Let me begin by explaining that I did not watch The Golden Globes last night as I was somewhere on I-10 when it began and somewhere in the French Quarter when it ended, and the chances are I am never going to get around to live blogging it. I think we’ll all survive.
That out of the way, the big thing everyone is talking about is Meryl Streep’s anti-Trump speech which was heartfelt, eloquent and worth watching again:
Of course, the Petulant-elect, being who he is, could not resist responding on Twitter:
Obviously he was going to respond this way, just as obviously I was going to rant about how un-Presidential, petty and immature it was for him to respond this way. We all knew this would be the result. However, while I was reading Trump’s dumb, lying tweets to my husband and ranting at him about the whole stupid mess, it occurred to me that maybe Meryl Streep stumbled upon the answer to how we can contain President Trump in some small measure. If celebrities — the higher profile the better — took every opportunity they could to publicly denounce Donald Trump, he will be too busy throwing tantrums on Twitter to actually ruin immigrants’ lives, or start a war, or hand the nation over to Vladimir Putin. There are only so many hours in the day, and if he spends those hours popping off at celebrities on Twitter, there will be fewer hours for him to actually destroy the country. The Oscars are coming up, so do your civic duty, Hollywood. Let Meryl be your guide.
For instance: Alec Baldwin is continuing to do his part for his country.
Oh, and then Megan McCain and Billy Eichner got into a Twitter fight about Meryl Streep because 1. Billy Eichner DOES NOT PLAY when it comes to Meryl Streep and 2. this is just how we are all living now. This is reality.
Since I’m not live blogging the Golden Globes, I’ll just direct you to this list of winners for TV. Long story short: Atlanta, The Crown, The People vs. OJ Simpson, The Night Manager. HBO, amazingly, was completely shut out demonstrating once again how useless this dumb awards ceremony is, which is — never forget — very, very dumb.
Again, I did not watch these Golden Globes, but from what I hear, here are the best moments of the broadcast, including the La La Land-inspired cold open that references many TV shows:
And Steve Carell and Kristen Wiig KILLED it with this category introduction. Make the Golden Globes great again and have them host next year.
“The Hollywood Foreign Press Association has an anal tradition,” TRUER WORDS WERE NEVER SPOKEN.
Apparently NBC blacked out the live stream of The Golden Globes, understandably pissing some people off.
In HUGE non-Golden Globe news, The CW renewed Arrow, Supernatural, Supergirl, D.C. Legends of Tomorrow, The Flash, Jane the Virgin and HOORAY! Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. So now you have another season to watch this wonderful show WHY WON’T YOU WATCH THIS WONDERFUL SHOW?
Of course considering that Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is the lowest rated show on broadcast television, the head of The CW had some explaining to do: “When you have great critical work on a critically acclaimed nominated show like Crazy, it deserves to be picked up.” PREACH IT.
Oh, and not picked up for renewal — and probably about to be cancelled: No Tomorrow and Frequency. It’s not official, but it’s coming.
Here’s your first trailer for Santa Clarita Diet, and just, yesssssss:
Speaking of eating brains, apparently iZombie‘s 3rd and 4th seasons will focus on discrimination against zombies. Any resemblance to reality is strictly intentional.
The creators of The Path also think that their show is more relevant in a post-Trump world.
But the show that is going to be the VERY most relevant? The upcoming Handmaid’s Tale on Hulu. “Ordinary is just what you’re used to.” ~chills~
While we’re discussing Hulu: they will be streaming Golden Girls beginning February 13th and their new brothel series, Harlots, will feature as much male nudity as female nudity, so get ready.
Season two of The Missing (a wonderful, terribly underappreciated show on Starz — if you’re looking for a tense mystery, stream the first season) looks an awful lot like The OA, but without the yoga and bird eating and Olive Garden.
And here’s a new trailer for Frontier, a whole series based around the fact that everyone likes to watch Jason Momoa fight people while wearing animal skins.
CBS is giving more episodes to all their white bro comedies Kevin Can Wait, The Great Indoors and Man with a Plan, in the least surprising news of the day.
Kirsten Dunst will star in an AMC drama, On Becoming a God In Central Florida, that will be directed by the guy who made the movie The Lobster and produced by George Clooney in the strangest news of the day.
Or maybe the news that Riverdale was almost a time-traveling movie starring Louis C.K. as an old Archie is the strangest news of the day. Maybe that’s it.
In other development news:
- Constantine has been revived — but don’t get too excited, it will be an animated series, and on CW Seed.
- Beyond the Lights, a high school football documentary series from Peter Berg, will air on Go90.
Luke Perry is all for a Beverly Hills 90210 reboot, and Rob Lowe is all for a West Wing reunion and I am all for an Obama and the Oval Office reunion but sometimes we have to let go of the past and move on, guys.
Now they are saying that Conan could go primarily digital, cutting the show to just once a week, which makes me sad. Who will think of the stand-up comedians?
R.I.P. Francine York, guest star on Batman, The Mindy Project, Lost in Space among others.
WATCH THIS
The Bachelor: This Asshole and some women take wedding photos despite the fact that we’ve seen this date like five times already. Programming note: I will be late with the recap this week because of reasons. SORRY. I AM SORRY. 7 p.m., ABC
Big Fan: In this new game show based on a Jimmy Kimmel Live bit, superfans of celebrities go head-to-head with said celebrities to see who knows the most about the celebrity. Which seems like it should be an easy game for the celebrity. Series premiere. 9 p.m., ABC
Orphan: I mean, have you ever seen this bathsit insane movie? Because if not, you really, really should. 7 p.m., Lifetime
Late Night: Late Night with Seth Meyers: Jason Sudeikis, Michelle Monaghan, Van Jones The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Billy Joel, Josh Holloway The Late Late Show with James Corden: Neil Patrick Harris, Sienna Miller, Tom Ford Jimmy Kimmel Live: Ben Affleck, Ruth Negga, Foy Vance Conan: Viggo Mortensen, Brian Posehn, Emily Heller The Daily Show: Susan Goldberg Watch What Happens Live: Stassi Schroeder, Scheana Shay
| MON. | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 |
| ABC | The Bachelor (new) |
Big Fan (new) |
Big Fan (new) |
| CBS | Kevin Can Wait (repeat) |
Man With a Plan (repeat) |
2 Broke Girls (repeat) |
The Odd Couple (new) |
Scorpion (repeat) |
| CW | Supergirl (repeat) |
Penn & Teller: Fool Us (repeat) |
Local |
| FOX | Showtime at the Apollo (repeat) |
News/Local |
| NBC | Celebrity Apprentice (new) |
The Wall (repeat) |
Maybe that Rachel Bloom show has more support than Nielsen suggests. If they didn’t just make the numbers up, this article (https://www.highspeedinternet.com/resources/2016s-streamed-netflix-shows-state/) suggests that some states love them some Rebecca Bunch.