mark Cuban had the perfect response:
Reportedly, Trump wouldn’t allow Sean Spicer to respond to the Melissa McCarthy impersonation with a joke. Oh, Sean Spicer, is anyone having a harder month than you? I mean, aside from all the people Trump deported this week and the folks that he’s trying to keep out of the country for no good reason? Besides them?
Also, despite Spicer’s denials that Trump even owns a bathrobe in response to reports that Trump wanders around the White House in a bathrobe every night, Ivanka had a very different story on The Apprentice a few years back:
Tom Arnold just claimed on Australia’s version of I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here that Hillary Clinton asked him two days before the election to release the Celebrity Apprentice tapes he has with Trump saying vulgar things, and added that the fate of the free world was on his shoulders. So, thanks, Tom Arnold. You’re a real hero, pal.
A Dominican newspaper did this:
Everyone at the BAFTAs was coming for Trump and it was glorious.
But missing from that list was Beyoncé’s fiercely and beautifully feminist performance, which ended with the lyrics:
Baptize me… Now that reconciliation is possible.
If we’re gonna heal, let it be glorious.
1,000 girls raise their arms.
Do you remember being born?
Are you thankful for the hips that cracked?
The deep velvet of your mother — and her mother, and her mother?
There is a curse that will be broken.
In other TV news
Lena Dunham destroyed The Today Show with one little word:
Interesting: the Stranger Things guys consulted with the Game of Thrones guys on security protocols. Maybe the Game of Thrones folks should go have a chat with the White House.
Anna Nicole Smith’s daughter will not be on a reality show anytime soon, so that’s one less thing to have to worry about.
ABC will air a four-hour documentary about Princess Diana on the 20th anniversary of her death and oh my God it’s been 20 years already? How is this even a possible thing?
No, Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling will not be performing live at the Oscars if that was something you were looking forward to, sorry.
This is a great essay about the rich vein of humor that lies in the center of RuPaul’s universe. True story: my older cousin took me to a RuPaul concert here in Houston when I was 13 years old (at club NRG on Shepherd), and it cracked my little baby teen mind wide open. I remain eternally grateful.
The “Cash Me Outside” girl’s return to Dr. Phil went about how you expected it to.
Saturday Night Live launched a Snapchat show but I can’t embed it here because I’m working on a computer and not my phone and also I’m An Old that does not like Snapchat.
Speaking of Saturday Night Live, Octavia Spencer will be your next host, but not until March 4.
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt: May 19
The White Princess: April 16
Fox ordered The Beast, a medical drama from a former ER executive producer.
Fox is developing a modern-day bible series called The Scroll from Queen Latifah, which are a bunch of weird words to put together.
Amazon is working on two new kids shows, Costume Quest and Pete the Cat.
Prince Fielder, the former baseball player, will have his own cooking show on Netflix, which are maybe even weirder words to put together.
Scandal, How to Get Away With Murder, and Grey’s Anatomy have all been renewed by ABC to the surprise of no one.
Al Jarreau, Legendary musician, and for our purposes here, writer and singer of the Moonlighting theme song
Stanley Kallis, Producer of Hawaii Five-0 and Mission: Impossible
The Bachelor: Oh no, Nick is having a crisis. Might this nightmare come to a premature end? (No chance.) 7 p.m., ABC
Timeless: Al Capone. 9 p.m., NBC
Humans: Hey, it’s the other show about beebots becoming self-aware. Season premiere. 9 p.m., AMC
Eagles of Death Metal: Nos Amis: A documentary about how the band that was at the center of the Paris terrorist attacks dealt with their grief. 9 p.m., HBO
The Young Pope: Season finale. 8 p.m., HBO
Late Night: Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Magic Johnson, Luke Wilson, Roy Wood Jr. Late Night with Seth Meyers: John Oliver, Zosia Mamet, Brann Dailor The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Shailene Woodley, Laverne Cox, Rick & Marty Lagina The Late Late Show with James Corden: Ice Cube, Ike Barinholtz, Steve Aoki & Louis Tomlinson Jimmy Kimmel Live: Tracy Morgan, Kaitlin Olson, D.R.A.M. featuring Erykah Badu Conan: David Oyelowo, Louie Anderson, Angel Olsen The Daily Show: Elaine Welteroth & Phillip Picardi Watch What Happens Live: Tom Schwartz, Tom Sandoval
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