Let’s watch the trailer for the Britney Lifetime movie and pretend that everything is fine. (Everything is not fine.)

I can not wait to watch the hell out of this pile of garbage:

And have you seen the cast photos for this movie, the N’Sync cast photos in particular? BECAUSE YOU REALLY NEED TO SEE THE CAST PHOTOS. It will make your entire day better, I promise.

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Stephen Colbert will be your host for the Primetime Emmys this year, hooray! And John Cena is going to be the host of your Kids Choice Awards, ~shrug~.

Apparently half of the next season of Arrested Development will be a prequel using different actors. I am not sure how I feel about this.

What is going on over at The Walking Dead? To recap: at a conference, producer Gale Anne Hurd said they toned down the violence in response to the audience’s disgust with the season premiere. But now Greg Nicotero and Scott M. Gimple are telling Entertainment Weekly that they did no such thing. “Executive producer and director Greg Nicotero answers with a flat ‘No’ when asked if anything was toned down later as a result of fan feedback, and he also says that if they could go back, they would not change a thing.” BUT, the guy who played Fat Joey claims in an interview that his death scene was far more gory than what was actually shown. So what gives?

While we’re talking about The Walking Dead, apparently in the upcoming episodes, “We’ll see Rick and the group tested in ways we’ve never seen before. We’ll see treachery from people we trust.” So who is going to betray Team Rick?

And the guy who plays Morgan hated the format of the first half of the season as much as you did.

WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON IN THIS BATSHIT INSANE PROMO FOR THE AMERICANS?

Ryan Murphy had this to say about an upcoming season of American Horror Story (but not the next season):

“It’s a character from season 1 that will be thrust into the world that you are left with at the end of Coven, which is sort of like the male/female/witch academy,” Murphy says of the future season of American Horror Story. “And then all of those characters will intertwine, which is confusing because some of them are from seasons 1 and 3. Like, Sarah Paulson will probably be playing 18 characters.”

Soooooooo… I’m guessing Devil Baby? We’re talking about Devil Baby here, right?

NBC has hired a new head writer for Days of Our Lives which suggests they aren’t going to cancel it. Yet.

Top Chef has been renewed for a 15th season.

Netflix picked up The Incredible Jessica James, a film starring the wonderful Jessica Jones. Speaking of, what have you been up to, Jessica Jones? We kinda need you right now.

Darren Criss is going to be in the SupergirlThe Flash crossover, making for quite the Glee reunion.

OH MY GOD, MTV IS BRINGING MY SUPER SWEET 16 BACK! MAKING MTV GREAT AGAIN!

Why are there so many time travel shows happening right now? Good question.

If you are curious about the minutia at Saturday Night Live, you might be interested to learn they just elevated another writer to Head Writer, giving them four Head Writers, the most in the show’s history.

Get well soon, Erin Andrews.

And In Trump News Because There’s Always Trump News:

CBS has reported that Trump filled the first rows at his CIA speech with his supporters, a claim that Trump denied. Here’s why this is important: the speech focused on Trump’s face the entire time because he was speaking to a group of spies, and we can’t very well see their faces for security purposes. During the speech, someone was clapping and laughing, and if you didn’t know any better, you might actually think it was the CIA agents themselves. But it wasn’t. It was his claque making it appear that the CIA is on Trump’s side — just like they did with the press conference before this, making it seem like the media was cheering Trump on. It is a very scary manipulation, and everyone must remain skeptical of what they are seeing, because we know that the administration has no problem with lying to us.

So, Sean Spicer had another press briefing yesterday — not his first press briefing, like this headline misstates — and he whined at the media because facts are “demoralizing” for this President. He also refused to say what the unemployment rate is when asked directly. And he lied about the ratings for the inauguration. But then Sean Sphincter, I mean, Spicer has long had his issues with the media.

Saturday Night Live writer, Katie Rich, tweeted something dumb about Barron Trump: “Barron will be this country’s first homeschool shooter.” She took the tweet down a couple of hours later, and apologized, but SNL suspended her indefinitely anyway. Chelsea Clinton and Jake Tapper among others jumped in to admonish anyone who would mock Barron. But a number of other comedy and television writers stood up for Rich, demanding that she be reinstated.

Good news, Houston!

David Muir landed the first post-inauguration interview with President Drumpf.

Meanwhile, Ewan McGregor and Piers Morgan are in the middle of a Twitter war because Piers Morgan is an asshole.

These RuPaul-inspired signs at the protests will give you life, hunty.

And this has nothing to do with television except that a television reporter is the one who saw it, but Kellyanne Conway reportedly threw a few punches at an inaugural ball. WHAT I WOULDN’T PAY FOR THAT FOOTAGE.

Here are last night’s late night takes in the event that you, like me, are old and can’t stay up late anymore:

Pilot News:

ABC has ordered a pilot for The Good Doctor, a medical drama from Daniel Dae Kim and the guy who created House.

ABC also ordered Doomsday, a thriller about a post 9/11 think tank that comes up with potential disasters, and one of them comes true.

CBS has given a pilot order to a crime drama, Killer Instinct, from Alan Cumming and Perfect Citizen, a legal drama from an executive producer of The Good Wife.

NBC has given a pilot order to a comedy produced by Seth Meyers and Lorne Michaels about a professor who has to work as a high school teacher, where he uses the kids to get revenge on those who have wronged him.

NBC also ordered a pilot for Reverie, a sci-fi drama about virtual reality or something.

But! The thing is, the networks don’t actually have much room for new shows. ABC has three shows that look like they might be cancelled; CBS only has a couple in danger; The CW only has three spots to fill; Fox only has three shows that probably will be cancelled; and NBC doesn’t have any.

Oh, and Amazon isn’t going forward with comedy Highston from Sacha Baron Cohen.

R.I.P.

Bonnie Tiegel, Entertainment Tonight producer.

Gordon Kaye, British sitcom actor

WATCH THIS

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: Valium smoothies. 8 p.m., Bravo

The New Edition Story: The wisdom, “Never trust a big butt and a smile,” came from somewhere. 8 p.m., BET

Face Off: It’s an all-star season! Season premiere. 7 p.m., Syfy

The Flash: Winter premiere. 7 p.m., The CW

D.C.’s Legends of Tomorrow: Winter premiere. 8 p.m., The CW

Late Night: Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Mike Myers, Tim Ferriss, Steve Aoki & Louis Tomlinson Late Night with Seth Meyers: Retta, Ta-Nehisi Coates, Darren King Jimmy Kimmel Live: Matthew McConaughey, Milla Jovovich, the Americanos featuring Nicky Jam, Ty Dolla $ign & French Montana Conan: Aaron Paul, Bert Kreischer, Colony House The Daily Show: Big Sean Watch What Happens Live: Dorit Kemsley, Boy George

TUES. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC The Middle
(repeat)
American Housewife
(repeat)
Fresh Off the Boat
(repeat)
The Real O’Neals
(repeat)
Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
(new)
CBS NCIS
(new)
Bull
(new)
NCIS: New Orleans
(new)
CW The Flash
(new)
D.C.’s Legends of Tomorrow
(new)
Local
FOX New Girl
(new)
The Mick
(new)
Bones
(new)
News/Local
NBC The Wall
(new)
This is Us
(new)
Chicago Fire
(new)
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